WIBTA if I ask a child psychologist to stop giving me parenting advice?

Charlotte Morse Hours
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Playdates were supposed to be fun, but for one Reddit user, they’ve become a masterclass in unsolicited parenting critiques. Their son’s friend’s mom, a child psychologist fresh off publishing a parenting book, dishes out advice like it’s her job—from nixing chicken nuggets to critiquing how the user comforts their kid after a bike tumble. What started as mild suggestions has morphed into a barrage of know-it-all commentary, leaving the user itching to draw a line.

Friends gasp at the idea of shutting her down, insisting the psychologist’s just helping, but the user’s patience is wearing thin. This tale of expertise gone overboard pulls us into a relatable clash over boundaries, parenting, and the perils of unsolicited advice.

‘WIBTA if I ask a child psychologist to stop giving me parenting advice?’

My son made friends with another kid at school whose parent is a child psychologist that just wrote a book on parenting.. Now whenever we’re together watching the kids she’ll what started as little things: “You know you’d be better to not let him watch that show”

“You know that book could cause regression in his grammar.” “You don’t have a dedicated study station?” The kind of things you hear all the time as a parent and I sort of let roll off my back. But lately she’d been escalating to critiquing specific incidents of how I parent e.g., my son falls off his bike and I reassure him.

“You know, next time you might want to try just putting on a sunny disposition and acting as though nothing is wrong. You don’t want to facilitate a pattern of—“ on and on. It began to be like because she wrote the one book she was the end all be all expert on parenting

and she’d start criticizing things that had nothing to do with her book, like diet. “Oh you give your son those? We don’t do chicken nuggets in our house. You should check the ingredients. Those are some big ingredients for little tummies.“ etc. I really want to tell her to cool it.

But whenever I complain to others about the situation they seem flabbergast I’d think to say anything. “That’s rude. She’s just trying to help.” Or “How would you feel if you offered advice on your area of speciality and the person was like ‘don’t give me advice’”?. I’m very irritated but don’t want to be ungrateful or rude. WIBTA?

This parenting advice saga is a textbook case of blurred boundaries. The psychologist’s credentials and book give her confidence, but her unsolicited critiques overstep, turning friendly meetups into judgment zones. The user’s irritation is valid—nobody likes their parenting dissected uninvited.

Unsolicited advice is a common trigger—55% of parents report feeling judged by others’ tips, per a 2024 Pew Research survey. Dr. Ellen Braaten, a child psychologist, notes, “Experts can fall into a trap of overapplying their knowledge, alienating others” (source: Psychology Today, 2022). The psychologist’s escalation to specific incidents suggests a lack of self-awareness.

The user’s hesitation reflects social pressure to accept “help,” but boundaries are crucial. A polite but firm request to ease up could preserve the friendship while halting the critique. Braaten’s insight suggests professionals must respect others’ autonomy, especially in personal realms like parenting.

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The user could try a light-hearted deflection, like joking about buying the book for tips, or a direct chat framing it as a friendship issue. Discussing feelings with their partner could solidify their approach. This story underscores how expertise can strain ties without mutual respect.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit users overwhelmingly backed the user, saying they wouldn’t be the asshole for asking the psychologist to stop. They called her advice intrusive and pompous, arguing expertise doesn’t justify unsolicited critiques. Many suggested witty comebacks, like booking an appointment for advice, to highlight her overreach.

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Fayebie17 - NTA. “Hey Gertie, I appreciate this is an occupational hazard for you but I feel like you’ve been analysing my parenting a lot lately. I don’t want to feel like I’m being scrutinised or have this interfere with our friendship - any chance you could cool it with the shop talk a bit?”

earthweed_nfire - NTA just jokingly say if you wanted advice you’d buy their book. Honestly I’m surprised other parents aren’t backing you, normally they hate getting unsolicited advice. I know I’d have a problem with it no matter their degree/status/experience.

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WriterInIron - NTA. Just being a person with expertise does not mean that you're right in every situation. That's why people see different therapists and child psychologists. Your child is your own responsibility and her having some knowledge doesn't mean that she's got the right to tell you how to parent, or even that she is correct in this particular instance.

babygirlr19 - NTA- is this mom actually a child psychologist? She sounds like a crazy Pinterest mom (Imo as a psych major lol)

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Charles_Chuckles - “You know that book could cause regression in his grammar.” As a teacher of a second language, person certified to teach English Language Leaners and someone who is interested in Language Acquisition,

I am not sure if 'regression in grammar' is even a thing that can happen with your native language unless you have a second language you use a lot more often. Maybe he will speak less 'Standard English' but I'm sure it wouldn't be permanent

and would be easily corrected anyway. Also there's something to be said about how being a perscriptivist grammarian to your child is damaging anyway, but that's another conversation for another day.

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[Reddit User] - NTA. I hate when people give unsolicited advice, especially about my kid. And you know what? Her kid definitely eats chicken nuggets. She’s just a holier than thou person who thinks she’s better than everyone else.

LisaW481 - INFO how is their book selling? Personally I'd buy their book and read it so i could parrot their own parenting back at them because i guarantee they don't love what they preach.

Roobois1 - NTA She sounds hugely annoying. If there was only one correct way to parent, child psychologists and experts wouldn't all write books with differing advice.

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avalonwitches - NTA. Unsolicited advice of any kind is s**tty, but parenting advice is among the worst. She sounds like a judgy know-it-all, and you definitely should stand up for yourself and tell her to keep her thoughts to herself. After all, she's failing at the most basic parenting advice: if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

Wereallgonnadieman - NO. Tell her when you want her opinion on parenting you'll make an appointment. Nobody wants to hear anyone criticizing their parenting. She's out of line. YWNBTA.

I wouldn't even want to stay friends with someone like that. Her profession doesn't give her carte blanche to boundary stomp. If she was a gyno and commenting on your body unsolicited you'd be rightfully offended, and this is no different.

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Some questioned the psychologist’s credentials, suspecting she’s inflating her authority, while others urged the user to set boundaries firmly to protect their peace. The consensus was that parenting is personal, and her judgments were out of line, regardless of her book.

This advice overload tale shows how expertise can sour friendships when boundaries blur. The user’s urge to push back on the psychologist’s parenting tips is a stand for autonomy in a world of know-it-alls. Whether you’ve faced unsolicited advice or struggled to shut down a critic, this story resonates. Have you ever had to fend off overzealous advice from an “expert” friend? Share your thoughts below!

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