UPDATE WIBTA if I don’t give my late bf’s house to his parents?

In the haze of grief, a man stands at a crossroads, holding the keys to a house filled with memories of his late boyfriend, lost to bone cancer. The boyfriend’s parents, who cast him out at 17 for being gay, now demand the home, claiming it as their right. After months of soul-searching, he offers to sell it at cost—a nod to his partner’s forgiving heart, but a firm stand against their entitlement. Their reluctant acceptance and a photobook gesture leave him to mourn alone, free but scarred.

This Reddit update weaves a tale of love, loss, and tough calls, where honoring a partner’s wishes clashes with family betrayal. Readers might feel his quiet resolve, torn between generosity and justice. For those who want to read the previous part: WIBTA if I don’t give my late bf’s house to his parents? It’s a gripping story of navigating grief while facing those who failed to show up.

‘UPDATE WIBTA if I don’t give my late bf’s house to his parents?’

Back when I posted the story, I was in a really bad place and everything was convoluted, I can't tell you how hard it was for me to get to a decision. A lot of people told me to take some time to think about it,

but I really want to thank u/MizSaftigJ when I was logging out from reddit back in the day, I saw their response and it lived rent free in my head for almost a week, that helped me decided to take my time before make any decision regarding the house.

So I decided to wait until I felt I was able to think clearly. It took me a few months; it was hard, his parents kept bothering me with calls and emails about the house, they even hired a lawyer to talk to me about it, but my own lawyer told them all to f**k off, they hadn't any leg to stand on if that would have gone to a judge.

Back in January I finally felt able to make any decision, I told them that I was going to sell them the house for the original price my BF bought it, I would still lost some money but was the best course of action for me, and that that was my last offer.

They refuse it, telling that I should be a better person and let them get the house for less (they didn't even dare to call me his boyfriend, just a

Back in February they reached out to me again, asking if my proposal was still on the table, I would have loved to tell them no but I know my BF wanted them to live there, so I told them yes but they had to decided within a week, it wasn't necessary, they accepted right away.

So I let my lawyer handled the selling, I didn't want to see them no more; I got surprised when my lawyer handled me a photobook of him as kid and pre-teen, looks like it was their way of trying to acknowledge their son's life.

Is the only thing for what I'm grateful for to them. A few weeks ago was my BF's one year memorial, they didn't show up, so I can move on with my life without them bothering me no more.. Thanks again for all the comments and DM, you guys are awesome.

This man’s decision is a masterclass in balancing love and self-respect amid raw grief. The parents’ demands, after years of rejecting their son, smack of opportunism, not remorse. Selling the house at cost honored his boyfriend’s hopes without rewarding their neglect. Dr. Pauline Boss, an expert on ambiguous loss, says, “Estrangement complicates grief, leaving unresolved pain that shapes tough choices” (source). His compromise reflects loyalty to his partner’s kindness while shielding his own heart.

Family estrangement is rising—20% of adults report such rifts (source). The parents’ absence at the memorial and their refusal to acknowledge his identity reveal a shallow bid for assets, not reconciliation. The photobook, while touching, feels like a belated crumb.

Boss advocates for rituals to process grief. He could create a private tribute to his boyfriend, perhaps with the photobook, to find closure. Readers, how do you honor lost loved ones? Moving forward, therapy might help him heal, while setting firm boundaries with the parents ensures peace. Selling the house was a generous act—now it’s time to prioritize his own recovery.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit’s squad rallied around this update like a virtual hug, dishing out praise, heartbreak, and a pinch of outrage. Imagine a campfire circle where everyone’s dissecting his choice, from cheering his grace to slamming the parents’ gall. Here’s the unfiltered scoop, packed with warmth and a splash of shade.

Leviosapatronis − I'm glad you're at peace with your decision and can move on. Best of luck to you!

blueyedwineaux − OP, you too nice for this planet. Bless you!

MicroeconomicBunsen − I mean if you’re happy, cool, but it sounds like your boyfriends’ parents screwed you out of a house at your loss.

Jujubee7683 − This seems like a wonderful way to balance your BF’s hopes without giving in to the bullying, and to move on with the freedom of knowing you did a hard thing well.  I hope great joy and peace lie ahead for you, as you remember your BF and move forward through life. 

mioclio − This is the comment OP referred to: I'm glad you took time to do what felt right in your heart. If you had given them the house right away and had waited for them to show up to the one year memorial your heart would probably been broken yet again.

The most positive explanation for them not showing up that I can think of is fear to become an unwanted focus. I'm guessing that all the people who were there knew what happened between your partner and his family and perhaps several people are in a similar situation.

You have fortunately been able to evict them from your head, but for other people it could have felt like them dancing on your partner's grave and humiliating him one last time, even if that genuinely wouldn't have been their intention. But now you were able to celebrate him and grief his passing with the people who were there when it mattered.

His family giving you the photo album was kind, I do hope they have kept a few photos themselves though. They have their own loss to grief, and unlike you they can't find comfort in knowing they did the right thing and loved and cared for your partner. They have to live with abandoning him, even when they knew how unwell he was. I hope they truly regret what they did.

FakeTaxiCab − He died without his parents ever apologizing or acknowledging him. And now they have a home off his back.. Horrible.

kajeyn − If you are comfortable with your decision then that is all that matters. But in my opinion they should have gotten nothing, you say he would have given them the house if they would just have accepted him....

but they never actually did, not through his life, sickness or even death. They swooped in after his death demanding that this was what he would have wanted, but never really caring about him only what they could get from his death.... in my opinion they deserve nothing.....

No-Sea1173 − I'm so proud of you. Doing that was a wonderful way to honor his memory, and his life.  Whatever else happens in the future, you made a good decision - you chose to put aside anger and spite, and to be kind and generous. . I wish you peace, and a long happy life filled with love and hopefully romance, when you're ready. 

Fianna9 − I hope you can find some peace. You’ve walked a fine line- your boyfriend did want his family taken care of and you are helping with that. But they didn’t deserve to inherit his house. They didn’t love him when they should have. You did. You and yours gave him the love and support he deserved.

stophittingthyself − What a heartbreaking update. In the first post it was stated that he only wanted his parents to have the house/live with him if it would

These Redditors are all heart, lauding his strength or cursing the parents’ gain. But do their takes fully grasp the tangle of grief and duty, or are they just rooting for the hero? One thing’s certain—this tale of loss and resolve has everyone stirred up.

This wrenching story leaves us pondering: how do you honor a loved one’s wishes when it means giving to those who hurt them? His decision to sell the house was a delicate dance of love and boundaries, but it cost him emotionally. Ever faced a choice where grief and fairness collided? Share your thoughts below—let’s dive into this bittersweet saga and unpack what’s right!

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