WIBTA if I asked my fiancée why he didn’t get the ring I wanted?

Jonathan Hours
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The moment should’ve sparkled: a proposal, a ring, a promise of forever. Instead, she stood staring at a homemade ring, rhinestones dangling by a thread of superglue, wondering if her fiancé missed the memo on her $149 dream ring. It wasn’t about the money—her heart just sank at the thought that her choice didn’t seem to matter. In a world of glittering proposals, this ring, crumbling under water’s touch, felt like a shaky start.

Weddings are built on shared dreams, but what happens when one partner’s effort misses the mark? This bride-to-be, caught between gratitude for her fiancé’s DIY gesture and frustration over its impracticality, turned to Reddit for clarity. Her story of rhinestones and mismatched expectations struck a chord, raising questions about love, listening, and the weight of a ring. Is she wrong to want answers?

‘WIBTA if I asked my fiancée why he didn’t get the ring I wanted?’

The woman poured her heart out on Reddit, seeking advice on navigating this delicate engagement hiccup. Here’s her story in her own words:

My fiancée and I looked at a lot of rings. I don’t like traditional rings and I picked out a ring with a different stone, not a diamond that was priced at $149. This is NOT a money issue. He has a great job and makes plenty of money or I wouldn’t ask him at all. The thing is - he didn’t get me that ring. He made one himself.

I do love that he spent time making this ring, BUT the little rhinestones keep falling off (they’re superglued on) and he has to repair it. It isn’t made of metal, so I can’t get it wet and I’m super paranoid about breaking the big stone. It just kind of makes me feel like I wasn’t even worth $150 out of one paycheck.

I’ve seen ring posts on here where the woman wants something outrageous, but I wasn’t asking for much I don’t think. I don’t wear my ring all the time simply because it breaks and the stones fall out it definitely will not last.

So, WIBTA if I asked him what happened to the one we talked about and picked out together? I probably don’t need to mention it, but I have been wondering about it and feeling like maybe the engagement wasn’t as important to him as I thought?

A ring is more than jewelry—it’s a symbol of commitment, and this couple’s disconnect reveals a communication gap. The fiancé’s homemade ring, while heartfelt, ignored her clear preference, leaving her feeling undervalued. Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages, says, “Love is about meeting your partner’s needs, not just expressing your own” (source). The fiancé’s DIY effort, though creative, missed her desire for practicality and shared decision-making.

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This reflects a broader issue: misaligned expectations in relationships. A 2022 survey found 68% of couples argue over wedding planning due to unmet expectations (WeddingWire). The fiancé’s choice to craft a fragile ring suggests a focus on his vision over hers, risking trust. Her hesitation to confront him highlights a fear of conflict, common in engaged couples.

She could approach this gently: “I love that you made the ring, but it’s fragile. Can we talk about getting the one I picked?” Resources like The Knot offer communication tips for couples. If patterns persist, premarital counseling could align their expectations.

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Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit users didn’t hold back, tossing out opinions with the zest of a jeweler sizing a ring. Here’s what they had to say about this sparkly fiasco:

nannylive − NAH, yet. For now, put the ring he made away for safekeeping. Tell him that it has sentimental value because he made it for your engagement, but it has proved too fragile for daily wear, and that you would appreciate having a sturdy, more traditional ring as a symbol of his love for daily wear.

Although you showed him an example you liked, he could have been confused and overdid the quirky funk when you said you didn't want a traditional ring.. If he can't understand this, he is maybe the A.

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deadlyhausfrau − NTA- he made you a ring with RHINESTONES that isn't even METAL? What on earth is it made of, silicone? Can we get pics?

widefeetwelcome − Are you sure it wasn’t a joke? I’m picturing some weird nonmetal ring with rhinestones glued on and I genuinely can’t imagine anyone seriously thinking that’s going to work. In any case, NTA. What he gave you isn’t practical and sounds barely wearable.

ArtemistheFartimus − NTA. What the heck? $150 is super cheap for a quality ring. Very affordable. And he counters by giving you a cheap homemade job?

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'Will you marry me, OP? This ring is a token of our love, proving to you that not only will I not listen to the things you tell me, but I will take the cheapest road possible, even if that leads to us breaking down on the side of the road in Omaha, digging through the car for bus fare. So please OP, will you join me on the road to ineptitude?'

If it was me, I would nope right out of this relationship. It would be one thing if he worked with metals, but giving you a piece of crap that you can't get wet and needs constant repair? Sounds like he gifted you a sick Gremlin.

sthetic − Wow, what a ride. Here's what I was thinking at each turn.. I picked out a ring with a different stone, not a diamond. Oh no, did he buy her a diamond, but she thinks they're generic or unethical? NTA.. that was priced at $149.. Oh no, did he splurge $10,000 on a ring and she's afraid to wear it? NTA.. He made one himself.

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Uh oh, is OP actually an a**hole who doesn't appreciate her artistic fiancé's hard work and wants a name brand ring?. BUT the little rhinestones keep falling off (they’re superglued on). Wait, WHAT???

Poodlegal18 − NTA. You don’t want a ring that falls apart. But side note - a few weeks ago a man posted on here asking if it would be ok if he made his fiancé a ring instead of buying her one. Maybe that was him?

WanderingWedding − NTA wtf. Super glued, metal, falling apart ring? To symbolize eternity and your relationship?! $150 is nothing and he should’ve happily gotten you that ring. The ring he “made” doesn’t sound sustainable.

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Jackniferuby − It’s one thing to receive a homemade gift. It another when he obviously has NO idea how to make jewelry and GLUED you a ring together. Tell him that while you appreciate the gesture - the ring will not work and is falling apart. Then ask if you could have the ring you wanted or go buy it yourself.

828Ashby828 − NTA. Your ring can’t get wet? Items are super glued? What the hell? Safe bet, he doesn’t think this relationship is going to go the long-haul.

[Reddit User] − Oh my G. NTA at all. You discussed rings. Your fiancé knew which one you liked. The one he ‘made’ sounds like a cheap-ass flimsy cop-out. What is it made of if it’s not metal? Wood? Papier maché?

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These takes are as bold as a neon gemstone, but do they polish the truth or just add more glitter to the drama?

This tale of a crumbling ring and unspoken questions reminds us that love thrives on listening, not just effort. Her fiancé’s DIY heart was in the right place, but missing her choice left her doubting. A ring should bind a couple, not spark worry. Have you ever faced a partner’s gesture that missed the mark? Share your thoughts below—how would you navigate this sparkly stumble?

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