WIBTA if I cut off my parents and not pay back my student tuition to my dad?
Picture a young woman, cap and gown still swaying from her graduation walk, hugging friends under a sunny sky, only to face a storm at home. For one 22-year-old, this moment sparked a family clash that’s left her questioning everything. Her parents, especially her father, have long dangled financial support like a leash, threatening to yank it if she steps out of line. Now, after opening her own bank account and rejecting their push for an arranged marriage, she faces a shocking demand:
repay $70,000 in college tuition her dad once called a gift. The tension is palpable—her independence is at stake, and she’s considering cutting ties entirely. Can she walk away from family without guilt, or is she being ungrateful? This story of control, betrayal, and defiance pulls readers into a drama that’s all too relatable for anyone navigating family expectations.
‘WIBTA if I cut off my parents and not pay back my student tuition to my dad?’
This young woman’s story is a textbook case of financial control masquerading as generosity. Her father’s meticulous tracking of expenses and sudden demand for repayment reveal a deeper intent to manipulate. According to Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist specializing in narcissistic behavior, “Control through money is a common tactic in toxic relationships. It creates dependency and guilt, trapping the recipient”. Here, the father’s Excel sheet and threats to stop funding during college suggest a pattern of conditional support, not a gift.
The parents’ reaction to her hugging male friends and pushing an arranged marriage further highlights their need to dominate her choices. This isn’t just a family spat—it reflects a broader issue of parental overreach. A 2022 study from the Journal of Family Psychology found that 30% of young adults report experiencing controlling behaviors from parents, often tied to financial support. The daughter’s decision to open a secret bank account was a bold step toward autonomy, but her father’s rage shows how deeply he equates money with power.
Dr. Durvasula advises setting firm boundaries: “You can’t negotiate with someone who uses money as leverage. Independence is the only way to break free.” For the OP, this might mean going no-contact, at least temporarily, to establish her own financial and emotional space. She could start by securing all personal documents, freezing her credit, and removing her name from joint accounts, as Reddit users suggested. Therapy could also help her process years of emotional manipulation.
Here’s how people reacted to the post:
The Reddit community didn’t hold back, dishing out a mix of support and sharp-witted advice that’s as candid as a late-night chat with friends. Here’s what they had to say about this family drama:
![[Reddit User] − NTA. It sounds like dad made the choice to send you to school and pay. There was no agreement initially of you paying him back, correct? It got out of hand when he began trying to make every single decision in your life.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/314016q-13.png)
These hot takes from Reddit are fiery, but do they capture the full picture? Is cutting ties the only path, or could there be room for reconciliation?
This young woman’s struggle tugs at the heart—balancing gratitude for her father’s support against the suffocating control it came with. Her story raises a universal question: when does family loyalty become a trap? She’s standing at a crossroads, weighing financial independence against emotional ties. Readers, what would you do if your family tried to control your life with money? Share your thoughts and experiences—have you ever had to draw a hard line with loved ones to protect your freedom?
