Was I wrong to not sleep at a house with a bunch of 23yr old girls?

Picture a Wisconsin evening, snow piling high, roads vanishing under a white veil, and a 40-year-old insurance worker staring down an icy interstate. The clinic where he works closed early—a rare event in six years—leaving him with a choice: brave the treacherous drive home or accept a young coworker’s offer to crash at her place nearby. The cozy image of her and her 23-year-old roommates planning a bad movie marathon sounded tempting, but for this married father, it rang alarm bells of propriety.

His decision wasn’t just about dodging snowdrifts; it was a stand for his values, even if it meant a grueling hour-and-a-half crawl home. When he later shared the story with his wife, her laugh-snort dismissal stung his pride, sparking a mix of self-doubt and amusement.

‘Was I wrong to not sleep at a house with a bunch of 23yr old girls?’

I'm a 40 yr old male with a wife and small child. I drive about 40 min each way to/from work from our house in a smaller town to the city, in Wisconsin. I'm an insurance monkey at a hospital clinic, o no one ACTUALLY important there.

A few weeks ago we had that giant snowstorm that turned our roads/everything to white. It was so bad that my clinic actually closed a few hours early. In the 6 years I've been there that was the first time that's actually happened.. ​

One of our receptionists is a 23 yr old finishing her last year of college. She was nice enough to invite me to crash at her place only 10 min away from my clinic. Her and her roommates were planning on getting smashed during a bad B-movie marathon, since everything was closed.. ​

Now I'm a chubby, balding, middle aged man, with a mediocre job, and a personality that many have described as

So instead I did my usual 40 min drive home doing 25-30 mph on the normally 70 mph interstate, with questionable at best tires. It took me an hour and a half to get home, but I made it. My wife was scared for me, but happy I made it home.

A couple days ago I told her about the offer one of my co-workers made for me to crash at her place, and why I declined.. ​ She said she would have much preferred I was someplace safe rather than having to worry about me making it home alive.

I asked her if she wasn't worried about me spending the night with a bunch of mid-20s girls, she did a laugh/snort and just walked away... This hurt my pride a little bit I will admit... So was I wrong to not take my co-worker's offer up to crash at her place for the night?. ​. ​

EDIT: To all of those wondering why I didn't call my wife and ask her, I didn't even consider it. I declined as soon as she asked and never even gave the offer any real consideration, other than

EDIT 2: For those of you wondering why I didn't stay in a hotel room, its called stubbornness. I've live in WI my whole life and don't really fear the snowstorms anymore,

by the time I said to myself

Blizzards test more than just tires—they test character. Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist, notes, “Trust in relationships is built on predictability and reliability”. This Redditor’s choice to drive home through a snowstorm, rather than stay with young coworkers, reflects a deep commitment to his marriage’s integrity, even if his wife’s laugh suggested she never doubted him. It’s a quirky clash of pride and duty.

The man’s hesitation wasn’t about temptation but perception. Staying with a group of 23-year-old women, however innocent, could raise eyebrows in a small-town clinic. His wife’s preference for his safety highlights a practical concern—Wisconsin’s 2023 snowstorms caused over 1,000 accidents. Yet, his stubborn streak, fueled by lifelong familiarity with snow, drove him to risk the roads, a choice both admirable and reckless.

This scenario reflects broader societal norms around marital boundaries. A 2021 YouGov poll found 60% of married Americans believe avoiding compromising situations strengthens trust. The Redditor’s decision aligns with this, prioritizing optics over convenience. Still, Dr. Fisher’s research suggests open communication—like calling his wife—could have eased tensions.

For couples, this underscores the value of discussing boundaries upfront. The Redditor might reflect on his wife’s reaction with humor, not hurt, and clarify her trust. It’s a nudge to talk openly, ensuring pride doesn’t outshine partnership.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit’s chorus was loud and clear: the Redditor’s call to drive home earned respect. Users praised his integrity, noting his choice dodged any whiff of impropriety, though some chuckled at his stubbornness, suggesting a hotel might’ve been wiser. Many interpreted his wife’s laugh as a badge of trust, not a jab at his appeal, urging him to take it in stride.

Miguel4659 − No, you made a judgment call based on what you felt was right. Your wife had not discussed such an arrangement in the past so you were right to do what you did.

MrsJonesy2012 − Right or wrong to spend the night, it was a nice offer, you politely declined. Nothing wrong in that. I get your wife preferring you to have been safe though.The laugh/snort as she walked away when you asked the question about being worried spending the night with a bunch of 23year olds.

I would have done the same to my husband. Not because he's not attractive but because the thought of him cheating on me is completely laughable. He would have to be suffering from a tumour or something to even entertain the idea and risk throwing away our family. So I honestly wouldn't worry about her reaction, seems like she trusts you.

No_Deer_7062 − I feel like she snorted because she knew you wouldn't cheat rather than it being a physical appearance thing

ZacBalZac − Could've called her that day and brought her in on the decision, communication is key, but I have feeling her answer might not match, she probably would've at least been unsure, and wanted you home.

seanbob23 − That just means they like you but you had character for not wanting anyone to view you as being a creep. Or any chance of even the idea of anything inappropriate. I think you made an ethical choice if not the smart one. A motel or hotel may have been a better choice depending on finances. But I respect you for it

RIhawk − You were 100% correct. You’re married, even if nothing would happen, you don’t put yourself in those situations.

[Reddit User] − Always better to play it safe. Who knows maybe if you’d stayed things would have been different. I would have declined the offer myself.

joggingdaytime − You guys have simply got to start talking to your partners lol. “Hey honey, why did you laugh about that thing? Seems silly but it kinda stung because it seemed like you were implying i’m not attractive” really really easy, promise your wife’s gonna be nice 

[Reddit User] − You sound like an honorable man and I respect it.

IamAustinCG −

My wife would have said the same thing lol. That said in todays world getting snowed in with a group of 23 year olds you don't know would be more uncomfortable than driving in snow for an hour. Additionally its a judgement call and you made the one you felt most comfortable about.

This snowy saga spins a tale of loyalty, pride, and the quirky dance of marriage. The Redditor’s blizzard trek home, fueled by duty and a touch of stubbornness, sparks questions about trust and tough calls.

How do you balance safety, pride, and partnership in a pinch? Share your stories below—what would you do when faced with a storm, literal or not?

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