WIBTA if I buy my girlfriend a cheap engagement ring?

Picture a man, heart racing, clutching a velvet box with a gold ring that sparkles with an emerald glow—perfect for his girlfriend’s taste. He’s ready to pop the question, but his sister’s harsh words sting: the £180 ring is “cheap” and might humiliate his fiancée among her friends.

The Reddit post dives into a whirlwind of love, budget, and societal pressure, as he wrestles with whether price tags define devotion. With his girlfriend unaware of the surprise, the stakes feel sky-high. Reddit’s buzzing with takes on whether this ring spells romance or regret, and the debate’s just heating up.

‘WIBTA if I buy my girlfriend a cheap engagement ring?’

I guess it goes without saying that I am proposing, but I should mention my girlfriend doesn't know I will be. I picked out a ring I think she'll like. She never wears rings and isn't a massive fan of diamonds. So I found a really nice gold one with an emerald that's surrounding by small diamonds.

She loves green and gold jewellery, and I spent a long time finding this one. It's a created emerald which I think she'll prefer because she definitely wouldn't want any sort of conflict jewels. The ring is cheap. It was £300 and has actually gone down to £180. I mentioned this to my sister who said I was a d**k, essentially.

Apparently, she'll be showing it to her friends (some of whom are engaged), who will know about rings and clarity and such. She says they will see that it's cheap and it will be embarrassing for her. I'm 90% sure my girlfriend doesn't know much about jewellery and clarity.

I could probably get a similar ring that's more expensive. I certainly wouldn't know why I'm paying more, I don't think she would either. However, I am starting a new job soon and was going to buy a new TV for £250.

I kind of realised I'm willing to spend more on myself for a random treat yourself present than an engagement ring and I started understanding my sister's perspective a bit more. So WIBTA?

Edit: I just want to clarify that we have talked about marriage and are both on board. It's the proposal in terms of when and how I do it that would be a surprise. Edit 2: I really want to thank everyone for contributing and helping me out.

I left to run some errands and returned to an overwhelming response full of additional advice which goes above and beyond, I really appreciate it. I am not going to be able to reply to everyone, but I am reading and upvoting. Edit 3: Thank you for the gold. I haven't found the comment it's on yet. I'm still trying to work through the comments!

Choosing an engagement ring can feel like navigating a minefield of expectations. The OP, aiming to delight his girlfriend with an emerald ring, hit a snag when his sister labeled it “cheap” at £180. The issue? Societal pressure to flaunt wealth versus personal sentiment. The girlfriend’s disinterest in jewelry suggests she’d value thoughtfulness over cost, but the sister’s warning highlights how others’ perceptions can sting.

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This tension reflects a broader cultural obsession with status symbols. A 2023 study by The Knot found 70% of couples discuss ring budgets openly, averaging £5,000 in the UK (source). Yet, as relationship expert Esther Perel notes, “Authenticity in relationships trumps performative gestures” (source). The OP’s thoughtful choice aligns with his girlfriend’s tastes, but the sister’s critique taps into fears of social judgment. If the ring’s quality holds—secure gems, durable band—it’s a solid pick, regardless of price.

The solution lies in communication. The OP could subtly confirm his girlfriend’s preferences, perhaps through casual ring-browsing, as some Redditors suggest. Perel’s advice to prioritize shared values over flashiness applies here: a ring reflecting her style beats a pricier, generic one. To avoid hurt feelings, he should keep the cost private and focus on the gesture’s meaning. A heartfelt proposal will outshine any gossip about clarity or carats.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit swooped in like a lively pub crowd, tossing out cheers and cautions with equal gusto. From paper clip rings to warnings about quality, the comments are a colorful mix of support and reality checks. Here’s the unfiltered scoop:

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losergirl10000 − NTA. You picked out something that you thought she’d like and it just happened to be cheap. My fiancé proposed to me with a paper clip ring. We were poor, in no place to buy jewelry of any kind and I couldn’t be happier.

Eventually he replaced it with an actual ring which is still pretty affordable. Just a white gold band. Under $200. I don’t really like wearing jewelry so it’s perfect and exactly what I wanted!!. She won’t care about the ring, she just wants to marry you.

jigglybitt − There’s a difference between cheap & cheap looking. Who cares how much it cost? I say that it shouldn’t be cheap looking because it is a piece that should be made well enough to stand up to the test of time if you want her to keep it forever (& not upgrade later on as some do).. Other then that, if you like it and think she will too then have at it!. Congrats!

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AlmaReville − NAH but talk to her!. Your comments several times say you “think” she might want or “think” she might not wear it. A ring that she might (or might not) plan to wear or pass down to her kids or nieces shouldn’t be a surprise. Pick the ring together. Keep parts of the proposal a surprise.

novemberwanderer − NTA but... trust your gut, i’m hoping that you would know whAt your girlfriend would like best. I’m sure she would love just anything from you. Proposing shouldn’t be about money, but sometimes it is :(

ohJaeKay − NAH, but incase your wrong I'd seriously think about going for something a bit nicer. I would take her ring shopping under ruse and see what her interests are. Like you wanna buy something for your mom or Sister. And see what she oooohs and ahhhhs. Ask her opinions about the styles and stones.

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facetiousfish − NAH but be sure it’s actually good quality—gems aren’t cheap looking, they’re not made of glass (might break), band won’t turn her finger green, gems are well-set and won’t fall out. That price is REALLY cheap.

Nothing wrong with not spending a ton, but make sure you know what you’re paying for. Also, if it were me and I found out the price, I wouldn’t be able to help feeling a bit put out. I’d try not to, but what with the TV and all, it would bother me a little.

Lola-the-showgirl − YTA. Lord this I'm going to be massacred with downvotes but i'm going against the grain here because I'm putting myself in your gfs shoes. Personally I'm not very materialistic nor do I wear jewelry ( I wear the same necklace everyday and that's all)

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but if I found out my bf was willing to spend more on a TV for himself then a ring I would spend the rest of my life wearing I'd be a little hurt. I get what everyone else is saying, that's it's about your commitment and not the ring, and even my dad proposed to my mom ringless because he couldn't afford it.

But I think that's the difference, he couldn't afford a ring at the time whereas you are spending more on a treat yourself present than a ring supposed to symbol your love for each other.

Be honest, did you pick it because it was the ring you knew she'd like the most, or because you liked the deal? Maybe she won't mind, you obviously know her better than any of us. I just wanted to give my personal opinion on how I would feel in her position.

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chumpess − NTA Who gives a f**k what other people think? If she would love it, and you would love it, who cares? It’s not about being cheap, it’s about being practical and true to yourselves. I’d be sad if I thought my husband spent more money than he needed to, just because he wanted to make other people happy.

HomocusPocus − NAH. Talking about engagement is a healthy thing for relationships. A good question to ask (something I asked my boyfriend) during the discussion is: “What would you want in an engagement?”

Then try to follow through with what she’s asking. This way your girlfriend will appreciate you asking and you can get ideas from her. Including her in the process will reduce the chance of disappointment and give you an idea for a budget.

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[Reddit User] − NAH, but you should never discuss things like the cost of your engagement ring with anyone but your fiancée. It’s none of your sisters business, and I can guarantee that 99.9% of people won’t be able to tell the difference between a 300 ring and 1,300 ring.

But, she’s right your fiancée might feel unhappy if others don’t receive her ring as “cheap”. At the end of the day it’s between you two to figure out what makes you happy, and the ring sounds like a good engagement gift. Just make sure she feels the same and don’t spread the word about the cost further (although that cat may already be out of the bag tbh..)

These Redditors mostly back the OP’s budget-friendly choice, urging him to prioritize love over price. Some warn about quality or hurt feelings, especially if the TV purchase overshadows the ring. But do these takes nail the balance between sentiment and status? The ring’s sparking a lively debate.

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This tale of a £180 ring reveals how love can get tangled in society’s obsession with price tags. The OP’s thoughtful choice shows devotion, but his sister’s warning hints at judgment from others. Reddit’s split on whether cost matters, but the real gem is the couple’s shared values. A ring’s worth lies in its meaning, not its price. Have you faced pressure to spend big on a symbol of love? What would you do in this groom’s shoes?

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