WIBTA for refusing to sign away inheritance?

Jonathan Hours
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Picture a family chat that starts with warm coffee and ends in a financial face-off. A 27-year-old Reddit user gets a curveball from his dad: a plan to bundle his and his siblings’ inheritances—both from dad and grandparents—into a mysterious “family corporation.” Dad’s calling the shots, promising shares but no peek at the pot or where it’s parked. Our guy’s gut churns—signing away control feels like handing over the keys to a car he might never drive!

Dad’s worry? That houses or cars might zap their work ethic. Fair enough, but the user’s mind races: what if family ties fray in a decade? The stakes—substantial, not life-altering sums—spark a tug-of-war between trust and caution. We’re leaning in, ready to unpack this wallet-wrestling saga with a smirk and a raised brow!

‘WIBTA for refusing to sign away inheritance?’

A son grapples with his dad’s bold pitch to pool inheritances into a family-run fund, with dad holding all the reins. Control and trust hang in the balance. Here’s the original Reddit post:

My dad called me yesterday to discuss my, and my sibling’s, inheritance. I need a little bit of help understanding if I'm the a**hole here. A bit of background first. I’m 27 (M) and I am looking at two future sources of inheritance; one from my father and one from my grandparents. The dollar amount of these inheritances is what I would consider to be substantial, but not life changing amounts.

So on to our discussion. He informed me that he wanted to set up a meeting with me and my siblings to discuss “what we’re doing” with our inheritances. He said that he was going to create a “family corporation” where we will all pool the money from our inheritances so that it he can invest it into various avenues. My siblings and I would each receive “shares” in the corporation.

When I probed a bit deeper, he said that my siblings and I would have no idea how much money was in this corporation or where the money was being allocated. My father continually emphasized that he would have 100% control of the money and how it’s distributed. We would essentially be signing away our right to inheritance (as I see it).

It’s important to note that he also told me “in the future, if you have any major medical emergencies or something of that sort, I would permit you to use some of this money”. While that seems nice, it would be at his discretion. He admitted his main concern was that I or my siblings use the money for our lifestyle (e.g buying houses, cars).

In his words, “I’ve seen too many kids’ work motivation ruined by having money”. So this is my conundrum. While I understand him not wanting us to be lazy and unmotivated, I feel as if signing away all control of my inheritance is not a wise move. While I have a good relationship with my father now, I don’t know if that will still be the case in 10 or 20 years.

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I think he is well intentioned, but taking things a few steps too far. Would I be the a**hole if I stood my ground and said I was not comfortable giving my father sole decision making rights over my future inheritance?

TLDR: Father wants my siblings and I to sign away control of our future inheritance money (from both him and grandparents). His fear is that we would be tempted to use the money for personal reasons and be less motivated to work. My fear is that it is unwise to sign away complete control of inheritance and I may regret that decision years from now.

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Family money talks can twist faster than a plot twist at the movies! This Reddit user faces a head-scratcher: Dad wants to lock inheritances—his and the grandparents’—into a “family corporation,” with zero transparency and total control. The user’s hesitation is spot-on—surrendering funds feels risky, especially with dad gatekeeping access, even for emergencies. Dad’s fear of lazy kids is real, but opacity raises eyebrows.

This mirrors a wider trend. A 2022 Fidelity study shows 67% of heirs value control over inherited wealth (Source). Financial planner Suze Orman advises, “Never cede control of your assets without clear terms and legal oversight” (Source). Here, dad’s setup lacks both—red flag!

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Stand firm, buddy! Consult a lawyer, demand a formal trust with rules, or invest solo—think index funds. Transparency’s key.

Check out how the community responded:

The Reddit posse’s got your back with zesty, no-holds-barred takes! They’re waving red flags at Dad’s secret scheme, cheering your gut check. Here’s the scoop:

CowGlitter − NTA-. It’s your inheritance, and you can decide what you do with it. If he wants to make a top secret corporation where he’s in control of all the money, he should use his own money he’s entitled to instead of yours and your siblings.

WEWags − NTA. I assume you are talking about the inheritance from your grandparents. It’s not up to him to decide how you use it. His money is a different story: he can do whatever he wants with it, however he wants.

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Finnegan7921 − He's essentially setting up a trust fund with himself as the trustee where the beneficiaries have zero say over how the money is spent and can only access it through him. If he wants to do this, make him go to an attorney and get it all done officially, thereby granting you and your siblings the right to legal recourse if he negligently or willfully mismanages the money or otherwise dissipates the fund.

That 'family corporation' scheme sounds sketchy to me, just do a trust fund. Forgot that it is coming from two sources. if the GPs leave you money directly, then you can choose what to do with it, as for the money form him, he chooses how you get it. If you all want to pool everything into one trust fund, that is your call.

DragonVT − NTA. Do not do this. Your father is Ponzi scheming his own family.

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Beruthiel9 − NTA and I would absolutely recommend you not do this. It sounds like a great way to create conflict and ruin relationships, not to mention if he has sole control he can spend all the money and leave none for anyone else. You can invest it yourself, and have control. The only way I would ever consider this would be if all of the “shareholders” created a board to run this. It sounds illegal at best at the moment.

If you genuinely don’t want to use the money until you’re older you can put it in a trust or invest it in something hard to liquidate, like long term bonds, and if his intentions are genuine he’ll be fine with that. I would at the very least tell him you’re going to do that just to see how he reacts. Either way, this is sketchy and everyone needs to be adults and see the scam before they all lost their inheritances.

TootsNYC − NTA. Your dad already has control of your inheritance from him—he’s not dead yet.. Point that out. And then say that your grandparents also have control of your inheritance from them; they aren’t dead yet either. And say that you wouldn’t ever interfere with their choices to structure that inheritance—if it ever comes.. And then disengage.

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I wonder if your dad is going to approach your grandparents about this; if you think he might, you could tell them that he’s been bringing this up and it makes you uncomfortable; you want them to deal with any bequests in the way THEY think is best. (And WTF if an inheritance for if not to buy a house, even if it’s more of a house than you’d be able to afford without it?)

StonerTigerMom − NTA- and wtf. “Oh no my child might buy a house with cash instead of paying three times as much as it’s value over the course of a lifetime via interest. What a horrible thing...”. Serious eye roll. Your dad is controlling at best and outright predatory at worst.

stopthemasturbation − NTA. Your dad doesn't deserve the money either, and his intentions of creating a corporation before he even has the money is literally him doing what he doesn't want you to do. Don't sign that s**t away, OP.

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RamblingManUK − NTA. Your inheritance = your choice.. Also this sounds like a really bad idea anyway. Best case is you and your siblings have all your eggs in one basket, in a fund run by someone who I'm assuming is not an investment banker? What if he makes bad investments or gets scammed? What if you want to get your money out at a later date?

What if there is a huge family row and one of you falls out with him? Even if he is 100% honest and on the level this is a d**adful idea. Worse case is he takes you inheritance and leaves you with nothing. The 'my siblings and I would have no idea how much money was in this corporation or where the money was being allocated' is a massive red flag. Why should you not know how much money YOU have? Why should you have no say over how YOUR money is invested?

[Reddit User] − Lawyer here: Stand your ground and do not do as your father is suggesting. If you need a tactful response, tell him that you can reconsider his offer once you actually have the inheritance money in your account. Signing away control of money that is not even in your possession yet is something that you may regret for the rest of your life.

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These hot Reddit takes beg the question: Is control worth fighting for? Does Dad’s heart mean well, or is this a risky grab?

This wild ride of inheritance, control, and family trust has us glued! Our Reddit hero’s staring down a leap of faith—hand over his legacy or hold tight? Dad’s aiming to shield work ethic, but the user’s savvy caution steals the show. It’s a clash of good intentions and hard boundaries, with cash on the line! What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Toss your wisdom, worries, or witty jabs below—let’s hash out this money maze together!

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