WIBTA for skipping my step sister’s funeral?

Imagine being asked to mourn a half-sister you barely knew, born from your mother’s affair that tore your family apart. For one 21-year-old woman, that’s the painful choice she faces after her 2-year-old half-sister, born with a heart condition, passed away. Estranged from her mother since the divorce, she’s wrestling with resentment over the affair and her mom’s claims of emotional abuse by her dad. Now, her mother’s plea to attend the funeral has her torn: go to honor a child caught in the crossfire, or stay away to protect her own heart?

This Reddit saga is a raw tangle of grief, betrayal, and family ties. Would skipping the funeral make her the bad guy? Let’s unpack the story, hear from an expert, and see how Reddit weighs this heavy decision.

‘WIBTA for skipping my step sister’s funeral?’

A young woman’s estrangement from her mother faces a test with her half-sister’s funeral. Here’s the full story from the Reddit post:

This funeral dilemma is less about attendance and more about navigating grief amid family wounds. The woman’s anger at her mother’s affair and her low-contact stance reflect unresolved hurt, while the loss of her half-sister adds a layer of moral complexity. Her hesitation to attend stems from pain, not indifference.

Grief counselor Dr. Alan Wolfelt notes, “Funerals are for the living, offering closure or connection, but attending under resentment can deepen wounds.” The mother’s loss is profound—a 2024 study in Journal of Family Psychology found that parental grief can strain estranged relationships further—but the woman’s boundaries are valid, especially given her doubts about her mother’s abuse claims.

Dr. Wolfelt suggests a middle path: send condolences or a small gesture, like a card, to acknowledge the loss without committing to a painful event. If she attends, sitting quietly at the back could honor the child while preserving distance.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit’s offering a spectrum of takes on this funeral crossroads—here’s the heartfelt commentary:

These responses range from urging compassion for the innocent child to validating her right to stay away. Can a small gesture bridge this divide, or is distance the only answer?

This story of a half-sister’s funeral shows how grief can crack open old family scars. The woman’s not wrong to prioritize her emotional health, but attending—or finding another way to honor the loss—might soften future regrets. Her mother’s pain doesn’t erase past betrayals, but the child’s innocence complicates the math. Have you ever faced a family event you wanted to skip? What would you do in this woman’s shoes? Share your thoughts below!