Update on Girlfriend seeing single male “friend”?

A quiet morning chat turned into a gut punch for a man when his girlfriend announced she’s meeting another guy—not for coffee, but a full-on dinner. Her insistence that it’s just a friendly catch-up clashes with his nagging suspicion that it’s a date, especially given her history of blurring lines with a past “friend.”

Their cozy apartment now hums with tension as he wrestles with trust and boundaries. Her offer to set limits feels hollow when she dismisses his fears as controlling. This isn’t just about a meal—it’s a simmering stew of doubt and devotion. As Friday’s dinner looms, we step into a story of love tested by secrets and the blurry edges of friendship.

For those who want to read the previous part: on Girlfriend seeing single male “friend”?

‘Update on Girlfriend seeing single male “friend”?’

So I got a lot of interest in this post and I've got an update. My GF told me this morning that she's meeting the other man this coming Friday, but not for a coffee as I originally thought, but for a meal.

She did keep saying to me are there any boundaries that I could put in place, e.g, how long she could be out with him, to make me feel more comfortable with the situation, which I replied

I also told her that this other man will see this as a date, which she disagreed with. She is very naive as she had another male friend for 10 years while she was in a previous relationship, and as soon as she split with her ex the friend slept with her.

She struggled to understand he was only her friend for that long to sleep with her. I feel like this current situation is extremely similar. I honestly still don't know how to feel about this situation but will hopefully have a clearer idea on Friday of what I need to do.. I'll post another update next weekend.

A man’s unease over his girlfriend’s dinner with another man is a red flag waving in a storm of trust issues. Her dismissal of his concerns as controlling, despite her history of a “friend” turning romantic post-breakup, suggests either naivety or intentional boundary-testing. His refusal to set limits reflects a fear of being ignored, not control.

Relationship boundaries need mutual respect: a 2023 Journal of Social and Personal Relationships study found 45% of couples face trust issues when one partner maintains close opposite-sex friendships. Therapist Dr. Esther Perel notes, “Transparency in relationships prevents suspicion; secrecy breeds doubt”.

He should clearly state that the dinner feels like a date and propose joining her to ease his mind. If she refuses, couples counseling could clarify intentions. She must prioritize his trust over her friend’s company to rebuild confidence.

His anger isn’t misplaced—her actions challenge their commitment. A frank talk about exclusivity, perhaps with a mediator, could reset boundaries. If she insists on going, he may need to reassess the relationship’s future to protect his self-respect.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit swooped in like a hawk, unanimously backing the boyfriend and declaring the girlfriend’s dinner a blatant date. They scoffed at her “naive” label, pointing to her past where a long-time friend became a fling post-breakup, suggesting she’s lining up a backup.

Commenters urged him to set a hard boundary—end the relationship if she goes—or join the dinner to call her bluff. The consensus? She’s disrespecting him, and he deserves a partner who values trust.

Fickle_Grapefruit938 − Tag along, shouldn't be a problem since it's not a date.

davlar4 − She’s not naive bro 👍

WolverineNo8799 − Just be truthful with her and tell her that if she goes on this date with another man, then your relationship is over. She knows perfectly well that it's a date, and she knows that you aren't happy with it. D**p her and find a faithful girlfriend.. Updateme!

Thedudeabides470 − The limitation you put on it is she doesn’t go at all. That’s not controlling. You don’t restrain her from going you’re just not going to be there when she comes back.

Mikethemanc86 − and as soon as she split with her ex the friend slept with her Sorry mate, but the wording of this is off too. The friend didn't sleep with her, she slept with him as soon as she split with the ex. This in itself shows that she isn't as naïve as you may think...

giag27 − Why is she still your girlfriend? Geez. Move on.

canal_boys − She is not naive. She knows exactly what she's going because she went through this same situation before. She's setting up the guy as her backup when she breaks-up with you. She seems like the type who always needs someone to lay with..

[Reddit User] − Your girlfriend has labeled you her

UnethicalTesticle − Dang, bro. Sorry this is happening. This is 100% a date with him. I don’t think she’s being naive. I think she knows what it is and she’s seeing what she can get away with.

You better be gone when she gets back from that date. There are plenty of women who won’t insist on gong on dates with other people while in a committed relationship. Good luck to you.

Awesome_one_forever − It's obviously a date.

This wasn’t just about a dinner—it was about a girlfriend’s choices cracking the trust that holds a relationship together. His simmering anger, fueled by her past and present dismissals, underscores the fragility of love without transparency.

As Friday approaches, it’s a reminder that relationships thrive on mutual respect, not solo plans that spark doubt. Ever faced a partner’s “friendship” that felt like more? Share your story—what’s your key to keeping trust intact?

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