We didn’t hire our friend as a realtor and he won’t let it go?

A young couple dives into the exciting world of buying their first home, only to find themselves in hot water with a close friend who’s a newly licensed realtor. They casually promised to consider him for the job, but ended up working with another agent who had more experience. The result? A string of tense texts and an awkward double date where feelings got hurt.

The couple feels guilty but frustrated, wondering if they mishandled things. Social media weighs in with split opinions: some call the couple out for seeking free advice from their friend, while others defend their right to choose their own realtor.

‘We didn’t hire our friend as a realtor and he won’t let it go?’

Buying a first home is a whirlwind, and this couple was all in.

My partner [27nb], and I [27f] are in the process of looking to buy our first house. We’ve been pre approved and are just touring houses non stop now. When...

Our friend [28M] has provided us some good insight into how home buying works. When he got his license 2 months ago we casually told him that once we start...

Things got messy when the couple connected with a different realtor by chance.

Sometime this past summer I had inquired about viewing a house through realtor.com so it paired me up with a local agent to view the house. At the time the...

About 2 weeks ago a house popped up on the search, I respond, and he takes us to view the house. The house checked every box for us. We decided...

My partner was reading through the paperwork our realtor sent and we wasn’t sure what a term ment so instead of asking our guy, he called our friend. Our friend...

He explained that once we sign this contract we can’t use anyone else unless we fire our guy. My partner said he calmed him down and they started talking about...

We didn’t get the house but that’s ok, we have time. I really like our realtor as he does house flips on his own so he’s super knowledgeable (and honest)...

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What should’ve been a fun night out turned into a 15-minute debate.

Last night we went on a double date with our friend and his wife. Before the show started he dominated about 15min of conversation asking us why we went with...

I was super honest and told him it just happened because we wanted to make an offer asap, it wasn’t anything against him. My partner added that if by January...

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Our friend definitely does not know much about home renovation but he grumbled that “these are things all realtors are knowledgeable of”. His wife didn’t seem upset with us at...

Even after the date, the friend couldn’t let it go.

After the show he texted us about how we could at least try getting a better mortgage rate with blah blah blah but he DOESNT EVEN KNOW anything about our...

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EDIT: Yes my partner screwed up calling our friend and if (when) is comes up again we will specifically apologize for that. I do want to clarify though that my...

not information about the house or sale. Also my partner apologized in the moment when he got upset and our friend said he likes helping friends and doesn’t want us...

When business and friendship collide, things can get sticky fast.

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The couple’s situation is a classic case of blurred lines. They didn’t mean to hurt their friend, but asking for his professional advice while working with another realtor sparked tension. It’s a reminder that clear boundaries are key when mixing personal and professional relationships.

The friend, new to the real estate game, likely felt betrayed after sharing his expertise, expecting to be hired. His persistence in bringing it up, though, risks pushing the couple away. Both sides could’ve communicated better from the start to avoid this mess.

As psychologist Dr. John Gottman notes, “Mutual respect and clear communication are the bedrock of strong relationships” (The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work). Here, a lack of upfront clarity fueled the drama.

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Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Social media lit up with opinions on this realtor drama, ranging from sharp criticism to supportive takes and a few practical insights.

Some users felt the couple crossed a line by asking their friend for professional advice without hiring him, seeing it as taking advantage of his expertise.

aurquhart − NTA but I wouldn’t have reached out to him for professional advice and asked questions on a property you weren’t buying with him.

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Intrepid_Potential60 − While he shouldn’t keep harping on it, completely agreed, making that initial phone call was a really bonehead move. NTA for not hiring him, hire who you are...

YTA for calling him and seeking free counsel of a professional nature though. This is what opened Pandora’s box to begin with and was inappropriate and rude. How did you...

MyLadyBits − YTA because you were asking for his expertise on how to buy and then went with someone else. And then when you had questions and already hired another...

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You are using him. This is his livelihood and you want him to work for free. Choosey beggar take a look in the mirror.

cocoagiant − Most real estate agents start out by using their friends/ family network and branching out from there.

You guys should have not asked your friend for advice at all if you weren't planning to use him as you admitted. He should have dropped it after you made...

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charlybell − ESH. You’re asking for his advice more than once and not giving him the commission. Ask your realtor for advice. That’s what you’re paying him for. Not the...

Very common for acquaintances to contact me for vet advice on weekends while not giving me their business. It is rude. Do I give them advice? Sure. But about 12-24...

chimera4n − It's just plain rude to pay one person for a professional service, and then turn round and ask for information for free from someone else, especially a friend...

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T-38Pilot − You didn’t do it intentionally but you guys were kind of rude about it especially once you asked him for help

Others backed the couple, arguing they’re not obligated to hire their friend just because of their relationship.

KittKatt7179 − Nope. Never mix business with family/friends. I will have the potential to go really badly. He needs to stop.

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homeslice9090 − NTA. Just because you are friends with someone who works as a realtor, doesn’t mean you are now obligated to use them as your own. You get to...

A few users offered a middle ground, suggesting the couple follow their instincts but handle things more tactfully.

1miker − First of all, an agent should never advise on condition. You should get an inspector for that. Your friend might do a great job for you, too. You...

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Good luck, it's a tricky situation. I've been on both sides of this issue. Remember, if your friend sticks it out, he may offer you deals first. If an agent...

This saga shows that mixing business with friendship requires crystal-clear communication to avoid hurt feelings. Both sides could’ve been more upfront to prevent this drama. Should the couple stick with their current realtor or give their friend a shot? How do you handle situations where friends expect to be hired for professional services?

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