WIBTA if i abandoned my child?

A 37-year-old man is now at the center of a deeply contentious family dispute after discovering via a paternity test that his 9-year-old daughter is not biologically his. Married for 10 years to his 39-year-old wife, he had always assumed that the daughter they raised together was his. However, following a bitter fight in which his wife made a hurtful comment suggesting the child might not be his, he sought a paternity test—and the results confirmed his worst fears.

In response, he decided that he would no longer remain in the picture for the child, refusing both emotional and financial responsibility, and even considering severing ties completely. His decision has sparked a heated debate among family members and online communities about the meaning of fatherhood and whether abandoning a child—despite not being her biological father—is justified.

Family psychologists and legal experts emphasize that the question of parental responsibility goes far beyond biology. Dr. Laura Jennings, a family psychologist, explains, “Being a parent is not defined solely by genetic ties but by the commitment, care, and consistent involvement in a child’s life. In many cases, children form deep bonds with the person who has raised them, regardless of biological connection.”

Dr. Jennings continues, “When a parent discovers that they are not the biological father, the emotional fallout can be immense. However, it’s important to consider the long-term impact on the child. Abandoning a child who has known you as a father for nearly a decade can be devastating to her emotional well-being. Even if the man feels betrayed by his wife’s actions, the established parent-child relationship carries significant weight.”

Legal consultant Sarah Thompson adds, “In many jurisdictions, the law recognizes that the role of a parent isn’t solely determined by genetics. Courts often consider the ‘best interests of the child’ when deciding on custody and support matters. Even if one party insists on severing ties, they may still be legally obligated to provide support if they have acted as a parent.”

Both experts agree that while the man’s feelings of betrayal are understandable, completely abandoning a child who has relied on him for years could have severe emotional and legal consequences.

The Reddit community is sharply divided on this issue. Many commenters express sympathy for the man’s sense of betrayal and stress that if his wife misled him, his reaction to divorce might be justified. However, when it comes to his daughter, the prevailing sentiment is one of outrage and heartbreak. One user remarked, “You may not be her biological father, but you’ve been her dad all these years—cutting her out completely is unforgivable.”

Others point out that the emotional bond built over nine years is profound, and abandoning her would cause lasting harm. Several users emphasize that while divorce might be warranted due to the betrayal, abandoning a child who has come to rely on him is a step too far, with many warning that it could lead to legal repercussions regarding child support and custody.

In conclusion, this case raises profound ethical and emotional questions about the nature of fatherhood and the responsibilities that come with it. While the man’s discovery of his lack of biological connection to his daughter has understandably left him feeling betrayed by his wife, many argue that the bond he built over nine years as her father should not be so easily discarded. The debate centers on whether a parent’s role is defined by genetics or by the emotional and financial commitments made over the years.

What do you think—can a parent choose to abandon a child even if the biological link is absent, or is the established relationship the most important factor? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below and join the discussion on the true meaning of fatherhood.