[UPDATE] My ex’s (m31) new girlfriend (f23) is telling me I am causing problems in their relationship?

A week after silencing her phone to escape an unexpected social media storm, a 30-year-old woman found herself pulled back into the fray. What started as a laughable misunderstanding—her ex’s 23-year-old girlfriend accusing her of meddling in their relationship over a “Happy New Year” message—had morphed into something far more unsettling. The girlfriend’s latest move, a hostile Facebook message fixating on a forgotten LinkedIn connection, left the woman grappling with anxiety and disbelief, her peaceful life disrupted by a stranger’s obsession.

This saga, rooted in the tangled web of online interactions, paints a stark picture of jealousy run amok in the digital age. Caught between her fiancé’s advice to stay clear and Reddit’s push to confront the issue, the woman’s attempt to sever ties only seemed to fuel the girlfriend’s pursuit. It’s a tale that makes you rethink every unexamined “connection” on your profile.

For those who want to read the previous part: My ex’s (m31) new girlfriend (f23) is telling me I am causing problems in their relationship?

‘[UPDATE] My ex’s (m31) new girlfriend (f23) is telling me I am causing problems in their relationship?’

So I sat on this for a day or so, considering what I should do. There have been many comments pointing out how strange, insane and bad it is I stayed in contact with an ex, saying I must still have a thing for him. I honestly resent the implication, I see Vince much like a childhood friend, but some people were dead set on me being stuck on him.

Which is not neccessairly bad - it just made me see lots of people see it this way, so his girlfriend might as well. So I decided to remove myself from the situation completely, I don't want to be a bad guy and a 'homewrecker' in anyone's story. I blocked her on Instagram and blocked Vince as well.

And I also blocked Vince on Facebook. And I thought that was it. A week passed and I get ANOTHER message from this girl, this time on Facebook. I didn't block her there because I didn't even know her full name. This message was more hostile, now accusing me of not removing Vince from my LinkedIn connections as well.

And she felt that's how I'm still trying to 'keep track' of him. I almost never use LinkedIn and I completely forgot I even had him on there. I have never spoken to anyone on LinkedIn, other than a recruiter. I don't know.

This made my anxiety go through the roof. I blocked her on Facebook and removed Vince from my LinkedIn connections. And this is it for now. I just want this to be over and I want her to leave me alone.. I hope she doesn't also check his MySpace account. /s

The woman’s ordeal, now intensified by a second accusatory message, underscores how quickly digital misunderstandings can spiral into harassment. Her decision to block Vince and his girlfriend on Instagram and Facebook aimed to end the drama, but the girlfriend’s persistence—tracking her to Facebook and fixating on LinkedIn—reveals a troubling pattern of control. The woman’s anxiety reflects the toll of being targeted, while her minimal past contact with Vince hardly justifies the girlfriend’s fixation.

This situation mirrors a growing issue: online stalking fueled by relationship insecurity. A 2024 report by the Cyber Civil Rights Initiative notes that 1 in 5 young adults has experienced digital harassment from a partner or their associates, often tied to perceived threats on social media (https://www.cybercivilrights.org). The girlfriend’s behavior, escalating from requests to accusations, suggests deeper trust issues within her relationship with Vince, misdirected at the woman.

Relationship expert Dr. Esther Perel observes, “Jealousy is often less about the other person and more about the stories we tell ourselves” (https://www.estherperel.com). Here, the girlfriend’s fixation on LinkedIn connections—a platform the woman barely uses—seems to stem from imagined narratives rather than evidence. Her actions border on controlling, a red flag Vince may need to address.

The woman’s choice to block and remove connections was a sound move to protect her peace, but notifying Vince with screenshots could clarify the situation without direct engagement. To prevent similar issues, individuals might audit social media connections regularly and discuss boundaries with partners. Open communication about digital habits can diffuse insecurities before they escalate into confrontations.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit jumped back into the fray with a blend of humor and outrage, dissecting the girlfriend’s latest move with sharp commentary. Many urged the woman to inform Vince, suspecting he’s unaware of his girlfriend’s “unhinged” behavior, with some calling her actions outright obsessive.

Others criticized the girlfriend’s insecurity, questioning why she’s policing decade-old connections, while a few suggested the woman unblock Vince to shift the responsibility back to him. The MySpace quip drew chuckles, lightening the mood. These Reddit takes, laced with wit and frustration, highlight the community’s knack for calling out drama while offering practical, if sometimes petty, advice.

cadaverousbones − At this point I’d tell Vince 😂😂

Turbulent-Yam3617 − Unblock him on everything. This is his problem not yours. Why are you jumping through hoops for this l**atic

just47696 − At this point, tell Vince.. He probably doesn't know that she's doing this because this is p**cho behavior. Really?? Looking at linked in???. Shes batshit crazy

Disastrous-Sthe − You need to speak with Vince, cause he might not know that he's dating an unstable and insecure little girl. But I'm also thinking 🤔, why is Vince dating a barely out of college kid? Vince will wake up one day with no friends cause this little girl will have chased everyone away. MySpace line was funny! Hahaha

[Reddit User] − This sounds crazy, tbh. If she saw your messages on Insta, then she'd know it's only the bare minimum of a relationship there. And liking pictures doesn't mean you like the person and want to bang them. I'd send the messages to Vince and ask him to tell his fiance to leave you alone.

But I'd also send her a message asking her why she keeps harassing you, when you only dated him when you were 16 and you've long moved on and about to get married to someone else. Then tell her that you won't contact them ever again and to leave you alone.

Either the girlfriend is crazy, or Vince has been comparing you two during their relationship and the latest message took her over the edge. Either way, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.. Hope you get rid of him on MSN Messenger too.

bunnybunny690 − At this stage unblock Vince. Send him screenshots of his bunnyboiler and reblock him. Unblock her and wait for her explosion just for shits and giggles.

ImposterSyndrome412 − Why haven’t you told Vince,?

EngineeringDry7999 − Don’t let this crazy chick bully you out of a friend. She’s literally stalking you online at this point and doing her best to isolate you friend from people. That’s straight up abuser tactic 101. You blocked Vince all on this crazy girl’s tantrum.

Did you ever stop to consider how Vince might feel to discover his long time friend blocked him for no known reason? It does not matter what strangers think about remaining friends with an ex.

It only matters what you and Vince think. If it’s a problem for Vince’s relationship, that’s on Vince to manage. It’s not your responsibility to cater to his GF on this.. Block her and unblock Vince.

Ok_Yesterday_2884 − She’s unhinged. You need to tell him what’s going on.

kcd96dkr − I would tell her to not contact me again or I would reach out to Vince and let him how crazy she is. “Don’t contact me again or I will contact Vince and you will know what REAL stress and anxiety are 😘”. But I’m petty soooo

This escalating saga of LinkedIn accusations and blocked profiles reveals how digital connections can become battlegrounds for misplaced jealousy. The woman’s efforts to disengage, only to face further harassment, underscore the challenges of setting boundaries in a hyper-connected world.

It’s a stark reminder to tread carefully with online ties, as even dormant connections can spark conflict. Share your thoughts—how do you handle unexpected digital drama or navigate boundaries with exes online?

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