What should I do? I feel pretty stuck and suddenly awakened, as if the rose tinted glasses have come off. 22F 22M

In a cramped apartment, a 22-year-old woman fidgets with her phone, her heart heavy as she dreads playing the role of the perfect girlfriend at her boyfriend’s upcoming ceremony. Once, she saw forever in his eyes, but now the rose-tinted glasses are off, revealing a man who shuns her public kisses, ignores her for video games, and dismisses her dreams of museums and fine dining. The spark is fading, replaced by a nagging truth: she might deserve more.

Her awakening stirs a mix of excitement and fear, as she questions a future with someone whose sweats clash with her dresses. Readers feel her restless spirit, caught between loyalty and the call of a life uncompromised. Is she ready to step into her own story, or will obligation keep her tethered? Her journey promises a raw, relatable dive into love’s toughest choice: stay or go?

‘What should I do? I feel pretty stuck and suddenly awakened, as if the rose tinted glasses have come off. 22F 22M’

It happened so suddenly, but bit by bit. I was hit by a realization that I could do better. This man does not like when I kiss his cheek in public, I am not sure if I want to be chastised for expressing my love for the rest of my life. We don't have the same taste in music, which means we defer to his choice in all situations, and definitely not the same taste in style.

I don't know if I want to live with a person who does not want to see museums and experience fine restaurants. I thought I was so sure about not wanting kids. I'm not sure about that either anymore. Kids adore me. I don't hate them. I want the option to have them, and I will not have that with him.

We don't dress the same- I love dressing up, and he wears sweats everywhere. I want to be princessed, I want someone who wants to spend more time with me. In our relationship, I'm ignored for video games but I never say anything, it reminds me of the 'cool girl' monologue. I don't find his jokes funny anymore, I have to force myself to laugh.

It does not help that a certain part of me just wants to go celibate for a little bit. I feel so smothered. The worst part is that he has a ceremony coming up for which I have to go to with his parents. I don't know whether this feeling will last forever, but I cannot imagine feeling this way for the rest of my life. I have to make it to the event, but I feel like I'm acting whenever I am with my boyfriend.

This young woman’s sudden clarity about her relationship reflects a pivotal moment of growth. Her boyfriend’s dismissal of her affection, differing tastes, and lack of shared vision—especially on major decisions like children—highlight a fundamental mismatch. Her feeling of being “smothered” suggests she’s outgrowing a dynamic where her needs are sidelined, a realization that’s both empowering and daunting.

Such incompatibilities often signal the end of young relationships. A 2021 study by the Institute for Family Studies found that 40% of couples in their 20s split due to misaligned life goals (source: ifstudies.org). Relationship expert Esther Perel notes, “When one partner feels they must suppress their authentic self to maintain a relationship, resentment builds, eroding connection” (source: estherperel.com). Here, her desire to be “princessed” and valued clashes with his indifference, fueling her discontent.

She should reflect on her non-negotiables—children, lifestyle, emotional presence—and discuss them openly with him, as advised by the Gottman Institute (source: gottman.com). If he can’t meet her halfway, parting ways before the ceremony might spare both pain.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit’s crew served up a blend of tough love and cheeky encouragement, like friends rallying around a campfire. Here’s what they had to say:

Poo_Nanners − You’re young. Sounds like it’s time to break up. I’m sorry. ❤️

Predatory_Chicken − This is why dating exists. You try people out to see if they are a good fit. Your bf isn’t a good fit. So you end it. No need to drag this out until you both hate each other.

TruCarMa − Also, if you know you’re going to break up with him, it might be a kindness to do it before the ceremony. That way all of the photos and memories of the event won’t include you, which will likely be preferable to him & his family, if not immediately then eventually.

faithfulldawn − The best lesson to learn early on is the lesson of leaving not because it fell apart but because you believe you can find something more compatible for your needs. And making the choice to communicate that and allow both of you to simply move on. It’ll open doors for you. While it’s hard to make sense of, it is so freeing.

goodbye-toilet-cat − You have Reddit’s permission to break up with this total snore-gasm of a dude.

PleaseCoffeeMe − Some relationships have a expiration date, you seemed to have reached yours. Take a break, or break it off. Plodding along will just make both of you miserable.

Dustbunny143 − It honestly sounds like you are over him already, you are so young don’t waste your time on a man that doesn’t fit.

idlegadfly − I'll let you in on a little secret I've learned the hard way: if you're agonizing over whether or not to break up with someone (especially if you've created such a list of reasons to do it) and you're reaching out to people to try to come up with reasons to stay, then you already ***know*** you 100% want to, meaning the answer is 'yes, break up ASAP and stop wasting your own time and energy.'

OkWishBear − Sounds like you’re growing in different directions. If you feel like you can’t be yourself when you’re with him, that’s usually a pretty good sign that its time to end things and move on.

Devi_Moonbeam − People grow in different directions. You are simply not compatible and probably you never were. You're very young and you're not even married to this guy. Just break up. There is no reason to go to this event or to drag it out.

These takes are bold and heartfelt, but do they capture the full nuance of her crossroads, or is love’s exit strategy messier than Reddit suggests?

Her awakening is a bold step toward a life that aligns with her heart’s desires, whether that means leaving or redefining her path. Choosing herself over a fading romance takes guts, especially with a big event looming. What would you do if you realized your partner no longer fit your dreams? Share your stories or advice—how do we embrace our truth when love feels like a mask?

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