[UPDATE] No longer cooking for my girlfriend.

The faint sizzle of an omelette in a cramped apartment kitchen carries more than the scent of eggs—it’s laden with the weight of unspoken grudges. What began as a simple disagreement over a plate of pasta has spiraled into a full-blown culinary cold war between a Reddit user and his girlfriend. Her sharp accusations of greed and his stubborn silence over a single-serving curry paint a scene of mounting tension, where every meal feels like a test of loyalty.

This isn’t just about who eats what—it’s a snapshot of a relationship teetering on the edge of petty pride. As plates remain divided, readers are left wondering if this couple can find a recipe for reconciliation or if their shared dinners are cooked for good.

For those who want to read the previous part: Original post

‘[UPDATE] No longer cooking for my girlfriend.’

Wednesday after I served the plates, my girlfriend said she didn't want pasta and was going to make a salad. I was pretty sure she was going to do this, and it didn't bother me. I waited for her to come back to start eating, and when she sat down I tried to talk to her about her day.

She asked if I was trying to make a point. I asked what she meant. She asked if I cared that she wasn't going to eat what I made. I said that I didn't and would have it for lunch. She got frustrated, focused on her salad and wouldn't engage with me. After dinner, I said we shouldn't make dinner for each other anymore.

She asked why I thought that, and I said it's clear that she gets upset when she makes food for someone and they don't eat it. It would be better for us just to make separate meals so we each know we will get what we want and no one's feelings would be hurt.

She said it wasn't okay for me to make a unilateral decision about our relationship. I said that I wasn't, but I didn't want to cook for her anymore or have her cook for me if it was going to make her upset. We kind of went round and round on it, until the conversation petered out.

She texted me at work Thursday that she was going to make salmon. I decided that if she tried to cook for me I would just let her so she'd feel like she won one over on me and we'd draw a line under this. She ended up making salmon only for herself, which I was surprised by, because I was expecting her to try to convince me to have some.

I made myself a quick omelette and sat down with her. She asked if I was upset she didn't cook for me, and I said no. Again, she accused me of making a point. She asked if I was going to cook for her Friday, and I said no. She was put out. Friday she was upset that I made only enough curry for one person and called me greedy. At this point I'm over it all, so I just ignored her.

This couple’s culinary clash has morphed into a textbook case of relationship gridlock, where plates of salmon and curry mask deeper issues of validation and respect. The Reddit user’s decision to cook solo might seem practical, but it’s a spark in a powder keg of unspoken emotions. His girlfriend’s accusations—calling him “greedy”—reveal her hurt, yet her own solo salmon stunt mirrors his detachment, trapping them in a cycle of tit-for-tat.

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This dynamic isn’t unique. A 2023 study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that 65% of couples report small daily conflicts, like those over household tasks, escalating due to poor communication. Here, the couple’s failure to address underlying feelings fuels their standoff.

Relationship therapist Esther Perel offers insight: “Conflict is a chance to understand your partner’s needs, not a battle to win”. The Reddit user’s unilateral move to stop cooking dismissed his girlfriend’s need for connection through shared meals, while her passive-aggressive responses dodge honest dialogue. Both are choosing pride over progress.

To break this cycle, they could try a simple fix: sit down, sans food, and share what meals mean to each of them. Planning a weekly menu together could rebuild trust, ensuring both feel heard.

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Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit’s armchair experts didn’t mince words, dishing out a mix of tough love and sharp wit. From calls to “grow up” to warnings of a looming breakup, the community sees this food fight as a symptom of bigger issues. Here’s a taste of their unfiltered takes:

UNLV702_ - This is stupid man. Just put your ego aside and hash it out. It’s not worth deteriorating a relationship over.

KagomeChan - You can stick to your guns.. You'll lose the relationship, but if it's really worth it to you, keep doing what you're doing.. But you do realize this isn't about the food at all, right? You hurt her feelings and showed zero remorse. She's trying to repeat your actions to you so that you can empathize with where she's coming from.

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Instead you're choosing to go out of your way to keep making separate meals so you can pretend those feelings weren't valid.. And you were rude. You should have apologized..Couples share meals. Maybe not every meal, but most, when they are in the same location.

So you can keep stubbornly making separate meals (which is obviously not what she wants), but you won't stay a couple. Mostly because it emphasizes on a daily basis how little you care about her feelings.. But hey, you do you.

KhaleesiMounter - ESH. Just break up already.

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Artistic_Accident_79 - After reading your original post, you're pretty much the AH. If someone makes the effort to make you food, you don't pull your face up and complain.. I wouldn't want to cook for you again either.

But on the other hand, your girlfriend is being petty with how she is behaving. Clearly you both don't see eye to eye when it comes to food. Think it's best you both make your own meals from now on.. So my comclusion:. ESH

rlhignett - Info: how old are you both? If your over the age of 22 y'all need to grow the f**k up. A relationship isn't about who wins or who bests the other or getting one over on the other. It's not a competition. You're both being petty as f**k. If you're in a position to, get some councilling defo as a couple, and if you can individually.

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Fiigwort - You both sound so annoying, she keeps deliberately trying to get a rise out of you, and you just keep pretending as though you're being totally reasonable and level-headed instead of just ... talking about it?

Like you could have just apologised, explained that you didn't mean to upset her and that you just wanted something warm, but instead you've trapped the both of you in this dumb back and forth. You're insufferable

Farvas-Cola - Orignial post:.

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FatherOfLights88 - If 'dinner' is causing this much commotion and games being played, I'm concerned over what would happen were a real issue to arise.. This is beyond childish.

butwhatififly_ - Here’s the thing. It looks like I won’t get much support here — but it was fairly unilateral in the judgment post that he was TA because of how he handled it, not because he wanted to eat something else. And that OP should communicate with his partner.

So what did he do here? He communicated. Now he did make an extreme decision, which is clearly having an effect, but he was right, she WAS getting upset if he didn’t want to eat what she made. And she just proved his point.. She is being a child.

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Now, could he have handled it with a different solution like “why don’t we plan a menu ahead of the week” or something? Sure. Would that have been probably a more pleasant outcome for his partner? Sure. But she’s an adult, she could have suggested it as well.

IMHO OP handled this fine, and she’s just as able to communicate as he is. If nothing else, her making salmon for one and then getting huffy and puffy that he wasn’t annoyed he had to make dinner for himself completely illustrated how passive aggressive she is being.

This is where SHE needs to grow up and work on some sort of a compromised resolution if she’s unhappy. I mean this likely all moot because it sounds like this is garnering resentment and it will likely not end well, but come on. This is not on OP alone. He did his part of communicating and she is being a brat.. I hope you read this OP.

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Catacombs3 - YTA. Your gf is clearly upset about this, even if you aren't. If her feelings matter to you, you need to find a way to make both of you happy. You started this fight by making a face when she tried to serve you a chicken salad. Since then, both of you have been trying to score points and 'win'. You need to decide if Being Right is worth the damage it is doing to your relationship.

These Reddit reactions are spicy, but do they serve up real solutions or just add fuel to the fire? One thing’s clear—this couple’s drama has the internet hooked.

What started as a simple pasta snub has cooked up a storm of resentment, leaving this couple’s kitchen colder than a forgotten salad. The Reddit user and his girlfriend are locked in a standoff, each wielding their spatula like a sword. Relationships thrive on compromise, not scorekeeping—can they find a way to share a table again? What would you do if every meal with your partner turned into a power struggle? Drop your thoughts and recipes for peace below!

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