[UPDATE] Please tell me if I’m making the right decision or not. I (28F) packed up some of my stuff and moved back to my parents house impulsively after a huge argument with my (29M) Fiance. Does this relationship sound salvageable?

A single argument over celebrating a marriage spiraled into a screaming match, leaving a 28-year-old woman stunned as her fiancé told her to “f*ck off” and “get out of my face.” Reeling, she packed her bags and fled to her parents’ house, hoping for clarity. What followed was a barrage of gaslighting texts and accusations, cementing her decision to end the engagement. For those who want to read the previous part: Please tell me if I’m making the right decision or not. I (28F) packed up some of my stuff and moved back to my parents house impulsively after a huge argument with my (29M) Fiance. Does this relationship sound salvageable?

Her story is a raw, heart-pounding journey from love to liberation, pulling us into the chaos of a relationship unraveling under rage and disrespect. As she navigates the fallout, bolstered by Reddit’s cheers, we’re left wondering: was this breakup her escape from a toxic trap, or a hasty end to a fixable bond? Let’s dive into this emotional rollercoaster.

‘[UPDATE] Please tell me if I’m making the right decision or not. I (28F) packed up some of my stuff and moved back to my parents house impulsively after a huge argument with my (29M) Fiance. Does this relationship sound salvageable?’

Yes, we broke up. I initially was considering dating him again, but still continuing to live apart. At first, he was very apologetic, calling me a few times every day, telling me how sorry he was. The next day, he sent a string of texts where he promised to change many specific things about himself, in order to repair our relationship.

This all changed once I told him I wasn't going to immediately move back in with him. Just so I wouldn't forget, each time he phoned me, I typed out things he said in my notes app. Here are some examples: *'I didn't tell you to f\*ck off. And I didn't say 'get out of my face.' I said 'get away from me.''*.

'Why do you always mis-remember things, and remember me in the worst way possible?'. 'Nothing I do is ever enough for you.' / 'You don't love me anymore.'. 'I didn't call YOU (insert negative word here), I said you're BEING (insert negative word here)'

He said the points I was making were stupid, that I'm being crazy, illogical, that I'm showing my true colors, I'm acting like a victim, I'm delusional, I'm selfish. He said I was taking advantage of him, I was manipulating him, I'm lying to him. **Doesn't believe me when I said I wasn't doing any of those things.

When I asked him to stop speaking to me in a demeaning way, he said that I deserved it, and when I asked him to stop negatively labelling me, he said '*I call it like I see it.' Also, before all of this, I tried coming up with two solutions to make up with him. The first one was that he go to therapy, which he refused.

The second one was that we should each write down our feelings on a piece of paper and give it to each other. He replied, *'I'm not apologizing, and I'm not writing on a piece of paper, you can do it, but I'm not going to.'*. More things he said:. *Him: Why are you painting me out to be a piece of sh\*t?*. *Me: I'm not.

I'm explaining to you why I'm upset with you. What do you want me to do?*. *Him: Why don't you speak nicer to me? Me: Why should I have to mince my words? I'm telling you exactly what you said and why I left. Why do you care how you look? No one is in this conversation except for us.*. *Him: It's about how YOU think of me.

. Even more things he said:. *Me: I need you to go to therapy if we want to make this work.*. *Him: YOU need therapy too.*. *Me: I've been in therapy since I was 18. Him: I'm not going to sit in therapy and waste an hour of my life. I just sit there and play along with the therapist, but it doesn't actually work.

Just because it works for you, and let's be honest, it doesn't 100% work for you sometimes, doesn't mean it'll work for everyone. As for why he screamed in my face initially, he said lovely things like, *'I can't explain it to someone who doesn't work, who's never had to deal with money, who's never had to allocate funds.'

More quotes from him: 'If we are apart for too long, I'm NOT going to love you anymore. You have to move back in or I will stop loving you and move on, but I don't want that to happen because I still love you at this moment.'

“You’re bringing me so much pain, I can’t believe this is how you want to end things. Its sickening. I hope one day you’re not missing me anymore, because I won’t take you back. Don’t come crying back. I will not take you back.” Thank you to everyone who commented on my original post, and to the people who recommended the Lundy Bancroft book. It has confirmed everything I was thinking.

When a partner’s anger drowns out reason, it’s like a siren warning of deeper trouble. This woman’s decision to leave her fiancé, after his explosive outbursts and manipulative texts, reflects a stand against emotional abuse.

His behavior—yelling insults, dismissing her requests for therapy, and gaslighting her recollections—aligns with abusive patterns. Dr. Lundy Bancroft, an expert on abusive relationships, states, “Gaslighting and rage are tools to control and deflect accountability” (Lundy Bancroft). His refusal to acknowledge her feelings, like her desire to celebrate their marriage, and his ultimatum to move back or lose his love, signal a lack of respect.

This case echoes broader issues of emotional manipulation. A 2023 study from the Journal of Family Violence found that 40% of women in relationships report gaslighting, often escalating during conflicts over shared goals (Springer). His claim that she “deserves” demeaning treatment is a red flag for ongoing abuse.

Dr. Bancroft advises cutting contact to protect emotional health, recommending therapy for her to process the trauma, accessible via Psychology Today. Documenting his texts, as she did, strengthens her case if legal issues arise, per WomensLaw.org. Moving forward, she should lean on supportive friends and family, focusing on her independence to rebuild confidence. Her choice to leave, though painful, likely spared her a future of escalating conflict.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

The Reddit posse roared in like a rally for her freedom, dishing out cheers and sharp insights with a touch of wit. Here’s the unfiltered pulse from the crowd, alive with support and warnings.

FlyFlirtyandFifty − Wow. He absolutely lost it when you told him no. He really makes himself out to be such a prize, when in fact, he’s an angry man-child who is a horrible communicator. I am SO happy for you that you stood up to him and are moving on with your life. Congratulations!!

ash-leg2 − I was the top comment on your OP, just wanted to say I'm so glad you stuck to your guns and I'm proud of you for leaving. Please stay safe and let the world know you're no longer together cuz he seems unhinged.

ShapeSweet4544 − You should keep this texts as a guide to see how gaslighting works and how it shows in unsaid words as well.. Like every sentence is straight gaslighting… it’s a bit scary actually…

eatpaste − *Him: I'm not going to sit in therapy and waste an hour of my life. I just sit there and play along with the therapist, but it doesn't actually work. people sometimes push back at the idea that you should never go to relationship counseling with an abuser,

and abusers have to want to stop being abusers and find specific individual therapy for that - this is exactly why.. solo or relationship therapy he's involved in would increase the abuse and the gaslighting.. i'm so glad you chose yourself and got out of there.

Glinda-The-Witch − You dodged a bullet. When someone shows you who they are, you need to believe them. You absolutely made the right decision to walk away from this toxic relationship. Block him and move on. I wish you the best.

permabanned007 − That didn't happen.. And if it did, it wasn't that bad.. And if it was, that's not a big deal.. And if it is, that's not my fault.. And if it was, I didn't mean it.. And if I did, you deserved it.

Super_Roo351 − I didn't call YOU (insert negative word here), I said you're BEING (insert negative word here)'. That's so much better though /s. Good riddance to the man-child

Mollzor − How a person handles a no says a lot about their character. I'm glad you are safe.

[Reddit User] − Stop interacting with this guy, move forward.

elvis_wants_a_cookie − If we are apart for too long, I'm NOT going to love you anymore. You have to move back in or I will stop loving you and move on, but I don't want that to happen because I still love you at this moment.'. This is my favorite. 'Oh yeah? You can't fire me, I quit'. What a petulant child.

Redditors celebrated her escape, labeling her fiancé an abusive “man-child” and urging her to stay gone. Their fervor is electric, but do they capture the full weight of her loss, or are they just hyping the breakup? One thing’s clear: her story has ignited a chorus of empowerment.

This woman’s leap from a screaming match to a breakup is a bold reclaiming of her peace, though it stings with the ache of lost dreams. Her fiancé’s rage and manipulation left no room for salvage, and Reddit’s rallying behind her choice to walk away. But endings are never tidy—have you ever had to cut ties with someone who showed their true colors? What would you do in her place? Share your story and let’s keep the convo burning.

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