WIBTA For Stopping My Wife’s Fancy Mocktails She Barely Drinks?

In a cozy kitchen filled with the hum of creativity, a husband’s passion for crafting mocktails has hit a sour note. For years, he’s whipped up vibrant, fruity drinks for his wife, pouring time and money into exotic syrups and garnishes, only to watch them sit untouched, turning to mush on the counter. Her insistence on having these elaborate concoctions, paired with a casual shrug when they go to waste, has left him questioning his role as the family mixologist. Reddit’s stirring the pot with this one.

The tension isn’t about alcohol—mocktails are booze-free—but about feeling unappreciated for his efforts. With their kid in the mix and hosting duties adding flair to their routine, he’s wondering if halting her mocktail orders or asking her to foot the bill is a step too far. Is he justified in pulling the plug, or would that shake up their marriage? Let’s sip into this domestic dilemma.

‘WIBTA if I cut off my wife’s mocktails?’

I've always enjoyed cooking. My wife, coincidentally doesn't, so I usually prepare our meals from scratch. This has also applied to our beverages, a**oholic at first, and mocktails once our kid was born. I don't really miss the alcohol so much as the fruity, creative drinks that can be made at home, so mocktails when we're alone, and normal drinks for me when people come over, and a mocktail for my wife.

Thing is, she has started to drink less and less. Which is totally fine, but she still insists on me making mocktails (full of expensive syrups and herbs, dried fruit and what not) for her that go almost completely untouched once it hits the table.

This has been going on for more than a year, and it bums me out that I'm essentially throwing expensive stuff directly to the sink. Which I pay for, or make. She keeps insisting on having mocktails, and when confronted about it, says

dry green apples, buy edelweiss or amaretto syrups, and once the mocktail is served, hours go by and it goes warm and turns into a mush. I am contemplating stopping servign her altogether, or making her buy the expensive stuff, but it seems like an a**hole move. Is it? WIBTA if I cut off my wife?.

EDIT: Holy crap, this exploded, so lemme clarify: 1)I'd say we host people onceor twice a month, but she also asks for mocktails when we're alone, maybe 2 times a week.. 2) Mocktails don't have alcohol, I'm not trying to make her an a**oholic

3) This is not about me controlling her, I just equate feeling appreciated for the work with consuming the product of said work. Just replace the word

This mocktail muddle is less about drinks and more about unspoken expectations brewing in a marriage. The husband’s labor-intensive creations reflect care, but his wife’s indifference to their waste signals a disconnect in how they value each other’s efforts. Her stance—she’s not obligated to finish—clashes with his need for appreciation, creating a recipe for resentment.

Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages, notes, “When we feel our efforts go unnoticed, it can erode emotional connection.” The husband’s mocktails might be his way of showing love through acts of service, but her untouched glasses could feel like rejection. Meanwhile, her insistence on having them suggests she values the gesture, even if she doesn’t consume the result.

Household labor imbalances often spark such tensions. A 2023 study by the Journal of Marriage and Family found that 62% of couples report friction when one partner’s contributions feel undervalued. The husband’s role as primary cook and drink-maker amplifies this, especially with costly ingredients at stake.

For a fix, Chapman suggests open dialogue to align love languages. The husband could propose smaller servings or simpler recipes to reduce waste, while asking his wife to acknowledge his effort, perhaps by helping with prep. A compromise—like her buying ingredients occasionally—could balance the load.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit’s comment crew is shaking up a storm of advice and empathy, with a twist of tough love for this cocktail conundrum. Here’s a taste of their spirited takes—bottoms up! These Reddit pours are bold, but do they blend a solution for this couple’s clash? Let’s shake it out!

Bob8372 − Can you just serve her smaller drinks?

thoracicbunk − NAH She's not obligated to finish them, and you're not obligated to make them. I would say if you can find a happy medium of batchmaking her something special, and let her know that'll be the drink for the next two weeks or whatever, that would be sweet. I would also look into getting some tiny glasses, so you don't have the visual irritation of seeing a big glass go untouched.

It's a very valid concern to not want to waste your time, ingredients and effort on something that isn't going to be consumed. You could make this about a larger effort to reduce waste in the kitchen, which is a smart move, regardless. Also, she's more than welcome to make her own ginger beer or fancy mocktails.

If it's something that you would enjoy, attend a class together, go out and buy ingredients together, etc.  Maybe she could be the one to start taking over drinks since you're making food. I think there is some underlying entitlement occurring here that is probably worth addressing in and of itself.

You are giving a gift of your labor to create delicious food and drinks, all that you're asking is that they are actually consumed and appreciated. It's up to you, but if I were in your shoes I would approach it from that avenue. That way you guys can problem solve together. I'm sure she also wants to be appreciated and seen for the efforts that she does for your lives, and you deserve the same.

Only_Tip9560 − Look, it is really simple. Just say that you have noticed that she is not drinking the drinks you've made for her and as they are time consuming and expensive you are going to stop doing it. Then stop doing it.

meowsieunicorn − Have you talked to her about the burden it’s placing on you to prepare and buy all of this stuff? Fun creative things you enjoy can become burdensome when they are not only expected but demanded. I think you need to tell her how you feel. Establish boundaries of what you’ll do and not do. Is there a reason she can’t make her own ginger beer?

Eastern_Condition863 −

I would say

TheThinnestCoat − IMO, this is not something you ask the internet. You talk to your spouse, you figure out what's going on, you communicate and find a compromise. When things like this are posted, to me it's a sign of a much deeper marital issue.

twizzlersfun − Make a drink for you and give her a shot glass of it.

Hansm84 − So this is sort of a weird one. The complaint is you make her a drink, a drink that comes with a high price in cost and effort, that she doesn’t drink then proceeds to brush off your frustration. But you’re also saying that you like to play bartender when you have company so you’re making drinks for everyone.  You’ve mentioned that when it’s just the two of you,

you don’t generally make mocktails/cocktails and it’s really only when you have guests that this happens. So with that in mind, how many of these drinks that contain expensive ingredients and require a high level of effort are you throwing away really?   If everyone else at the party is drinking the drinks and it’s only your wife’s cup that you’re dumping and it’s only one or two drinks per event - you said hours will pass,

I have a hard time buying the wasted expense argument. So from that standpoint, embarrassing her at a party she is also hosting, at her house, by refusing to make her a drink would make YTA. I don’t have a good solution for you, and if this is truly just about her not drinking her drink, I would encourage you to let this one go.

Good-Preparation-884 − I think NAH (no assholes). OP is frustrated because of the burden that’s being placed on him. Frankly, I’d be annoyed too if I paid for & put effort into expensive drinks (which someone specifically asks for) and they don’t drink it at all. However, like mentioned in another comment, OP’s wife specifically asks for these mocktails and they make her happy. I think you two need to have a mature (sober) conversation about this.

Ok-Guidance-2112 − NTA, she can want a nice drink and isnt obligated to finish it, you also are not obligated to go above and beyond making a fancy drink for someone to barely taste. You could offer her a sip of yours maybe? This almost feels like a weird power play where she hopes you get annoyed and drop the whole mixed drink thing aside

This mocktail saga is a fizzy reminder that even small gestures, like a crafted drink, can bubble over into bigger marital issues when appreciation fizzles out. The husband’s frustration with wasted effort clashes with his wife’s casual approach, leaving their connection a bit flat. Would you cut off the mocktails, or find a way to keep the vibe flowing? Share your thoughts, stories, or recipes for compromise in the comments—let’s toast to sorting out this domestic drama!

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