WIBTA if I don’t share my inheritance with my half siblings?

The sting of a father’s abandonment lingered for decades, but when a 37-year-old and their brother inherited over $100,000 from their loving grandparents, it felt like a quiet victory. Their half-siblings, raised by the father who left them, got $10,000 each, and their dad, a mere $500. Now, that same father is demanding they split their share to help his struggling kids, sparking a firestorm of accusations and guilt trips.

This Reddit tale crackles with the tension of old wounds and new wealth. The grandparents’ will was clear, but the father’s entitlement has thrown family ties into chaos. Can you honor the past without bending to pressure? Let’s dive into the post and unpack what it means to stand firm when family demands blur the lines of fairness.

‘WIBTA if I don’t share my inheritance with my half siblings?’

My father (63) left my mom (62) when I (37) was ten years old. He was having a baby with his girlfriend/now wife (50). My mom was a stay at home mom and didn't finish college. She had gotten pregnant with my older brother (42). My father was an ass and made the divorce as s**tty as possible for my mom.

We ended up moving in with my paternal grandparents. He was their only child and they were disappointed in him. They helped my mom go back to school. Once she finished school she wanted to pay them back but they wouldn't let her. They also basically disowned my father.

He was invited over for Thanksgiving and Christmas but that was about it. They did love their other grandchildren though. They always provided gifts and contributed to their education. My grandmother passed away a few years ago from b**ast cancer. And my grandfather passed away last year from complications related to COVID.

And he left everything to my brother and I. It wasn't a huge estate. And it's not life-changing money. Both my brother and I are well established in our careers. They left my father $500. The lawyer explained that it was a way of avoiding him being able to challenge the will.

They also left each of my half siblings $10,000. My brother and I each got over $100,000. My grandfather said that since my brother and I had grown up without a father, by his choice, but his other children had then he felt this was fair. He also left my mom his house and some money. She had been taking care of them for a long time and they never stopped thinking of her as a daughter.

My father approached my brother and I recently saying that his other kids are struggling with finance and that we should split everything with them since we really don't need the money. He also tried to get my mom to renounce her inheritance. She laughed in his face and asked for all the child support he owed.

I get that it's not my half siblings' fault but they had a dad to take care of them growing up and we didn't. So neither my brother or I agreed to share. Now my father, his wife, and all my half siblings are calling us assholes for being so greedy and not helping them through the hard time they are going through.. AITA?.

EDIT : Yes $100,000 is a lot of money. When I said it wasn't life changing I meant that I would still have to work for a living. I would still have to save for my retirement. I would still have a mortgage. I hope I didn't come off as 1%.

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Inheritance disputes can rip open old family scars, and this one’s a doozy. The grandparents’ will was a deliberate act of love for their grandchildren and former daughter-in-law, who endured a bitter divorce. Their father’s demand to redistribute the wealth ignores that intent. Estate planning expert Amy McCart says, “A will reflects the giver’s values and priorities; challenging it disrespects their legacy” (Forbes). The $500 left to the father was a strategic move to prevent legal contests, per a 2023 Probate & Property article (American Bar Association).

The father’s abandonment left the siblings to grow up without him, while his other children had his support. The grandparents’ choice to favor the siblings reflects this disparity, not greed. A 2021 study in Family Relations found that estrangement often shapes inheritance decisions, prioritizing those who maintained close ties (Wiley Online Library). The half-siblings’ $10,000 each was generous, given their limited bond with the grandparents.

This story taps into a broader issue: family entitlement versus individual rights. The father’s push, backed by his wife and kids, smacks of manipulation, projecting his guilt onto the siblings. The mother’s sharp retort about unpaid child support highlights his past failures. The siblings’ refusal isn’t about greed—it’s about honoring their grandparents’ wishes and their own struggles.

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For resolution, the siblings should hold firm but offer empathy, perhaps suggesting financial planning resources for their half-siblings without dipping into their inheritance. A family mediator could help diffuse tension, ensuring boundaries are clear. Documenting any aggressive texts could protect them if disputes escalate legally. Ultimately, respecting the grandparents’ will honors their love and legacy, and that’s worth standing by.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

The Reddit crowd came in hot, serving up support with a side of shade. Here’s what they had to say:

SecretJealous4342 − NTA. You know that your sperm donor isn't going to leave you or your brother anything when he does. Your grandmother and grandfather loved you and wanted to help you guys. And I'm glad your mom had their support. They sound like wonderful people.

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GrammaIsAWhore − NTA - You don’t owe your half siblings anything. This is your grandparents trying to do right by you after failing to raise a son that would.. Your grandparents sound like wonderful people and I’m sorry for your loss.

Scarscantstopme − NTA. It’s not your father’s money to distribute, it’s your grandfather’s. He clearly knew what he wanted to do with his property. Your dad is the a**hole here for thinking he’s entitled to something that’s clearly not his. I’m so glad you had such loving grandparents who saw how great your mom was and how awful your father was.

[Reddit User] − NTA. 36 yo sperm donor had an affair with a 23 yo (who I’m sure knew he was married) and knocked her up. He made your family’s life miserable, didn’t pay child support, and was such an ass that his parents basically disowned him.

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Now him and his entitled wife are throwing a fit because you won’t give money to their kids, who you barely know? Yeah, again, NTA. Not your circus, not your monkeys. Your Grandparents were good people and GrandDad knew what he was doing. You owe sperm donor and his new family nothing.

mdthomas − Edit after rereading:. It's your money now to do with as you choose. Your grandparents left the half siblings $10,000 each and they are STILL struggling? That's on them for poor financial decisions.. NTA

chaoticcheesewhiz − NTA. Heck, I’ll take it a step further and say you would be the a**hole if you respected your sperm donors wishes over your loving grandparents wishes. They decided who they wanted money going to and how much. They absolutely deserve your love and respect, he doesn’t.

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Caspian4136 − NTA Your dad is an ass and for all you know your step siblings aren't struggling much at all. He's just salty his parents left him nothing. Put your money into a retirement fund, use it as a down payment for a house, pay off some debts, whatever. But your grandfather left it to you two for a good reason, he knows the full truth of what happened and what goes on in the family.

Imaginary_Building_4 − NTA, your grandfather made his wishes perfectly clear. Your father was the AH and the step-siblings were not forgotten in the will, they just didn't get anymore than your grandfather felt they deserved.

peregrine_throw − NTA. Respect your grandfather's wishes. And berating someone as greedy when you're asking for a huge favor doubles down on how right your gpa's judgement was lol

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brainfreeze4445 − NTA. Your grandparents spilt that money the way they wanted to, you're under no obligation to split it. Father just has to deal with the consequences of his actions.. ​. ​. edit for spelling

These Redditors rallied behind the siblings, calling out the father’s gall. Are they spitting facts or just fanning the flames?

This story is a gut-punch reminder that family isn’t always fair. The grandparents’ will was a love letter to the siblings who grew up without a dad, but his demands threaten to rewrite their story. Standing firm honors their legacy, but navigating the fallout takes grit. Have you ever faced pressure to share what’s rightfully yours? What would you do in this family showdown? Share your thoughts below.

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