WIBTA If I Broke Things Off With A Guy Because He Wouldn’t Drive Me Home?

How much should you expect from someone you’ve only dated a handful of times? One 21-year-old woman thought a sober guy who invited her to his town would at least make sure she got home safely after the last bus left.

Instead she found herself stranded at midnight, forced to pay $50 for an Uber while he walked away because he was “too tired” after a six-hour shift. The real sting came when he didn’t even wait ten minutes for the car to arrive.

‘WIBTA If I Broke Things Off With A Guy Because He Wouldn’t Drive Me Home?’

The situation started out normally enough with a fifth date planned across towns.

I(21F) have been going out with a guy (23M) for two months or so. We've been on maybe 4 or 5 dates. He lives in the town over from me....

We made plans on Tuesday to go to this bar with mini golf in his town. He said we could meet at 7, but that he couldn't pick me up...

His town is about a 30 minute drive from mine, and that was fine, and I made arrangements to take the bus. Note that I've never been to this part...

The evening went well until it was time to leave.

Anyways, I take 2 buses and get there around 7:15, and we have fun. I drink a bit, and he doesn't drink. I feel like this is important to mention...

Around 11 we decide to wrap things up, and he says goodnight and that we'll plan something later. I, confused, asked if he was driving me home. He said no,...

With no other options, she booked an expensive ride and he left her waiting alone.

I tell him that, that the buses aren't running anymore and he sort of just shrugs it off. I asked him why didn't drink then, and he said he just...

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The only option I had left was an Uber, so I tell him I'll take an Uber. The issue with the Uber is that the price was quite high and...

He says okay and leaves after saying goodnight, which I felt was another red flag - we were in a public plaza kind of area, and I felt quite unsafe...

Luckily the rest of the night passed without incident, except me being like 50 dollars poorer from the Uber. I've been thinking about it and I just felt very uncared...

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Refusing to drop me off, and not really caring about how I got home, and then just letting me wait all alone for the Uber for 10 minutes in what...

She later clarified common questions in an edit.

ETA: To answer some questions I'm seeing pop up: I did not know the buses would not be running this late. The buses around my town run until 12 am,...

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If I had known the buses between towns end at 10 pm, I would have ended the date earlier and gone home. I assumed he was going to drive me...

3a) I am not taking advantage of him as I have also paid for dates. If I had a car I would have no problem driving to him. I was...

The core issue is mismatched expectations and a sudden lack of basic care in early dating. She assumed (reasonably, based on past dates) that a sober driver would get her home safely. He saw no obligation once the date ended.

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Her disappointment stems from feeling disposable rather than just the logistics. His shrug and quick exit signaled indifference to her safety at two months in, which erodes trust fast.

Relationship coach Matthew Hussey points out, “Someone who truly likes you will move mountains to make sure you feel safe; indifference this early is the clearest sign of how little you actually matter to them.” (Hussey, 2022) Walking away without waiting ten minutes for an Uber confirms that indifference.

Moving forward, spell out transportation plans explicitly before heading to another town. More importantly, treat any moment someone shows they won’t prioritize your basic safety as the final data point you need. Ending things now is not overreacting; it’s protecting yourself from investing more in someone who already demonstrated he won’t show up when it counts.

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Let’s Dive Into The Reactions From Reddit:

The social media response was swift and almost completely united in telling her to walk away without guilt.

Nearly everyone focused on the safety red flag of him leaving her alone at midnight.

[Reddit User] − I was at a show a few weeks ago and a group of girls I had just met like, 20 minutes prior all waited for my uber...

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Outside_You1051 − He doesn’t like you & he doesn’t care about you AT ALL!

Constant-Summer-7477 − Wow! A whole six hour shift. Seriously, that's part time!

Content_Print_6521 − Not only would I not see him, I wouldn't even talk to him. What an ass.

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Jantares99 − He was tired from a 6 hour shift? Omg! He showed you exactly who he is. Please believe him. NTA, unless you go out with him again!

windypine69 − You can dump any guy for any reason, but if a man doesn't look out for my safety I'm out.

Several emphasized that waiting for the Uber was bare-minimum decency.

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ScaredCaterpillar136 − NTA. The fact that he did not care to wait for you to get into the uber safely is the dagger. I would advise, if you are depending...

chrmart − NTA. If I’m unfamiliar with a town, my supposed date didn’t drink, and the busses didn’t run anymore, I understand that there’s Uber and I’d even be willing...

Even when I drive my friends home, I don’t drive away until they’re inside the house with the door closed. I also go pick up my friends from a bar,...

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and I don’t want them to take Ubers for safety reasons. But that’s just me. But if I were in your shoes, no, no I would not be sticking around.

IllustriousProcess23 − NTA - it’s not his obligation to drive you home and this should have been discussed beforehand. That being said, that would have been the decent thing to...

but it’s bare minimum to wait around and make sure you were not alone at night. At the end of the day, it doesn’t seem like he cares and it...

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ColdReference54 − I can get if he's really tired and can't make the drive, but leaving before your Uber even shows up? That's pretty extreme. Yah stop seeing him and...

Two months in is exactly when the mask starts to slip. One late-night shrug showed this woman how little effort he was willing to give when she actually needed help.The takeaway is clear: anyone can be charming for a few hours on a date, but real care shows up in the moments that are inconvenient. Walking away from indifference this early saves years of disappointment later.

Would you end things over one incident like this, or give him another chance with clearer communication first? Where’s your personal line when it comes to basic safety on dates?

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