WIBTA if I asked a friend not to share their good news in front of my son?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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Imagine a backyard barbecue, laughter mingling with the scent of grilled food, but one boy sits quietly, unable to join the ice cream frenzy due to a strict low-carb diet. His parents, protective and aching for his happiness, face a delicate dilemma: their friends’ son, once bound by the same diet, can now savor donuts and candy. The parents dread their son learning this, fearing it’ll deepen his sense of isolation.

This isn’t just about food—it’s about shielding a child’s heart from envy while celebrating a friend’s joy. The parents’ instinct to protect clashes with the risk of seeming ungracious. Readers feel the sting of their son’s loneliness, wondering how to balance sensitivity with honesty in a world where kids compare and contrast their struggles.

‘WIBTA if I asked a friend not to share their good news in front of my son?’

My wife and I have a son who, due to a medical condition, is on an extemely strict low carb diet. He generally does well but at times he feels really lonely and jealous of others (especially when we're out and other kids have ice cream etc.).

He's also just starting to get to an age where he feels self concious and worries people will think he's weird because of his food restrictions. A year or so ago My wife and I were able to connect with another couple who also have a son (similar age) with the same condition and diet.

This connection helped my son immensely as he felt so much better not being alone with his restrictions. Recently, their son was able to find a medication that allowed him to come off the diet. This is not an option right now for our son.

They are understandably estatic for their son and have been sending us all kinds of pictures of him eating doughnuts, candy, etc. We have responded very positively to them and expressed our shared happiness for them BUT we have not told our son as we fear this would make him feel really alone and down on himself for still having to deal with the restrictions.

They are kind people but somewhat tone deaf and sometimes accidentally say some really insensitive things (for example when we got pregnant, they said 'omg are you afraid your next baby might have thr same problems?! We would never risk having a second child!'.

They have been trying to get together with us and keep pushing for it to be around a mealtime, which ive been avoiding for fear that they might have their son eating something really carb heavy (likely thinking that would make us happy to see him be able to eat that way)

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or might say something tone deaf about our son having to be on the diet still and it would make our son feel really bad. The reality is, if they dont mention it and dont feed their son something really carb obvious (like pizza, cake, etc.) Our son probably wouldnt even notice and it would be a non issue.

WIBTA if i asked them ahead of time to please not mention their son getting off the diet while we are together and to feed him something not super in our face carb loaded? I dont want them to think we are not happy for them or that im policing their behavior, but i also know that my son goes through enough that protecting this information from him is important right now.

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Navigating a child’s medical restrictions in social settings is like walking a tightrope—one misstep can hurt. The parents’ urge to shield their son from news of his friend’s dietary freedom is understandable, but it risks delaying an inevitable lesson in resilience. The friends’ excitement, while tone-deaf at times, isn’t malicious, highlighting a common clash between celebration and sensitivity.

Chronic illness in children affects over 25% of U.S. families, often leading to social isolation, per a 2022 study by the National Institutes of Health (NIH). The parents’ fear of their son feeling “weird” reflects a real challenge: helping kids cope with differences. The friends’ insensitive comments, like questioning a second child, underscore the need for tact.

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Pediatric psychologist Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart advises, “Teaching children to process envy while celebrating others’ successes builds emotional strength” (Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart). Here, gently explaining the friend’s situation to the son, perhaps with a therapist’s guidance, could foster empathy over jealousy. Asking the friends to avoid overt carb-heavy displays during meetups is reasonable, but long-term, the son needs tools to handle such differences.

The parents could request a non-mealtime meetup and privately explain their concerns, emphasizing shared joy but highlighting their son’s sensitivity. This balances kindness with honesty.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit swooped in with a mix of empathy and tough love, weighing the parents’ protective instincts against the need for honesty. Here’s the unfiltered take from the crowd:

TwoTinders − NAH, **for a one-time exception**, while you figure out how to adjust... but you're going to have to tell your son eventually. YWBTA if you ask them to *continue* to hide it whenever they want to spend time with you.

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You could ask them to still avoid things that might count as 'in your face,' but you need to prepare your son for that possibility. Ask your doctor (and these friends) if there are any relevant support groups or places you could find others with similarly restrictive diets.

graywisteria − Info - how old is your son? If he's very young it's fine to ask, but if he's getting a bit older, this is a time to teach him that it's possible to be a supportive friend and be happy for others even when you're suffering.

emelie-jane − NAH. They're obviously ecstatic about the improvement in their son's condition and want to share the news with their friends. You are looking out for your son's mental health and a friendly request to keep the news from your son for the time being shouldn't be an issue.

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saviour__self − NAH but you should figure out a way to tell this news to your son. This could end up being a great personal and social learning experience for your child. He should be able to grow learning to accept and to be happy towards other people’s progresses and successes.

Envy is natural but he also will have to learn how to live with many emotions. While he may continue feeling lonely with his condition he still has a chance at remaining good friends with another kid who understands where your son is coming from and be able to have a friendship based on something other than just diet alone.

He’s made a friend and that doesn’t have to change because the other child can eat donuts now. So go ahead and let your friends know how you feel and ask them to give you some time to chat with your son, and maybe ask them to talk to their kid about staying humble in the friendship.

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waterbuffalo750 − This is a tough one, but YTA. You need to tell your son eventually. Your idea seems like a short term solution to a long term problem.

DonMegaTho − INFO, why can't your son be on this same medication?

[Reddit User] − I’m gonna say YTA (But your hearts in the right place) because you can’t just hide this forever, especially if both of the kids are friends. You need to sit down with your son and explain this to him, and he’ll still have a friend who knows what he’s going through and will be able to support him.

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Sometimes life ain’t fair - one kid is able to control his condition and another isn’t. It happens. On a side note, there are a lot of recipes out there for low carb treats. They’re not like good for you,

but if your son is upset others get to eat treats and junk foods around him, why don’t you try making some of those for him? Obviously they’d likely still need to be in moderation but it’s an option for him when others get to eat carb heavy stuff.

[Reddit User] − YTA - its not about them, its about your son to learn how to deal with it in life.He needs to understand, to accept and to learn how to deal with his problems and dont blame others.People wont look at him in a bad way if he has health issues, but they will def avoid him if he is ass about that.Thing is dont isolate him.

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Teach him about it so he can understand and properly live with it.Example for me is that i had some issues with knees, and when i go to gym i dont tell people: dont do leg workout in front of me.I adjust weight and adjust it so it fits me.Thats the proper way for dealing with problems.

e30Devil − NAH. But you are a lawnmower parent, mowing down obstacles that your child will eventually have to learn skills to cope with.

uce724 − You're not an AH just for asking, hopefully they'd be sensitive to your son's feelings. They're just excited for their kid; they might be a little tone deaf, but it seems unintentional. So NAH. Seems like the easiest thing to do might be to insist on the meet-up not taking place at mealtime?

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These Redditors split on whether shielding the son is wise or delaying the inevitable, but all agree it’s a tough spot. Are their suggestions practical, or do they oversimplify a parent’s heart? This debate’s got everyone thinking about kids and tough truths.

This story of dietary restrictions and guarded good news underscores the tightrope parents walk to protect their kids while fostering resilience. The parents’ wish to shield their son is pure love, but Reddit’s mixed takes suggest honesty might serve him better long-term. How would you balance a child’s feelings with a friend’s milestone? Share your thoughts and experiences below.

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