WIBTA for having my aunt arrested for theft?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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Picture a quiet evening shattered by betrayal: a homeowner flips through security footage, jaw dropping as their own aunt sneaks cash and cameras from their home. The sting of theft—$10,000 worth—hits hard, but the real gut-punch is the family drama brewing. This Reddit user, caught between justice and loyalty, faces a heart-wrenching choice. Should they report their aunt to the police, knowing it could fracture their family forever? The Reddit community chimes in, and the debate is as heated as a summer barbecue gone wrong.

The user’s frustration is palpable, their trust violated in their own sanctuary. With clear evidence and a shady aunt with a questionable past, the decision weighs heavily. Readers can’t help but wonder: what’s worse, losing money or losing family? This tale of theft and tough calls pulls us into a moral maze, where every choice feels like a gamble. Let’s dive into the story and see how it unfolds, with Reddit’s hot takes and expert insight to light the way.

‘WIBTA for having my aunt arrested for theft?’

My aunt stole cash and two cameras from my house a couple of months ago. Total value - $10k. I didn't realize these things were missing until yesterday because I am rarely home. Even so, the cameras aren't used often and I never count the cash I have in my place.

Thankfully, I have a few (somewhat hidden) security cameras set up in my house. When I realized these thing were missing, I accessed the backup footage and I was shocked to find that my aunt stole them. She stayed at my house with a few other family members back in early August.

I asked my mom what I should do and she freaked out, confronted my aunt, and this whole thing blew up. My mom and I want to go to the police ASAP and also sue in civil court. Without going into detail, this aunt has been very shady in the past so this is just the latest incident.

But with such clear evidence now, I'm over it. I'm pretty adamant about going to the police. The only thing that gave me pause: my cousin called me, crying and pleading, and offered to pay for what my aunt stole. My cousin and I are very close and I know that if I go to to the police, our family won't ever recover.

There will be a permanent rift between our two sides. So I'd have the money and there wouldn't be too much family drama, but my aunt wouldn't face the consequences of her actions - so I'm still thinking about going to the police. WIBTA?

Edit: so many great responses here. We decided to go to the police tomorrow morning and report it. I understand that she likely won't be able to ever pay me back, but I feel like I have to try to stop this behavior from happening in the future.

The only way to ensure that is to make sure that she faces the consequences of her actions. I can replace the things she stole, I'm not worried about that. But I can't sleep at night knowing that she stole from me and got away with it without any repercussions.

Family theft is a gut-wrenching betrayal, blending personal hurt with legal dilemmas. This Reddit user’s situation—facing an aunt’s $10,000 theft—highlights the emotional and ethical tightrope of holding family accountable. The aunt’s actions, caught on camera, pit justice against family harmony, with the user’s cousin pleading for leniency. But enabling bad behavior often fuels more trouble. As psychologist Dr. John Gottman notes, “Trust is built in very small moments,” and breaking it, like this aunt did, can ripple through relationships (source: Greater Good Magazine).

The aunt’s shady past suggests a pattern, not a one-off. Her theft reflects a broader issue: unchecked behavior escalates. Studies show that 1 in 4 people have experienced theft by a family member, often swept under the rug to avoid conflict (source: National Crime Prevention Council). The user’s instinct to report aligns with deterring future violations, but the cousin’s offer to repay complicates things. Gottman’s insight applies here: rebuilding trust requires accountability, not just restitution. The aunt’s lack of remorse signals she might strike again if unpunished.

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Reporting the theft could set a boundary, showing that actions have consequences. Yet, the user risks alienating their cousin, who’s caught in the crossfire. A balanced approach might involve reporting the crime while offering emotional support to the cousin, emphasizing that the aunt’s choices, not the user’s, caused the rift. Legal action could push the aunt toward change, protecting future victims. Alternatively, a civil suit might recover losses without criminal charges, though it may not deter her behavior long-term.

Ultimately, the user must weigh justice against family ties. Experts suggest clear communication and firm boundaries to navigate such betrayals. Setting up stronger home security, like the user’s cameras, is a practical step for peace of mind. Whatever the choice, the user’s not wrong for wanting accountability—it’s about protecting their space and trust.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit’s got no shortage of spicy opinions, and this thread’s no exception! Here’s a roundup of the community’s candid, sometimes snarky takes on the aunt’s sticky fingers and the user’s dilemma. Buckle up for some unfiltered wisdom:

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Sandmint − NTA. Your cousin isn't an a**hole for asking but they are an enabler for your aunt. If your aunt didn't want to risk punishment for being a thief, she shouldn't have stolen in the first place, let alone from family. If she hadn't stolen from you, there would be nothing for you to report.

AnonAndHappy − NTA. Either choice you’re NTA

ElectricMoccoson − NTA - Your cousin shouldn't be pleading to you to give your Aunt clemency. And it's not her place to pay for things. Why is your cousin not pleading to your Aunt to give the stuff back? If I were in your shoes, I would go to the police about this. If your Aunt has done shady stuff in the past, she needs to learn the consequences of stealing from family.

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sebulbaalwayswinz − This reminds me of episode 1 of Ozarks where there was a 'what if' scenario where you catch a lifelong employee stealing. The correct answer was you fire her immediately because this isn't the first time she stole, just the first time she got caught.

You said yourself she has a shady past. Do you really think this is her first time stealing from family? Or do you think she's been emboldened by past actions? I can't answer this because I don't know her. Your cousin may intervene and you'll get your money back,

but isn't that just kicking the can down the road for another transgression? You don't leave hot coals around to flare up later, you drop a huge ass bucket of water on them. Calling the police is your way to stamp this out.

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Cry_Original − NTA Actions have consequences. Just because their 'family' doesn't make stealing ok and the only person to blame for breaking up your family is your aunt, not you. Your cousin is going to feel hurt if you do report her mum to the police, so make sure you provide your cousin with love and support during this time, even if they try to push you away.. If you haven't already though, change your locks and don't give anyone the key. Best of luck!

NarrativeScorpion − YWNBTA regardless of whether you report your aunt's theft or not. And let's be clear, you are not 'having your aunt arrested' her actions are what would cause her arrest. You are simply reporting her actions. If she hadn't committed a crime, she wouldn't have a problem.

And, yes, you might lose the relationship you have with your cousin, but do you really want to continue interacting with someone who is enabling your aunts criminal behaviour? Because I sincerely doubt this is the first time your aunt has committed a crime, or you cousin has bailed her out for it. 10k is not a first timer.

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This is someone who has probably stolen kn the past, and if she isn't forced to face consequences for her actions, will continue to do so. Because she clearly isn't remorseful. If your aunt was the one calling you, and paying you back, I'd be more inclined to say forgive her (but never trust her again). She isn't.

Oracle5of7 − NTA regardless of what you decide. It comes down to what you think is important to YOU! One, your aunt learning a real lesson, or two, keeping peace in the family. It seems that either way you get your money back and/or your stuff, so that’s not part of the equation any more.

Trilobyte141 − NTA If you want a hope of not making a bigger issue in the family though, I would tell your cousin this: That it's better for you to report and press charges now, than for her to continue to steal. The longer she goes without dealing with the consequences of her actions, the worse those actions will become,

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and the bigger and more serious the consequences when she does eventually get caught. She needs to learn that she can't do these things - not just because it's wrong (she already knows that) but because the consequences suck and she can't escape them.

If she never learns this lesson on small things, she'll eventually have to learn it on a big one... and there may be no coming back from that. Although reporting her will suck for her in the short run, in the long run you are probably doing the best thing for everyone, including your aunt.

Pink_Custard − Nta. Just charge her 20k and consider the extra amount a premium for not going to the cops.

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AegoWaffles − NTA. Your aunt should pay for her actions.

These Reddit hot takes are fiery, but do they hold up? The community’s split, but most lean toward justice over family peace. It’s a classic case of Reddit rallying behind consequences—maybe with a side of popcorn for the drama.

This tale of family betrayal leaves us grappling with a tough question: is justice worth a family rift? The Reddit user’s choice to report their aunt aims to stop her shady streak, but at what cost? Readers, what’s your take? Would you call the cops on a thieving relative, or let it slide to keep the peace? Share your stories and thoughts below—what would you do if you caught a family member red-handed?

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