WIBTA for going to HR about a coworker refusing to use my (foreign) name instead of an American one?

A French employee named Michel, new to an American workplace, faces a grating issue: a loud, senior coworker, John, insists on calling him “Mitch,” dismissing his proper name as “feminine” despite knowing how to pronounce it. After polite requests and a formal email go ignored, Michel considers reporting John to HR, wary of seeming petty but fed up with the disrespect. Reddit backs his frustration, labeling John’s behavior as unprofessional.

This isn’t just about a nickname—it’s a clash of identity, respect, and workplace norms. Would escalating to HR be fair, or an overreach? Readers are hooked: should Michel push back, or let it slide? The workplace drama demands a verdict.

‘WIBTA for going to HR about a coworker refusing to use my (foreign) name instead of an American one?’

This employee shared his naming struggle on Reddit, detailing John’s refusal to use his proper name and his own pushback. Here’s his original post, unpacking the tense standoff.

Names are core to identity, and Michel’s coworker John’s refusal to use his proper name, despite multiple requests and proof he can pronounce it, is a clear breach of workplace respect. By calling Michel “Mitch” and dismissing his name as “feminine,” John imposes cultural bias and undermines Michel’s autonomy, as Reddit’s NTA voters noted. Michel’s attempts—verbal corrections and a formal email—show reasonable escalation, and John’s non-response justifies considering HR, especially as workplace harassment training, per a Redditor, flags such behavior.

This reflects broader issues of cultural sensitivity at work. A 2023 study in Journal of Organizational Behavior found that persistent misuse of names, particularly for non-Western employees, often signals microaggressions, eroding inclusion. John’s actions, intentional or not, fit this pattern, particularly with his gendered rationale.

HR expert Amy Gallo says, “Addressing name misuse early with clear documentation prevents escalation; HR exists to enforce respect”. Her insight supports Michel’s potential HR report, especially with his email as evidence, though a final verbal warning to John could strengthen his case. John’s seniority doesn’t excuse his behavior; he must comply or face consequences.

Michel should document all instances, issue one final request to John, and proceed to HR if ignored, framing it as a professional respect issue. John needs to respect Michel’s name or face formal repercussions.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit dove into this workplace name clash with takes as sharp as a corporate email. Here’s a roundup of their thoughts, sprinkled with humor—because even office feuds need a chuckle.

These Reddit quips are pointed, but do they name the truth? Would Michel’s HR move be a rightful stand, or too petty?

Michel’s battle over his name is a compelling saga of identity versus insolence. Facing John’s stubborn “Mitch” habit, he’s pushed toward HR, backed by Reddit’s call for respect but cautious of seeming petty. As he navigates his American workplace, one question looms: can he reclaim his name without rocking the boat? What would you do when a coworker dismisses your identity? Share your stories and weigh in on this cultural drama!