WIBTA if I fired our sitter over religion?

The soft hum of a lullaby filled the cozy living room as a toddler giggled, her babysitter flipping through a colorful book. For two busy parents, their sitter, Emily, was a godsend—patient, warm, and adored by their 2-year-old. But one day, the mom came home early to find Emily sharing stories they’d explicitly asked her not to, stories that clashed with their parenting approach. A spark of trust flickered out.

What started as a gentle reminder turned into a full-blown dilemma when Emily continued ignoring their rules. The mom, feeling betrayed, wanted to let her go, but her husband urged a second chance, citing their daughter’s bond with Emily. Was this a fireable offense, or an overreaction to a well-meaning mistake? The clash over boundaries left this family at a crossroads, wondering how to balance trust and discipline.

‘WIBTA if I fired our sitter over religion?’

My husband and I are both agnostic. Our child is 2 years old. We've agreed to introduce to her the cultural and historical aspects of major religions when fit (e.g. when we walk past a mosque and she gets curious. Not telling her anything complicated as of now because, you know, she's 2) and save the doctrines for when she's older.

Our babysitter, I'll call her 'Emily' here, has the patience of a saint, is very helpful and... religious. When Emily mentioned her religion during our interview, I made it crystal clear that we will respect that, but I also expect her to respect our wishes regarding religions.

I gave her some guidelines like no doctrine-embedded stories (e.g. we're all damned because our ancestors decided to eat an apple), no teaching of doctrines etc. Emily understandingly obliged, or so we thought. One day I came home early and caught her telling my child the story of creation of the world. I explained to Emily in private that it contradicts what we've been telling her,

you know, dinosaurs and such, and reminded her of our agreement. She apologized. I dropped it at that. Yesterday I found out she's been reading to my child religious books for kids that basically tell their readers to pray to and obey some deity. Not cool. Now I want to fire Emily because of the religious teaching behind my back, but my husband disagrees.

He thinks what's important here is that Emily takes good care of our child, and considering that she spends at most 20 hours a week with her, it shouldn't be too hard for us to 'undo' the religion part. I told him that a friend's child came home calling their parents sinners after two Sunday school classes so 20 hours a week isn't as trivial as he thinks.

He says I'm overreacting and would look really bad if I fire Emily over this issue. Plus, our child has bonded with her already, so replacing her would do our child a disservice. I want to respect my husband's opinions but I'm starting to resent Emily. So reddit, would I be the a**hole if I fire her?

Trust is the cornerstone of any caregiver-parent relationship, and Emily’s actions shook that foundation. The parents set clear boundaries about what their toddler should be exposed to, but Emily’s choice to ignore those rules—twice—sparked a rift. The mom’s push to fire her reflects a need to protect her parenting vision, while her husband’s hesitation highlights the value of their child’s bond with Emily. It’s a classic tug-of-war between trust and practicality.

This scenario reflects a broader challenge: maintaining authority when outsourcing childcare. Studies show consistent boundaries are crucial for young children’s development, and caregivers who disregard them can create confusion. Emily’s well-meaning stories, though tied to her personal beliefs, undermined the parents’ explicit instructions. This breach, however small, risks eroding trust, especially when repeated after a warning, signaling a deeper issue of respect.

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Dr. Tovah Klein, a child development expert, notes, “Caregivers must align with parents’ values to foster a child’s sense of security.” Emily’s actions, even if unintentional, disrupted this alignment. The mom’s instinct to fire her stems from a need to reassert control, but a conversation clarifying expectations might salvage the relationship. Open communication could reveal whether Emily’s lapse was defiance or misunderstanding, guiding the next steps.

For solutions, experts suggest a firm but fair approach. The parents could meet with Emily to restate boundaries and establish consequences, like a probation period. If trust can’t be rebuilt, replacing her may be necessary, prioritizing the child’s stability with a gradual transition.

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Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit’s dishing out some fiery takes, and they’re not holding back! From backing the mom’s right to set rules to questioning if firing is too harsh, the community’s split. Here’s what they said:

xoxokali − NTA, She's not respecting your wishes for your child, so you're perfectly in the right for firing her

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[Reddit User] − NTA. I'd fire her ass in a heartbeat. That's really uncool.

smashells32 − NTA. Your child, your rules. You gave her plenty of chances. It seems like Emily is using this as an opportunity to 'save' what she sees as a child in danger of hell or whatever.

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Grrriwantasammich − NTA. I’ve been in childcare for years and if a parent asked me to stop doing ANYTHING with their child and I continued to do it I would be surprised if they didn’t fire me. This isn’t about religion, it’s about the fact that she doesn’t respect your choice for your child as the actual parent.

Toasty1995 − NTA. Fire that i**ot

highoctane42093 − NTA. You've been respectful of her beliefs(from I'm reading) she has repeatedly disrespecred yours.

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TexasFordTough − INFO has your child said anything about God/religion in general since you've noticed this? I know they're young but it's amazing what kids can pick up.

Calliope719 − NTA. You have the right to dictate how your child is taught. If she refuses to respect that, it's a deal breaker, regardless of how well they've bonded. If you try to undo 20 hours a week of religious teaching, your poor child will be very confused and conflicted. Not worth it.

bossyjudge − NTA. She is not respecting your boundaries, she needs to go.

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pecan76 − 'Emily, unlike Jesus, your employment here cannot be resurrected'

These Reddit opinions are spicy, but do they hit the mark? Is this about trust, or is firing too extreme for a babysitter’s slip-up?

This childcare conundrum shows how quickly trust can fray when boundaries are crossed. The mom’s urge to fire Emily reflects her need to protect her parenting choices, but her husband’s plea for leniency raises questions about balance. Caregivers are vital, but so is respect for family rules. Would you fire a beloved sitter for ignoring your instructions, or give them another chance? Drop your thoughts below and share how you’d navigate this parenting pickle!

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