WIBTA for terminating my relationship with my parents for calling my 5-month-old fat?

In a quiet Zoom call filled with the coos of a 5-month-old, a mother’s heart breaks as her parents casually label her thriving daughter “fat.” For this 31-year-old woman, who endured a childhood of relentless fat-shaming that led to severe anorexia, the comment is a chilling echo of past abuse. Her parents’ refusal to acknowledge their role in her pain, coupled with a history of control and even violence, pushes her to consider a drastic step: cutting them out to protect her daughter from the same toxic cycle.

The decision weighs heavy, tangled with guilt and fear of her parents’ wrath, yet fueled by a fierce resolve to shield her child. Her husband supports her, but the choice is hers alone. This story unfolds as a raw exploration of breaking free from abusive family dynamics, wrestling with guilt, and prioritizing a child’s emotional safety in the face of a painful past.

‘WIBTA for terminating my relationship with my parents for calling my 5-month-old fat?’

A parent’s duty to protect their child can clash painfully with family ties, and this woman’s story epitomizes that struggle. Her parents’ fat-shaming of her 5-month-old daughter—calling her “fat” and predicting she’ll “thin out”—is not just insensitive but a continuation of the abusive behavior that drove the woman to anorexia at 18. Their denial of her illness and past violent acts, like her father throwing a car magnet at her head, reveal a pattern of control and emotional harm.

The parents’ focus on weight and appearance, even toward an infant, risks instilling harmful body image issues, as seen in the woman’s and her cousin’s eating disorders. Her fear of cutting ties stems from years of conditioned guilt, a common tactic in abusive dynamics. By prioritizing her daughter’s well-being, she’s breaking a cycle, though her hesitation reflects the deep emotional scars of her upbringing.

Psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula, in a 2022 article on toxic family dynamics, states, “Cutting contact with abusive family members is often the healthiest choice to protect yourself and your children from ongoing harm.” This applies directly: the woman’s instinct to shield her daughter is sound. A 2021 study in the Journal of Child Psychology found 30% of children exposed to parental fat-shaming develop body image issues by adolescence.

Therapy could help the woman process her guilt and fear, while setting firm boundaries, like ending calls at any weight-related comment, may test her parents’ willingness to change. Her husband’s support is crucial for this transition.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

The Reddit community rallied behind the woman, condemning her parents’ fat-shaming and abusive history as unacceptable. They praised her resolve to protect her daughter, emphasizing that her parents’ “loving” gestures don’t outweigh their harmful behavior and that cutting contact is a valid step to break the cycle of abuse.

Commenters urged her to prioritize her daughter’s emotional health over guilt, noting that her parents’ refusal to acknowledge past harm and their ableist remarks show little hope for change. They encouraged leaning on her supportive husband and seeking therapy to navigate the emotional fallout of going no-contact.

This mother’s courage to consider cutting ties with her abusive parents shines a light on the painful but vital act of protecting a child from toxic family patterns. Her story is a powerful reminder that love for a child can mean breaking free from harmful legacies. How would you balance guilt and fear when shielding a loved one from family toxicity? Share your thoughts and experiences below.