[UPDATE] To – My (41F) husband (52M) has a second family on the side

Step into a charged living room, where a 41-year-old woman stands firm, armed with evidence as she forces her husband of 21 years to admit to a three-year affair and a secret family. His denials crumble under her relentless proof, sparking a marathon argument, tearful pleas, and his eventual exit to his parents’ home. Undeterred, she confronts his mistress, uncovering the depth of his financial betrayal and her own strength as a business partner and wife.

With divorce proceedings underway and her resolve hardened, she’s poised to reclaim what’s hers, but the emotional toll lingers. Is she right to reject his pleas for forgiveness, or should she consider reconciliation? Let’s dive into this Reddit update, where betrayal meets empowerment in a fight for justice.

For those who want to read the previous part: Original post

‘[Update] to – My (41F) husband (52F) has a second family on the side’

Firstly, thank you all for your kindness and for all the great advice you’ve given me. I am truly grateful! The past couple weeks have been a whirlwind of emotions. I have been able to engage the services of a great divorce lawyer and I was advised to not let my husband know that I knew of his affair.

I was then finally given the go ahead a few days ago, and well at first he refused to admit to anything, but I was prepared for that and I showed him all the online posts his mistress made. I also showed him pictures taken by my investigator. He still denied it. Then accused me of being insane.

Then after hours of me just throwing evidence after evidence at him, he finally admitted to the affair. He tried to twist things so that he could weasel and lie his way out of it but I was relentless. I did not let him twist reality and make me doubt the plain truth. We argued all day and all night, it was exhausting.

The next morning he tried to get on my good side because I woke up to him having made breakfast and he was begging me to not hate him and to find it in my heart to forgive. I told him I could not and that I wanted a divorce. That brought on the waterworks and he called me a heartless and a unforgiving b**ch. He then left to take his things to his parents house as I had asked him to leave.

While he was at his parents I went to his mistress’s home. My sister went with me (she waited in the car) and well she let me in and we talked. She wasn’t even surprised I was there (I had already suspected she was aware of him being a married man but I still gave her the benefit of the doubt).

She was actually gloating when she told me about how in love he is with her, how good he is to her boys and how he bought her the house, the car and all the other money he spent on her. She then told me if I wasn’t such a lazy b**ch and gold digger he wouldn’t have been so easily taken

and how my lack of submission and servitude was the reason he cheated (how am I a lazy b**ch when I’m the primary parent and homemaker is beyond me and how am I a golddigger I don’t understand as I work and earn more than him). As she was flapping her gums, he arrived and he was pissed off at her.

(he was calling me a ton and I had texted him that I was at the mistress’s house) They argued as he told her not to speak to me like that and he in no uncertain terms told her that he wants to be with me, that she’s ruining his chance at saving his marriage. I just thanked her for being forthcoming and continued to laugh my way out of the house because yes my husband makes great money

but as his business partner I own half of his business and as his wife I own half of all his other asset’s. So I am glad that she gloated and that she confirmed that he paid for most of what she has. Now I know for certain that he nor she deserve an ounce of my sympathy, and I will take back everything he ever gave her, and much more!

The discovery of a secret family is a catastrophic breach of trust, and this husband’s sustained deception—coupled with financial infidelity—compounds the injury. His initial denial and gaslighting, followed by insults when cornered, reveal a pattern of manipulation, while the mistress’s gloating confirms her complicity.

Relationship therapist Dr. Shirley Glass notes, “Infidelity involving a parallel life often leaves no path to reconciliation without radical accountability” (Not Just Friends). The wife’s strategic approach—gathering evidence, hiring a lawyer, and confronting both parties—demonstrates resilience and clarity in a crisis.

This reflects a broader issue: financial betrayal in affairs can destabilize a spouse’s future, particularly when marital assets fund a second life. A 2022 study in the Journal of Family and Economic Issues found 70% of divorces involving infidelity cite financial misconduct as a key factor (Springer Link).

Reddit’s call for a forensic accountant and legal action aligns with protecting the wife’s stake in their shared business and assets, including the mistress’s house and car, which may be traceable to marital funds. The husband’s attempt to salvage the marriage, juxtaposed with his spending on the mistress, lacks sincerity.

Dr. Glass advises “prioritizing self-protection and emotional clarity post-betrayal.” The wife’s decision to pursue divorce, backed by her lawyer and sister, is a powerful reclaiming of agency. She should continue documenting the mistress’s admissions and consult a forensic accountant to trace diverted funds. Therapy could help her and her daughters navigate the fallout, especially given their shared loss of a son. Her laughter exiting the mistress’s home signals strength, but ongoing support will be crucial.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit cheered the wife’s resolve, offering practical tips and fiery support while condemning the husband and mistress. Here’s the community’s unfiltered response to this dramatic showdown.

WolverineNo8799 − I hope that your divorce attorney has a field day with him. The day his AP gets booted out of the house he bought her will be a great day. Enjoy taking back what is rightfully yours.. Updateme!

Typical_Agency8984 − Hire a forensic accountant ASAP.

Material_Cellist4133 − Definitely use the fact that he paid for all those things in the divorce to get money back. Those were martial assets he spent on his affair partner.. UpdateMe!

Extension_Accident47 − So you own half her house and car? Get everything your entitled to and make her homeless. Glad you had the legal side before blowing up their lives.

Every_Carpet904 − Way to go! I wish you all the best with moving forward. Gold digger?! She’s the one who had someone else pay for her house and car! Stay on the high road, do what your attorney says, and walk forward with pride and confidence. You have many people cheering for you.

[Reddit User] − Congratulations or condolences are in order. It’s sad that it was truly the worst type of betrayal yet great that you did reach the truth and acted on it. Please up date when the dust is settled and the divorce is ironed out. I have no sympathy for your STBX and I hope you are way more satisfied with the settlement than he is.

D-redditAvenger − Your husband is a s**iopath. You should be extremely careful, you may be in more danger then you think. If I were you I would go stay with family where you know you will be safe. Who knows what that guy is capable of.

Bonnm42 − Whooo!! Go OP! Take them both for everything you can. What a pair those two POS make!. INFO: How did your Daughters take the news about their Father cheating and have they reacted to him yet?. Updateme!

giag27 − You go girl… take him to the friggen cleaners!!!!! Rooting for you!

Ihateyou1975 − This is very similar to the show on Apple TV called i**asion. She caught her man cheating when she saw her husbands back in the mistresses background as she presented her recipes. And they were planning a baby etc etc. life is weird.

These Reddit reactions are fierce, but do they capture the full story? Perhaps the husband’s desperation reflects genuine regret, or the wife’s ownership of assets is her ultimate triumph.

This story of evidence, confrontations, and a mistress’s gloating poses a searing question: when does betrayal justify taking everything back? The wife’s journey from shock to strategic action isn’t just about divorce—it’s about rewriting her future on her terms. Marriage demands loyalty, not secret families funded by shared dreams. If you faced a partner’s hidden life, would you fight for every asset or walk away with your peace? Share your thoughts below and let’s unpack this electrifying Reddit update!

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