WIBTA for cutting my family off over a honeymoon?

On a sun-drenched beach, a newlywed couple, let’s call them Alex and Jamie, should be sipping cocktails and basking in love. Instead, Alex’s phone buzzes with angry texts from his parents and brother, who “surprised” them by showing up at their original honeymoon spot—despite Alex’s clear refusal to make it a family trip. Stung by a lifetime of boundary violations, from gatecrashing dates to unpaid debts in his name, Alex is ready to cut ties, even as his family’s apology dangles.

This isn’t just about a ruined honeymoon; it’s about respect, autonomy, and the pain of family overreach. Alex’s hurt runs deep, but the thought of severing ties with his anxious mom and close-knit family weighs heavy. Reddit’s community dove in with fiery support and tough questions, urging him to weigh his options. Let’s unpack this boundary-busting drama and explore Alex’s next steps.

‘WIBTA for cutting my family off over a honeymoon?’

My wife and I got married on Saturday. We had a small wedding so that we could have an awesome honeymoon and still have savings left. We paid for it ourselves, if that matters. When we mentioned our plans, my parents wanted to come with us and make a family vacation of our honeymoon. I shut that down immediately.

But in the last few months they started 'joking' about 'just showing up' where we were planning to go. Half because of this and half because we found a great deal, we decided to go to another, even cooler, place but didn't tell my parents. Her parents are watching our dogs so we had to tell them how contact us.

Sunday night I get a bunch of texts from my mom, dad and brother wanting to know where we are. Yep, they showed up at the original honeymoon location 'as a fun surprise!!' Like, what the actual F**K? They were pissed that I 'betrayed' them by lying and even more pissed that I refuse to tell them where we are now.

Somehow they figured out that her parents know where we are and have apparently been pestering them for info. When that didn't work they did apologize, as well as saying that they 'forgive me for ruining their first family vacation in a decade.' They want to just put this behind us and move on.

But the thing is, I don't want to. I don't want their apology. I want them to never have pulled this s**t in the first place. I love my family a lot. I hurts so bad to think of never speaking to them again. And I know it will hurt them deeply if I cut them off.

My mom has anxiety and this will probably cause her to spiral, which my dad and brother will have to deal with. But I just can't deal with this anymore. I just can't keep being the only adult with three adult children needing my constant attention. WIBTA if I cut my family off over this even though they apologized?

Edit: Thanks to everyone who replied, even the YTAs, Sorry I haven't commented more but, well, honeymoon. I'm reading all the comments through.

Edit 2: They've done stuff like this all my life- shown up on my dates, stopped me going to my best friend's funeral, unpaid debt/bills in my name. They always apologize and then do it again. But they also went into debt when we were kids so that we could have trips and toys.

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Edit 3: I think I'll put them in time out for a while, but I'm pretty sure that will make them cut me off for 'betrayal'

Alex’s family crashing his honeymoon plans is a glaring violation of boundaries, amplified by their history of intrusive behavior. Dr. Nedra Glover Tawwab, a boundaries expert, notes, “Repeated boundary violations signal a lack of respect, often rooted in control or enmeshment” . Alex’s parents’ “surprise” and their blaming him for “betraying” them reflect a pattern of prioritizing their desires over his autonomy, from showing up on dates to financial misconduct.

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This ties to a broader issue: toxic family dynamics. A 2023 study from the Journal of Family Psychology found that 27% of adults report boundary violations by parents, often leading to estrangement when unaddressed . Alex’s family’s apologies, followed by more violations, suggest a cycle of manipulation, not genuine change. His mom’s anxiety and their past sacrifices for childhood trips add emotional weight, but don’t justify their actions.

Dr. Tawwab suggests a “time-out” over permanent cut-off as a first step, allowing Alex to enforce consequences without closing the door entirely. He could send a clear message—perhaps via email—stating he needs space due to their disrespect, specifying a no-contact period (e.g., three months). This protects his peace while leaving room for future reconciliation if they respect his terms. Alex should also consult a therapist to navigate guilt and process his family’s control tactics . Jamie’s perspective, as a partner, could guide their united front.

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For others facing similar overreach, experts recommend documenting incidents and setting firm, consistent boundaries. Alex’s decision to withhold their location was a healthy step, but long-term, he’ll need strategies to maintain distance without guilt. His family’s reaction to a time-out will reveal if change is possible—or if cutting ties is the only path to peace.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up outrage and empathy like a wedding toast gone rogue. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the community:

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CakeisaDie − NTA Congrats on your wedding. You made your boundries clear and they aren't respecting them. So you need to escalate unfortunately.. Edit: Get off the internet OP and enjoy your Honeymoon.

1_Justbreakup − NTA what the f**k. A honeymoon is for the newly wedded couple to be able to spend time away, as a couple, ALONE. Your family has major boundary issues

waterwitch602 − OP I'm reading your comments and the decades of behavior you're describing isn't love. It's control and obsession. It doesn't mean that they don't love you, but saying you feel guilty because they love you is doing yourself an incredible disservice. NTA and I hope whatever choice you make will allow you to have a healthier life.

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internetpointsiguana − Even if they did show up where y’all are, what are they expecting??? Do they not understand what a honeymoon entails? Did they plan on just watching y’all f**k the entire time? Please, if you haven’t cut them off yet, ask them. I’m dying to know.. Also NTA

ResurgentRS − Haha, your family landed into a great self-inflicted punishment! NTA! Congratulations on the marriage by the way! But poetic justice aside I think you should seriously consider if it’s worth cutting them out of your life for this.

Is this the straw that broke the camel’s back or is this just a fire and gasoline intense now but dying off quick situation? Either way, I’d take a few days to seriously consider the potential consequences of your actions.

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mkwal13 − I’m gonna say NTA due to their ridiculous behaviour however I think that maybe just some time away might be what is needed, cutting them off seems a bit excessive. They sound batshit crazy, no offence

casinoLF − NTA, this is a giant boundary violation. Maybe you don't have to cut them off forever but I think you should make a clear declaration that what they did was massively inappropriate and you need some space for awhile. Periodically reevaluate how you feel about them, maybe take a few months at first and see if you miss them.

dunemi − INFO:. What other behavior do they exhibit that would warrant cutting them off? Is this a one off?

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PM_ME_YOUR_MARIJUANA − NTA. Not even a little bit, even if you choose to go totally no-contact. This is a massive violation of boundaries especially considering that they knew how you felt about it when they suggested it the first time.

My parents in law did something similar, but instead of vacation they booked the entire family at the same hotel we chose for the night of our wedding before leaving for our honeymoon. To make matters worse, they booked the block of suites directly below ours making it the biggest cock-block in the history of ever (probably); it was a total non-starter for my wife with her parents directly below us, and her grandparents adjacent.

To really drive the night home, they came to our door and whisked my wife away to ignore me and hang out with their family for several hours - I wasn't even invited. They insisted that she make time for her grandparents alone and them alone since they didn't see each other often. While I got the sentiment, it was a totally inappropriate time.

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I sat in my hotel room for most of the evening alone, and couldn't even get any wedding night booty. Let's not get started on the fight my mother in law got in with both my mother and my wife during our reception. I was ready to go no contact just for that - I can't imagine how you're feeling. NTA, at all.

Dysteech − NTA. I’m wondering what your spouse thinks about all this?

These Redditors rallied behind Alex, slamming his family’s audacity while probing his next moves. Do their takes capture the full weight of this family feud, or are they just fanning the flames?

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Alex’s story is a stark reminder that love doesn’t excuse disrespect, especially on a honeymoon meant for two. His family’s boundary-stomping, rooted in years of control, demands consequences, but cutting them off forever is a heavy choice. A time-out, clear communication, and therapy could pave a path forward—or confirm the need for distance. Have you ever faced family overreach that tested your limits? What would you do in Alex’s shoes to reclaim your peace? Share your thoughts below and let’s keep the conversation going!

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