WIBTA if I didn’t buy my 16 year old sister a new Juul?

The laundry room’s hum turned tense as a 25-year-old woman pulled a battered Juul from the washer, sparking a family feud. Visiting home, she’d offered to wash her 16-year-old sister’s clothes, only to face tears and demands for a replacement when the vaping device was ruined. Her refusal, grounded in the device’s illegality for minors, unleashed a storm of accusations from her sister and unexpected pressure from their mom to “make it right.”

The once-pleasant family visit soured, with icy silences and canceled plans piling on the strain. The mom’s insistence that sisterly bonds trump legal and ethical concerns left the woman reeling, questioning her stance. Was standing her ground worth the family rift? As her departure loomed, Reddit users weighed in, ready to untangle this sticky sibling drama with a puff of clarity.

‘WIBTA if I didn’t buy my 16 year old sister a new Juul?’

I'm 25F, and live across the country from my family. I'm wrapping up a weeklong visit home now, and up until this point it had been really nice. On Monday, I had a free morning and wanted to be helpful, so I did some laundry.

As I was putting a load into the washing machine, my younger sister came in with some clothes she said she wanted cleaned ASAP. I had no problem with that so I took them to add to the current load. While hanging everything up, I noticed that there was a battered Juul in the bottom of the washer.

I pulled it out and brought it to my sister, figuring it was hers. As soon as I told her that it had gone through a wash cycle, she got really annoyed and asked if I'd gone through the pockets before I washed her stuff. I admitted I hadn't.

After that, she was even more annoyed & upset. She said since I ruined the Juul, it was on me to buy her a whole new one and a pack of new pods. Here's where I'm not sure if my position is right or not: I said no, absolutely not.

That not only was it on her to keep track of her possessions, but that it was illegal for her to even own one and that I wouldn't do something technically illegal to replace it for her. At this point, she was crying and yelling really loudly, so our mom came in to ask what was up.

We each related what had happened. Then, mom turned to me and told me that if it was going to cause issues between us, I needed to be the bigger person and replace the Juul. That a sisterly relationship is more important than a silly little toy.

I told her what a Juul actually is and the legalities involved, but she cut me off to say that that didn't make a difference and it was the principle of the matter that dictated I should replace it. I said, well, what if I take her shopping and spend the equivalent amount?

My sister cut in and said 'I don't want anything you're only spending $50 on', and I said something snarky about definitely not buying her a Juul in that case cause that's what they cost. By then, my mom had about had it, and told me that it's on me to make this right.

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That I can choose to be a goody two-shoes and damage my relationship with my sister, or suck it up and fix this. I've refused, and as a result this vacation has become incredibly tense. My sister won't speak to me more than a word or two,

and my mom is mysteriously super busy when we were supposed to have plans (she already took off work for them, so I know she's just being petty about this). My flight is on Saturday, so I have another couple days of this to endure if I'm gonna stand my ground.. Am I really the a**hole here?

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This family clash highlights the mess of misplaced responsibility. The OP’s refusal to replace her sister’s Juul, damaged in the wash, stems from a clear boundary: it’s illegal for a 16-year-old to own one, and checking pockets was her sister’s job. Her mom’s push to prioritize sisterly harmony over legality ignores the bigger issue—enabling a minor’s nicotine use, which hooks 20% of teen vapers, per a 2022 CDC study (source: CDC).

Psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour notes, “Teens need adults to model accountability, not indulgence” (source: DrLisaDamour.com). The sister’s tantrum and the mom’s pressure deflect her failure to teach responsibility. OP’s offer to spend $50 on something else was a fair compromise, rejected by her sister’s entitlement. The mom’s “be the bigger person” plea risks normalizing unhealthy habits over ethics.

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The broader issue is parenting in the face of teen rebellion. The mom’s dismissal of vaping’s risks—linked to lung issues in 10% of young users (source: American Lung Association)—undermines OP’s valid stance. By refusing, OP protects her integrity and her sister’s health, even if it strains family ties. The mom needs to address her daughter’s behavior, not guilt-trip OP.

To resolve this, OP could calmly reiterate her legal and moral concerns, offering to mend ties through quality time instead. The mom should guide the sister toward accountability, perhaps with counseling for vaping. Open dialogue could ease tension, but OP’s boundary is crucial to uphold, fostering respect over resentment in this family dynamic.

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Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit users rallied behind the OP, slamming her sister’s entitlement and her mom’s misguided pressure. They argued the 16-year-old should’ve checked her pockets and shouldn’t own a Juul, given its illegality and health risks. The community saw OP’s refusal as a stand for responsibility, not a rift in sisterly bonds, and criticized the mom for enabling underage vaping.

dragonpersonn - NTA. You weren’t even the one that damaged it. She shouldn’t have one in the first place. Your mom is being ridiculous. Don’t buy her another one. Edit: I’m still so caught up on the fact that she blamed you for damaging it. SHE should’ve been responsible for her own property, and for going through HER own pockets before giving you the laundry. It’s NOT your job to do that!

saltierthangoldfish - NTA - You'd be committing a crime and feeding a teenager's dangerous habit. The fact that your mom knows your underage sister is using nicotine products illegally and doesn't care is messed up.. edit: I’m begging y’all to make your own comment threads

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[Reddit User] - NTA.. 1. It’s illegal and you shouldn’t play a part in damaging your sister’s lungs. 2. She asked you to do her a favor and wash her clothes. She’s 16 and should know to check her pockets. You don’t owe her anything. She needs to grow up and take responsibility for her actions.. 3. Your mom should not be allowing her Juul use, or even saying that you’re at fault.

DotComCTO - NTA. It's your sister's responsibility to go through her pockets to make sure she didn't leave something in there. That said, she's just being a bratty, self-centered a-hole teenager. Now, I'm sorry to say this, but the biggest a-hole in all of this is your mom, for supporting your sister's position.

Your mother is ignoring the *potential* for health issues with vaping, and attempting to force you into buying something illegal for a 16 y/o to own anyway! What's next, getting you to buy beer and alcohol for your sister?

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Maybe she'll have you score drugs for your sister, because where's her line in what's acceptable anyway, just as long as you and your sister get along, right?. Your mother isn't being a mother. She's trying to be a friend to your sister.. Stick to your guns on this one. Don't give in to their twisted 'logic'.

cuissescommemiel - NTA.. Dear Mom, Because you have encouraged me to to participate in an illegal activity by purchasing a nicotine product for a minor, I have used that $50 to change my flight and head home early.. Put that in your Juul and smoke it.. Xo,. OP

Ninrfevr16 - NTA. She shouldn’t be using the Juul. Period. Your mom needs to educated on the dangers.

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AwkBallOfSelfDoubt - NTA. How do you not check your pockets before you make someone else do your laundry? That's where everything started. And not your fault at all. Everything after that is just irrelevant.

Lady_Dementia - Oh, absolutely NTA. It's her job to empty her pockets. Don't buy her a new one.

eszkert420 - NTA.. A 16y/o shouldn't even have a juul

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DFMcGuck - NTA. Oh my God OP your sister can be immature, she's 16, but your mother is something else. If she's okay with you feeding an underage person's nicotine habit then that is a much bigger problem. Do not under any circumstances give in to their pressure, you're doing the right thing.

Many called the mom’s “be the bigger person” stance absurd, noting it excused the sister’s irresponsibility while ignoring the legal and ethical issues. They urged OP to hold firm, seeing her offer of alternative spending as generous. The consensus was clear: OP’s stance protected both her integrity and her sister’s well-being, despite family tension.

This vaping-fueled family drama puffs up questions of responsibility, boundaries, and parenting. The OP’s refusal to replace her teen sister’s Juul, backed by legal and ethical concerns, clashes with her mom’s plea for harmony over accountability. With family ties strained and a teen’s health at stake, where do you draw the line? How would you navigate this smoky sibling standoff? Share your thoughts below!

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