WIBTA for Cutting Off My Mom If She Keeps Disrespecting My Parenting Rules?

OP (22F) set a “no kissing” rule to protect her newborn daughter when visiting her great-grandfather, but he broke it, kissing her face and mouth. After he was later diagnosed with walking pneumonia, OP refused to bring her baby back until he respects her rules. Her mother, however, gaslights her, calling her “heartless” and “cruel,” escalating tensions with emotional manipulation, including bizarre claims about RSV. OP, considering no contact, stands firm to protect her child.

Reddit unanimously supports OP, stressing that her baby’s health trumps family feelings. Her mother’s behavior, possibly tied to bipolar disorder, adds complexity. Is OP right to prioritize her newborn’s safety over family pressure? Let’s dive into this dramatic family conflict.

‘WIBTA for Cutting Off My Mom If She Keeps Disrespecting My Parenting Rules?‘

It began when OP brought her newborn to meet her great-grandfather:

Family conflict arose when OP’s mother pressured her:

Update: OP’s mother gaslights her, escalating tensions:

Update 2: Clarification on great-grandfather’s health:

Update 3: OP’s mother escalates emotional manipulation:

The great-grandfather’s violation of OP’s “no kissing” rule was a serious breach of boundaries, especially since newborns have weak immune systems. Pediatric expert Dr. Harvey Karp notes, “Infants under 3 months are highly susceptible to severe infections like RSV or herpes” (The Happiest Baby on the Block). OP is entirely justified in prioritizing her baby’s health, especially after her great-grandfather’s walking pneumonia diagnosis—a dangerous illness for infants.

OP’s mother exhibits gaslighting behavior, calling her “heartless” and “cruel” and pushing conspiracy theories about RSV to pressure compliance. According to Dr. Ramani Durvasula, an expert on bipolar disorder and manipulation, those with bipolar disorder can become aggressive or irrational during manic phases, but this doesn’t excuse disrespecting OP’s boundaries. Her mother’s denial of RSV risks and blame-shifting are signs of unhealthy communication, causing OP psychological harm.

OP should maintain her “no kissing” rule and insist her mother address the great-grandfather’s compliance before any visits. If her mother continues gaslighting or spreads the issue to OP’s aunts, temporary no contact may be necessary to protect OP’s mental health. Individual therapy can help OP navigate conflict and strengthen boundary-setting skills. Her aunts’ respect for her rules is positive, but OP must prepare for family pressure.

OP is not wrong for prioritizing her daughter’s safety, especially with her mother’s erratic, possibly bipolar-driven behavior and refusal to heed science. This story underscores the importance of fierce parenting and putting a child’s health above family emotions. OP should continue closely monitoring family interactions and seek support from her husband or friends to handle her mother’s pressure.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit unanimously supports OP, emphasizing her parental rights and child’s safety:

Some highlight the serious health risks to newborns:

Some criticize the great-grandfather and OP’s mother’s behavior:

OP is absolutely right to protect her daughter from health risks, despite her mother’s emotional manipulation and her great-grandfather’s disrespectful behavior. Reddit supports OP, emphasizing that the health of the newborn must take precedence over the family’s feelings.

OP’s mother is causing emotional harm, and cutting off contact may be necessary if she doesn’t change. What do you think of OP’s “no kissing” rule? Should she cut off contact with her mother to protect her mental health? Share your thoughts to continue this discussion!