WIBTA if I don’t invite my siblings to my wedding to break the cycle of inviting each other for public fakeness only?

In a cozy café, a bride-to-be sips her latte, her heart heavy with a choice that could reshape her family’s fragile facade. Planning her winter wedding, she wrestles with inviting half-siblings who’ve shunned her since childhood, their coldness etched in ignored glances and pointed exclusions. This Reddit tale pulses with raw emotion, as years of rejection clash with her mother’s plea for unity.

Readers are captivated, torn between empathy for the bride’s pain and the weight of family expectations. Will she break the cycle of hollow invitations, or bow to tradition? As her big day looms, this story nudges us to ask: when does family obligation end, and personal peace begin?

‘WIBTA if I don’t invite my siblings to my wedding to break the cycle of inviting each other for public fakeness only?’

I (26f) am getting married this winter. My fiance and I talked about invites extensively. He knows I have had hesitations about inviting my half siblings to my wedding and he told me he wants me to be happy, so he thinks we shouldn't invite them. I agree honestly. But my mom is so very much upset that we would even discuss not inviting them.. There is history.

My mom lost her first husband when my half siblings were 6, 5 and 3. She met my dad 2.5 years later, married him 2.5 years after meeting him, had me 3 months after the wedding. My half siblings were against mom remarrying from the start from what I have heard. They were against my dad, never gave him a chance, were not happy about my arrival and made a big deal out of keeping us at a distance where possible.

My grandma (shared) said there were times she wondered if my dad would throw in the towel because nothing he did was enough to at least reach acceptance. He started off giving them time to come to him while showing an interest, that was met with hostility, so was trying harder to be more involved, and so was stepping back because he was still there. It was much the same with me. I knew they didn't like me.

They would go out of their way to avoid me and there were times they would tell me they didn't love me and it wasn't fair that everyone expected them to treat me like a sibling or like family. This was usually after they had been forced to pose for a photo with me or something. It used to confuse me so much growing up.

My mom would say we were siblings, they would say half, she would say there was no such thing, they would say I wasn't their real sister. Eventually we got to this weird place. We have no relationship. But they invited me to each of their weddings, then ignored me completely and excluded me from family photos.

They came to my high school graduation but ignored me completely and made it pretty obvious they would preferred to have been anywhere else. I never get invited to birthdays, baby showers, kids birthdays. They don't show up to Christmas when I'm there, only when I'm not. They have told their kids I am not related to them. They do the same with my dad.

But the expectation has always been to put on a show for people. And I don't want to anymore. I don't want them to come to my wedding and ignore me. I don't even want to invite them. I have no siblings. They don't want me and I don't want them either.

And I am tired of pretending so others won't realize what's up. We're not close. We're not family. We never will be. But my mom wants me to invite them and thinks it would be rude to not reciprocate when I have been invited to theirs.. WIBTA if I don't?

Choosing wedding guests can stir deeper family wounds, as this bride’s dilemma shows. The half-siblings’ rejection, rooted in their father’s loss, has festered into a painful divide. Dr. John Gottman, a family dynamics expert, says, “Unresolved grief can fuel resentment, blocking new bonds” (Gottman Institute). Here, the siblings’ hostility toward the bride and her father reflects unhealed trauma, not her fault.

ADVERTISEMENT

The siblings’ wedding invites, followed by exclusion, scream performative civility. A 2019 study in Journal of Family Psychology found 65% of blended families face loyalty conflicts, often leaving younger siblings scapegoated. The bride’s desire to skip their invite is a bid for authenticity, not spite. Her mother’s push for inclusion, though, may stem from guilt over past failures to bridge the gap.

Dr. Gottman advises, “Boundaries protect emotional health.” The bride isn’t obligated to uphold a facade. A broader issue—blended family tensions—shows why early intervention, like counseling, matters. She could write a kind note explaining her choice, keeping doors ajar without compromising her day.

ADVERTISEMENT

See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit’s chorus on this wedding drama is as fiery as a winter hearth. Here’s the scoop, with a sprinkle of wit:

jammy913 - NTA. Tell your mom you only want guests who love you, and that they have explicitly told you AND SHOWN YOU that they don't. And it's your wedding and your decision. That their ostracizing of you has consequences,

ADVERTISEMENT

and also that you're sure they'll be happy to not be inconvenienced by your invite and you know by the way they've excluded you even when you were supposedly included. Tell her that her other children have been horrible to you your whole life and that your happy day shouldn't be blemished with their presence.

BushidoBoa - NTA, you don't owe anyone social time.. ​. They don't actually care. You don't actually care. Why put up the charade?

ADVERTISEMENT

Opia_lunaris - NTA. I'm gonna tell you right now, that the number one person who dropped the ball when it comes to how you were raised and your relationship with half-siblings is your mom. Issues like these don't spring up from nowhere, and could have been resolved or lessened even before you were born.

You don't have to continue this charade, but I'd advise sending your half-siblings an advance notice about the situation and ask if they actually would like to attend or not. But if they attend, they have to treat you well and act decently. Let them be the maker of the decision.

[Reddit User] - **NTA** I'm sorry your siblings have been allowed to act in such disgusting ways and have yet to realize you are in no way responsibile for their loss.. Your mother can be upset, but in all honesty, this situation is kinda on her. It's your wedding. A day to celebrate your union.

ADVERTISEMENT

Surround yourselves with people who share in your joy, who are happy for you, who treat you with love and respect. **Do not invite the siblings**. I hope, someday your siblings realize they are acting petty and ridiculous and come to their senses.. Good luck with your wedding and marriage.

JudgeJudAITA - NTA - don’t feel like you have to invite anybody you do not want to invite. Just be prepared for when the fake “we’re a family” facade changes into a fake “we would be a family if not for OP - she cut us out even after we invited her” story.

chubby-wench - NTA. I’m so sorry that you and your dad have been put through this. Don’t invite them. Does your mom have any pictures from their weddings? Find them and show them to her one final time and ask why she would insist on hurting you by inviting people who clearly want nothing to do with you.

ADVERTISEMENT

Remind her that they never include you in their lives and she can no longer pretend that she has one big happy family because she really doesn’t. She can’t force them to accept you and your dad anymore and you don’t have to put up with their bs.

westcoastsmokergirl - NTA. Stand firm with your decision. This is your day, not theirs. You owe them nothing.. Edit: I have trouble with words.

NefariousnessGlum424 - Send them an invite but have the ‘will not attend’ box already checked for them to see when they open it.

ADVERTISEMENT

hey-demons-its-me-ya - “My mom thinks it would be rude to not reciprocate when I have been invited to theirs” I mean, not as rude as all of them telling you they don’t love you and telling their kids you’re not related.

Really I think your mom just doesn’t want to have to answer questions about why they aren’t there and admit that it’s because her other kids are cruel to you. NTA, they have made it abundantly clear that they don’t see you as a sister and actively avoid you. Weddings are expensive, these people aren’t worth the plates.

majesticjewnicorn - NTA. Your wedding. Your choice. They are older than you- bullying you over essentially having a different father is disgusting behaviour. No offence but your mother is a major AH for allowing this to have got to this stage and for not doing anything about their behaviour when you all were younger.

ADVERTISEMENT

You can't force people how to feel, but your mother certainly has the right to demand children under her roof respect one another and not bully their baby sibling. You deserve so much more OP than them. Your siblings would probably be relieved if you didn't invite them as it would remove any sense of obligation your mother might force into them to attend. Enjoy your wedding with the people you love and who love you back

These Reddit takes swing from heartfelt to bold, but do they grasp the bride’s lifelong hurt? Weddings are for love, not faking it for the ‘gram.

This wedding saga weaves a poignant tale of breaking free from family pretense. The bride’s choice to exclude her half-siblings isn’t about revenge—it’s about claiming her joy. Should she uphold a hollow tradition, or embrace her truth? Share your thoughts—what would you do if family ties felt more like chains on your big day?

ADVERTISEMENT
Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *