AITA for saying I will move in with my friend’s family if my dad moved his partner and her kids in?

A teenager just dropped a bombshell on their dad, declaring they’d move out to a friend’s family if he went ahead with letting his girlfriend and her two kids move in. The situation escalated fast after the girlfriend faced a sudden housing crisis, forcing a tough choice that clashed with an old promise dad made to wait until the teen finished school.

Feelings are running high on all sides – resentment toward the new family members, guilt over the fallout, and stress from nonstop arguments. What started as a bid for personal space has turned into a full-blown relationship crisis for dad, leaving everyone questioning if the teen went too far.

‘AITA for saying I will move in with my friend’s family if my dad moved his partner and her kids in?’

The teen’s frustration stems from dad’s four-year relationship with a partner who has two young kids, and a recent crisis that left her homeless through no direct fault of her own:

My dad has been with his partner for 4 years. She has two kids. She recently got into some issues and lost her house (not as a result of her...

My dad had previously promised he wouldn’t move in with her until I had finished school and left home, but because of this, they decided she should move in. I...

I don’t like her, I don’t like how my dad acts around her, and her kids are extremely irritating. One of her kids has learning delays and really poor impulse...

I can’t go and live with my mother because she lives two hours away and I want to finish school at the place I’m in since I only have one...

While venting at a close friend’s house, the friend’s dad – who’s like a second father figure – offered a place to stay:

I was over at my friend’s house discussing this and his dad said I could live with them. I know he’s 100% serious because he’s been like a second dad...

He said as long as I can get myself to school (my friend is homeschooled so we wouldn’t go together) I can live there if my parents agree.

The teen laid it out clearly to dad, leading to anger and eventual backtracking – but at a heavy cost:

ADVERTISEMENT

I said to my dad that if he goes ahead with moving his girlfriend in, I’m out. He was furious, but eventually said he will backtrack on the offer but...

He’s now fighting with his girlfriend about it. All day she’s been calling him at ten minute intervals and there’s been all sorts of shouting. From what I’ve overheard she...

I feel like I offered the only compromise I really could that’s going to keep me sane but I feel kind of s__t that I’m ruining things for my dad....

ADVERTISEMENT

This clash boils down to shifting priorities in a single-parent household facing unexpected hardship. The teen feels betrayed by a broken promise, especially with just one year left in school, while dad grapples with supporting his partner without displacing his child. Blended families often hit these walls when external crises force accelerated timelines.

Dad’s initial agreement to delay cohabitation showed consideration for the teen’s comfort, but the girlfriend’s housing loss – tied to her late ex-husband’s legal matters – created urgency. No one’s inherently villainous here; it’s a case of competing needs where the parent’s duty to a minor child typically takes precedence.

Critics see the teen’s stance as an ultimatum rather than true compromise, potentially pressuring dad into choosing sides. Yet at 17 (inferred from context), asserting boundaries is a natural step toward independence, especially when alternative living arrangements exist.

ADVERTISEMENT

Family therapist Dr. John Gottman, known for research on relationships, emphasizes that successful blending requires open communication and mutual respect long before moves happen (source: Gottman Institute studies). Rushed integrations often breed resentment.

Moving forward, solutions could involve trial periods, clear house rules if cohabitation proceeds, or formalizing the friend’s family offer with parental consent. Dad might explore temporary aid for the girlfriend without full move-in. Prioritizing the teen’s stability aligns with good parenting, but empathy for everyone’s disruption helps ease guilt.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reactions flooded in fast, with most users siding firmly with the teen and calling out dad for reneging on his promise:

ADVERTISEMENT

Loads of support highlighted the valid alternative offered and dad’s responsibility to his child first.

vt2022cam - NTA - circumstances change, and you actually provided a compromise that could work. You should probably set up some ground rules with your dad on how often you...

jrm1102 - NTA - but how old are you? Ideally you should have had a conversation that didnt include an ultimatum but you did let him know how this decision...

ADVERTISEMENT

YouthNAsia63 - Ok, look. You could go live with your mother. In theory. In reality, your mother could sign off with you living with her best friend and her family...

KronkLaSworda - NAH It looks like your dad is trying to do what he can to keep you in his home. His GF has every right to be upset about...

Sinnedangel8027 - As a dad, I can't say I would be ok with my son going to live with a friend. Also, as a dad, I probably wouldn't be with...

ADVERTISEMENT

As for your perspective given the situation, it seems like you're not a jerk. And I think you're being reasonable. You're definitely NTA here.

I don't necessarily think your dad is either. I think the situation just sucks, but that's how life is sometimes, and you just have to pick a path and deal...

As I've explained to my son, don't be selfish, but don't be a pushover. Largely speaking, what you get out of life is what you demand from it. It doesn't...

ADVERTISEMENT

If you can't live with people like that, then do what you can to achieve that. But don't be mean or unnecessarily rude about it. I'm not saying you have...

UusiSisu - NTA but I’d bet girlfriend is. It is not yours and your dad’s problem that she has housing issues. What would she do if she was single? Does...

Friends? I don’t know if it was foreclosure or eviction, but I’m pretty sure a person gets notice of what’s going to happen. She had to know!

ADVERTISEMENT

Meaning she had time to prepare, and still does **or she waited to the last moment to give your dad an ultimatum! ** Seems to me you made the right...

She seems to forget that your dad is responsible for a child too—you! Instead of shouting and trying to get dad to clean up her life, she should be getting...

squirrelsareevil2479 - NTA. Your dad's biggest mistake was not discussing the new circumstances with you before agreeing to let his partner move in.

ADVERTISEMENT

He already had an agreement with you not to do this. It's difficult for all involved but you have offered a compromise. Good luck to you and I hope it...

WhyCommentQueasy - NTA, This is a result of him not keeping promises made. Obviously things don't always go according to plan, but he should have talked to you before making...

Agreeable_Rule_7768 - Nta as a minor child your dad's first responsibility it's to you. He promised he would wait until you graduated to live with his gf. He needs to...

ADVERTISEMENT

aj_alva - NTA. You communicated your issue and found a possible solution to avoid any problems. You aren't ruining anything for your dad. He is prioritizing his child over his...

Murky-Technician5123 - You should try and frame this in a mature way to your dad. It's clear you are NTA , and he is, but it's also clear that you...

and it's going to be hard living there. You have a better living option. Try to convince them that it's not personal and it's just the best option.

ADVERTISEMENT

Just talk to your dad, not the girlfriend. It's clear this is the best option. Your dad is not entirely being the worst like lots of these dad's it does...

[Reddit User] - NTA, you've offered a compromise but your dad doesn't like it. Tough. He should never have gone back on his word about not moving them in until...

ADVERTISEMENT

A smaller group pushed for more nuance, seeing no clear villains or suggesting softer approaches:

[Reddit User] - NAH. Your dad isn't an a__hole for not wanting his girlfriend and her young children to be homeless. You aren't an a__hole for not wanting to live...

Lemon_Drop_Serenade - Soft YTA You're 17, not 10. You're old enough to understand that circumstances change, life happens, and sometimes you have to deal with things you don't like.

ADVERTISEMENT

You're almost an adult, it's just part of life. You're putting your dad into an impossible situation. He's choosing you, he doesn't want you essentially driven out of your own...

But yes, you are ruining a long term relationship for him. He's a good man. He wants to help the woman he loves. He obviously would have had her move...

I feel for you too because you don't want your home invaded by people you don't like. Even if it is only a year. That being said, circumstances change, parenting...

ADVERTISEMENT

and your dad is only trying to do right by everyone in his life. What you're offering is an ultimatum, not a compromise. You're saying it's me or them.

You see it as a compromise because you're willing to do something you'd rather not. The problem is, it's not a compromise for dad. It's not an option for a...

A actual compromise might be staying at your friends house for weekends which is when you'd be at home more instead of school. And maybe staying with your mom for...

ADVERTISEMENT

You're young which is why I said soft AH. But you're still old enough to realize that in an adult world, sometimes you have to be flexible.

No_Morning5397 - I don't want to call you an AH because you're only 17, but you're kind of being a jerk to your dad. What's your plan for after you...

If you're planning on moving out at 18 and your dad moves his GF in will you never visit home? You're essentially telling your dad he needs to break up...

Is there a reason you hate her so much? We may not always like the person that our parents date after divorce, but you're going nuclear and making him choose...

He's obviously choosing you, but you're not really giving much of a reason that you can not stand to live with them, besides they annoy you. Also I think your...

Overall, the crowd leans heavily toward backing the teen’s position, stressing that parents should honor commitments to their kids and that the proposed move to a trusted friend’s home is a solid workaround.

These kinds of family shake-ups expose raw nerves around loyalty, change, and growing up. Nobody walks away unscathed when promises bend under pressure. What about you – does a broken promise justify standing firm like this, or is it time to suck it up for the greater good?

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *