[UPDATE] My (29F) ex boyfriend (32M) moved out with daughter (6F). I am devastated and don’t know what to do?

In a world where heartbreak often lingers like a stubborn fog, a young woman finds a glimmer of hope amidst the chaos of a breakup. Her ex-boyfriend’s departure with his 6-year-old daughter, Sarah, left her reeling, but a recent heart-to-heart has sparked a path toward healing. This Reddit update, brimming with raw emotion, captures her journey to secure a lasting bond with the child she’s raised as her own, while navigating the fragile threads of a fractured relationship.

The story resonates with anyone who’s fought to hold onto family, chosen or otherwise. Her determination to prioritize Sarah, coupled with cautious optimism about reconciliation, pulls readers into a tale of resilience and love’s enduring pull. With stakes this tender, the narrative beckons us to explore how broken bonds can mend through shared commitment.

For those who want to read the previous part: My (29F) ex boyfriend (32M) moved out with his daughter (6F). I am devastated and don’t know what to do?.

‘[UPDATE] My (29F) ex boyfriend (32M) moved out with daughter (6F). I am devastated and don’t know what to do?’

Hey guys so I just wanted to update some of the people who commented and gave me some insight. All of your comments were really appreciated and definitely helped me think. So for the last week my ex has been staying with family when hes not at work and we have been sharing time with Sarah.

We met up this weekend to talk about everything and our life plan. He basically said that he does still love me, but that his schedule is just not something that can change for him anytime soon. I am trying to be understanding and supportive, because I do want to be with him and Sarah.

We are going to look into counseling for us as a couple, and also family counseling for the three of us. I did bring up legal adoption of Sarah. I was shocked when he said he was thinking of the same thing. He said that no matter what happens with us as a couple he always wants me to be a parental figure to Sarah.

We had both hoped that someday I would adopt her, we just didn't see us breaking up or it becoming an issue. I am so glad we are on the same page about that. I am over the moon and were going to meet with a lawyer on Friday to get the ball rolling on that. I am hoping that this relationship can be saved because I really do feel like I have a family with them.

My number one priority throughout this has been Sarah, and I am cant even explain how happy I am that I will get to legally be her parent. I know I wont ever be her mother but I'm glad that we will be together no matter what. Thanks Reddit! Sorry this is kind of all over the place. We're still figuring everything out, but I wanted to update!. tl;dr: We are going to start couples and family counseling, as well as beginning the process for legal adoption!

Edit: Thank you so much for all your comments. This got bigger than I expected. Thanks for all the kind words. To people think that I am being taken advantage of for free child care please realize that I've happily cared for Sarah for the last 5 years and have no problem continuing to do so. To whoever gilded me for this thank you so much!

This update shines with promise, as a woman and her ex align to prioritize Sarah’s stability after a painful breakup. Her fear of losing Sarah has softened with his support for legal adoption, a bold step to cement her parental role. Yet, the couple’s rocky path—strained by his demanding work schedule and her past frustrations—suggests that counseling will be key to sustaining this fragile truce. Both show a shared love for Sarah, but their romantic future remains uncertain.

This scenario highlights a broader issue: blended families navigating post-breakup dynamics. A 2022 report from the National Stepfamily Resource Center notes that 60% of step-parents maintain some contact with stepchildren post-separation, but legal recognition is rare (www.stepfamilies). Adoption could secure her role, though Reddit’s concerns about child support or future partners raise valid cautions.

Dr. Patricia Papernow, a stepfamily expert, advises, “Clear agreements and consistent communication are vital for step-parents to maintain meaningful roles” (stepfamilyrelationships.com). Here, the couple’s plan for counseling and legal consultation aligns with Papernow’s emphasis on structure. The woman’s focus on Sarah is noble, but balancing her own emotional health is crucial to avoid burnout.

Moving forward, they should formalize visitation and adoption terms with legal guidance, ensuring Sarah’s stability. Couples counseling could rebuild trust, but she must prioritize her well-being, as Reddit suggests, to parent effectively.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit’s community rallied with a mix of cheers and cautious advice, serving up reactions as varied as a family reunion. From heartfelt support to sobering reality checks, here’s what they shared—bold, thoughtful, and ready to fuel discussion.

sirboogiethecat − This is a good update. I really hope everything works out for the both of you. I'm so happy you talked about adopting Sarah and he agreed! Good luck with everything OP!

throwaway24515 − I'm glad you guys are on the same page about the daughter. I do worry about how this will go if you guys stay broken up and he later falls in love with someone who also becomes a mom/step-mom to the girl. Hopefully everyone is mature and has Sarah's best interests at heart. But be careful.

[Reddit User] − I want to give you a little bit of a reality check. This work schedule thing being too busy and you nagging him thing is an excuse. While it might be valid (he might be tired of your nagging) it sounds like the three of you have a family together. You're all but married in everything but name and legality.

I've recently started working 7 days a week 60-75 hours. Its necessary right now. My family wants to make a cross country move and I want to make sure we have a massive cushion of finances to move on. I'm busy as hell.

But I'd never divorce my wife because of it.He moved out. Either your nagging was off the charts annoying or there's something else going on here. You might want to consider that before you devote a bunch of time in relationship counseling trying to salvage this.

[Reddit User] − If you legally adopt Sarah but he maintains custody would you be required to pay child support?

jolie178923-15423435 − Oh, I am SO GLAD to hear the news about Sarah. That's wonderful! And yes, you will be her mother if you adopt her, right?

mongoosepepsi − My number one priority throughout this has been Sarah, and I am cant even explain how happy I am that I will get to legally be her parent. I am happy that this relationship will keep going and your boyfriend is discussing adoption with you! But this statement concerns me. Are you trying to keep the relationship alive just to stay with Sarah?

A strong couple and family has the strongest base when the parents are the stable foundation. I think it would be healthy for you to devote positive energy for your boyfriend as well. But also, stop thinking of yourself as an outcast to the family, you are part of the family. I think if you feel like you do belong, you won't use such exit-plannish phrases. Food for thought. Take care.

MegaTrain − Sounds like a positive update, and I certainly wish you the best of luck, but I'm skeptical that you would be allowed to legally adopt Sarah if you and your ex are not actually still together.. Maybe I'm wrong, but I'd encourage you to seek legal advice.

Even short of that, though, it still might be possible for you to get some legal rights (visitation more likely than custody), especially if your ex is cooperative. Judges will consider the best interest of the child, and since you've raised her for 5 of her 6 years, they should certainly take that into account.. Good luck.

Paula_Dank − My brother adopted his ex-wife's son before they divorced. They have shared custody and it works out perfectly. Good luck!

joepyeweed − The legalities of what you are proposing are going to be a lot more complicated than you think. There is a chance you could wind up paying child support to your ex-boyfriend in the future and only having visitation rights to your child.

theoppositeopinion1 − This is all great, but this is concerning:. My number one priority throughout this has been Sarah. Remember, parents always put each other first before the kids. I know that sounds wrong, but it's not. You can't be an effective parent if your relationship with your partner is bad and you're burnt out and stressed about everything.

You just can't, and it harms the kid more than anything. Please put your RELATIONSHIP first with the kid a close second. Kind of like in an airplane, you put your own mask on before the kids. As a parent, i know we all would rather die than see our kids hurt, but you can more effectively help your kid by staying alive and being the best person overall that you can be.

These Reddit voices are a lively bunch, but do they nail the heart of this update? Or are they missing the bigger picture?

This Reddit update weaves a tapestry of hope, love, and cautious steps forward, as a woman fights to secure her place in a child’s life while mending ties with her ex. With expert insights and Reddit’s vibrant commentary, we’re left marveling at the power of chosen family. Yet, questions linger: can love for a child bridge a broken relationship? What would you do to balance heart and practicality in her shoes? Drop your thoughts below and let’s keep this heartfelt convo alive!

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