WIBTA for telling my sister she’s cut off if she gets pregnant?

In a quiet suburban home, tension simmers like a pot left too long on the stove. A 24-year-old woman, once thrust into motherhood for her nephew, faces a dilemma that tugs at her heartstrings. Her 19-year-old sister, barely present for her own son, flippantly declares she’ll “make another” child, as if babies were as replaceable as misplaced keys. The weight of past sacrifices—college on hold, legal battles for guardianship—hangs heavy, stirring a mix of protectiveness and frustration.

Readers can’t help but feel the sting of this family’s struggle. The older sister’s love for her nephew clashes with her sister’s carefree attitude, raising a question that echoes beyond their home: where do you draw the line when family keeps asking for more? This Reddit tale unravels a story of loyalty, boundaries, and the messy ties that bind.

‘WIBTA for telling my sister she’s cut off if she gets pregnant?’

My (24f) little sister (19f) has a baby when she was very young. She turned 15, and gave birth three weeks later. I tried talking to her about adoption, as I knew her home situation, but she wasn’t interested and I let it go. To make a very long story short, I got a call from my mom when my nephew was 9 months old, and she said if I didn’t come get my nephew, CPS was going to take him away.

So of course, I did. I was 20 and in college at the time, living with my now-husband and his mother. I put my life on hold and got my sister to grant me legal guardianship *the day before* she ran away and disappeared. (If I hadn’t gotten guardianship, my nephew would have been taken from me and placed into the system).

I was his “mother” and main caretaker up until shortly before he turned 3.Just before his third birthday, he went back to live with my mom and sister. My mother turned her life around: started a business, enrolled into addiction programs, got her own place and just generally doing very well.

My sister... not as much. She isn’t a bad kid, she just doesn’t have any drive. She isn’t involved with her son and doesn’t have a job. As my husband put it, she is a taker. She never thanks anyone for everything they do for her. For some context about her as a mother: she sleeps until 5 pm many days.

She once was home alone with him and decided to make lunch, then she fell asleep with the food still on the stove and it caught fire (my mom just so happened to get back home in time to control the situation). Before Christmas, she was alone with him and he was unsupervised long enough to open *every single* Christmas present and take them out of the boxes,

and my sister didn’t even know he was in the house with her, despite my mom telling her. Recently, my sister has been talking about moving out of my mother’s house and in a new place with her boyfriend once he gets out of jail in March. My mom has agreed to pay for her deposit and first month’s rent *as long as* they both have steady jobs.

I can’t see it going well, but that isn’t really my business. However, when my sister mentioned taking my nephew with her, my mother shut it down fast. In response to my mom telling her that my nephew would be staying where he is, my sister responded, “That’s okay. I’ll just make another one.”

I just can’t handle that. My nephew is already being raised by everyone but her. The massive stress of taking him in and getting all the legalities worked out was something I wouldn’t wish on anyone. I know she still isn’t ready to be a mother and I don’t see that changing in the time it would take for her to have another one.

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WIBTA if I told her that I will not help bail her out again if she gets pregnant? I’m very torn, because her faults aren’t her children’s fault. Also, my family has said I’m being a bit harsh about something that hasn’t even happened yet.

Family dynamics can feel like navigating a minefield, especially when responsibility falls unevenly. The older sister’s frustration is palpable—she’s been the safety net for a nephew caught in her sister’s chaos. The younger sister’s casual remark about having another child highlights a deeper issue: a lack of accountability. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes, “Healthy boundaries are essential for trust and respect in families” (Gottman Institute). Here, the older sister’s instinct to set limits reflects a need to protect both herself and her nephew.

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The younger sister’s behavior—sleeping through supervision, ignoring her son’s needs—suggests a pattern of avoidance. From one angle, she’s a young woman struggling to grow up; from another, her negligence risks harm. The older sister’s guardianship saved her nephew once, but repeating that sacrifice could enable irresponsibility. This tension mirrors a broader societal issue: 1 in 5 teen mothers in the U.S. have a second child within two years, often straining family support systems (CDC).

Dr. Gottman’s advice on boundaries applies directly: clear communication prevents resentment. The older sister could calmly state her limits, emphasizing love for her nephew but refusing to shoulder another burden. This approach balances compassion with self-preservation, avoiding a cycle of dependency.

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For solutions, open dialogue is key. The family could explore counseling to address the younger sister’s lack of drive, perhaps uncovering underlying issues like depression. Community resources, like parenting classes, could empower her to step up. The older sister should stand firm, offering emotional support but not endless rescues.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit’s hive mind didn’t hold back, serving up a mix of empathy and tough love. Here’s a peek at the community’s candid takes:

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Heero_Zero − NTA.. Also, my family has said I’m being a bit harsh about something that hasn’t even happened yet. You can't undo a baby once it happens. Right NOW is the time to be harsh, to make it clear the familial consequences should she get pregnant again with a baby she can't and won't take care of. She doesn't get to ignore the baby and drop it off with family to raise. She is CUT THE F**K OFF! That needs to be made abundantly clear to her before she gets pregnant.

RichardBachman19 − her boyfriend once he gets out of jail in March. I feel like this part was glossed over. Anyway, NTA

VioletTurner26 − NTA - this is horrible to read but I believe you've done the right thing so far by you and your nephew. He's very lucky to have you. Her response sounds like she's not that bothered about her little boy, and (even though I'm not totally up to speed with the CPS and their processes) They would be on her like a moth to a flame.

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dc0815 − NTA - shes an adult that seems to act like a child. Before when she got pregnant, she really was a child. It is a sad situation as the child may suffer but you did what you needed to do before and its out of your hands. Hopefully someday she'll realize how much help you really are/were.

amberlikesowls − NTA I feel do bad for your nephew.

CalvinBallxyz − NTA. This is a very sad story. But you can absolutely make it clear that you will not be stepping in to rescue another child. You can't control what she chooses to do, but you can insulate yourself from enduring the consequences.

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[Reddit User] − I remember when I was younger, my mum and I had a conversation where we both agreed that people should have to pass a test and get a 'parent licence' before they get to have kids. Obviously, it's not workable in real life for various reasons, but when I read posts like this one, I really really wish there was a way to have such a system in place, in a fair manner, and I'm sad to know it's impossible.. NTA

EllyseAnn − NTA. These types of family situations are really tough, while he isn’t your responsibility your nephew is your family and you ultimately want what’s best with him. I get the feeling even if you tell her you won’t bail her out in a similar situation, she won’t care. Likely because your mom will bail her out.

Garden-Diva − I’m surprised you took on the first child and raised him while in school. Kudos for you. However had he gone into foster care he might have been successfully adopted to better parents if your sister didn’t get her s**t together.

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You have to decide how much contact with your trashy family you want. You obviously are far better than them and can now make your own family by friends and coworkers. I suggest you do that and limit your contact with your family.

Dogzillas_Mom − NTA, but just stay out of it now. You've done more than enough. I think if you tell her you won't bail her out again, she will double down and intentionally get pregnant just to call your bluff. (Only you ain't bluffin'.) Don't give her the chance. Just make sure your mom knows.

I also think it's a terrible idea for mom to fund the apartment with the bf, but that probably gets her out of mom's house, so I can also understand paying Deadbeat Tax® just so at least one person in the family (the kid mom cares for) has a somewhat stable and loving home.

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These Reddit hot takes are fiery, but do they cut through the family fog? The consensus leans toward boundaries, but real life is rarely so black-and-white.

This tale of family loyalty and tough choices leaves us wondering: where’s the line between helping and enabling? The older sister’s heart aches for her nephew, yet her sister’s recklessness tests her limits. It’s a story that hits home for anyone juggling family duty with personal boundaries. What would you do if faced with a similar choice—step in again or stand your ground? Share your thoughts and experiences below; let’s unpack this messy, human drama together.

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