WIBTA if I changed my passcode on my laptop?

Picture a college freshman, fresh off a long day of classes, settling down to tackle a major project on her shiny new laptop—purchased with hard-earned graduation gift money. The glow of the screen feels like a small victory, a tool for her dreams, until her mom barges in, demanding she hand it over for her sister’s PowerPoint. Suddenly, her personal sanctuary becomes a family free-for-all, leaving her frustrated and powerless.

This isn’t just about a laptop; it’s a tug-of-war over ownership and respect in a crowded household. The student’s family, without a working desktop, has declared her device the “family computer,” using it for shopping and schoolwork while ignoring her protests. As her battery drains and privacy concerns mount, she’s contemplating a bold move: changing the passcode to reclaim what’s hers, setting the stage for a heated family showdown.

‘WIBTA if I changed my passcode on my laptop?’

So some background my (19)F bought a laptop last year to start college with. I took the money I got for graduation gifts to buy a brand new laptop. I haven’t had an issue with people taken it since I got it. However, recently I’ve found my battery drained and when I go to use it one of my family members will have it.

Like one time. This was a few weeks ago. I was trying to finish up this major project for one of my classes. My mom came in and told me that I needed to wrap things up so my sister could use my laptop. I told her I was going to be on it for a while.

She told me that my sister had a presentation and she needed to make a PowerPoint and that they couldn’t use my laptop anytime before because it was always with me. (At school) So for two hours I had to make her PowerPoint.

This has happened several occasions and honestly I’m getting tired of my computer missing. Just the other day my mom told me to give her the passcode so she could use it. She uses it to do her shopping and last night I came home from work and saw she had my computer again.

Everyone said that because we don’t have a desktop to use anymore that my computer is the family computer but I paid for it and have files on there for school and personal information on there. I know I’m probably being selfish but I’d like my computer to stay mine.

Family disputes over shared resources can feel like a battle for personal space, especially when boundaries blur. The college student’s frustration stems from her family treating her laptop—bought with her own money—as a communal asset. Her mom’s demands to use it for shopping and her sister’s presentations override her schoolwork, showing a lack of respect for her ownership and academic priorities.

This scenario highlights broader issues of family dynamics and entitlement. A 2022 study in Journal of Family Psychology found that 65% of young adults living at home report conflicts over personal belongings, often due to unclear boundaries. The family’s assumption that the student’s laptop replaces their broken desktop places unfair responsibility on her, ignoring the device’s role in her education and privacy, including linked text messages.

Dr. Susan Newman, a social psychologist, notes, “Respecting personal property is crucial for healthy family relationships, especially when young adults assert independence”. Newman’s insight supports the student’s right to protect her laptop, while the family’s pushback reflects resistance to her growing autonomy. Their claim that her passcode change is selfish overlooks her need for control over her own belongings.

Setting boundaries is key here. The student could calmly explain her need for privacy and school focus, suggesting the family pool resources for a shared device. Creating a separate “family” user account, as Reddit suggested, could protect her files while allowing limited access. Families should respect personal purchases, and young adults can benefit from assertive communication to maintain harmony while safeguarding their property.

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These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit overwhelmingly supported the student, asserting that her laptop, paid for with her own money, is hers alone. Users criticized the family’s entitlement, noting that demanding access without permission—especially during her schoolworkwas disrespectful. Many emphasized that the broken desktop is the family’s problem, not hers, and urged her to change the passcode to protect her privacy.

Some suggested practical solutions, like creating a separate user account for family use to safeguard her files and messages. Others pointed out that affordable laptops are available, questioning why the family hasn’t bought one. Reddit’s consensus was clear: ownership means control, and the student’s boundary-setting is justified to maintain her academic and personal space.

thatonebookner − NTA you paid for it. It’s yours, tell them to buy a new one for the family if it’s so important

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ChavoDemierda − NTA. If my kids buy something with their own money, it's theirs, period. Try talking to your family first, express your concerns as politely as possible, then change your password. As long as you're not doing anything harmful online, it shouldn't be an issue.

jjules720 − Seriously is this even a question? Unfortunately you set the precedent by letting this go on for so long. The first time this happen you should have spoke up. You should have made it known that the laptop was not for public use. Its something you need for school and you don't want it getting damaged or your files getting corrupted.

If you hadn't brought that laptop what would they have used. And if YOUR laptop gets damaged while in some one elses hand will they replace it. You can get a laptop for less $300 dollars at Walmart. Why can't your family pool their money together to buy one. Frankly telling someone to hurry and finish using a device they own so someone else can use it is rude as hell.

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Laramila − NTA. Change the password and refuse to give it out.. Everyone said that because we don’t have a desktop to use anymore that my computer is the family computer Tell them that if they want this to be the family computer, they need to pay you for it at the price you originally paid for it. Until then, this is your school computer.

KingOfTheMischiefs − NTA. You paid. It's yours.. If the family want it as a family computer... They can pay for it. Simple as.

CorrectFerret − Nta. If your mom wants it to be a ‘family’ computer, then the ‘family’ needs to pay for it.

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slydog4100 − The desktop no longer being functional seems like a Mom problem, not an OP problem. If you bought the computer for school, then using it for school or whatever else of your choosing is what it is for.

Mom doesn't get to decide it is public property or kick you off of it when you are doing your own work. Its fine if you are asked to loan it out for someone else's use, but to assume it is theirs as priority and you should work around them- That's a huge NOPE. NTA

saurellia − NTA. This is not going to go over well but you are within your rights to tell your mom you paid for the laptop so it is yours.

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LreK84 − NTA but your family has leverage... If they don’t stop using your computer at least create a „family“ user for privacy. This way your browsing history, messages and so on will stay private. And NEVER EVER give out your password ;)

LikeAPlane − INFO. Everyone said that because we don’t have a desktop to use anymore that my computer is the family computer.... What happened to the desktop?

This laptop saga reveals the messy clash of family needs and personal rights. The student’s push to lock her device isn’t selfish—it’s a stand for her autonomy and academic success. Her family’s overreach reminds us that respect for ownership keeps households humming. Have you ever had to defend your personal belongings from family? Share your stories and tips for setting boundaries!

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