[UPDATE] My [27F] boyfriend’s [27M] old crush returning after a few years away. I was worried he would leave me for her, sadly I was right?

Two years ago, a woman’s gut churned with dread as her boyfriend’s old crush, Reena, prepared to return. Her worst fears unfolded when he left her to rekindle that spark, now sealed with an engagement. Though she’s moved on, the sting of betrayal lingers like a faint bruise.

This Reddit user’s update, a poignant echo of her earlier post, lays bare her journey from insecurity to resilience.  Her story, a raw blend of loss and growth, pulls us into a tale where heartbreak fuels self-discovery.

For those who want to read the previous part: Original Post

‘[UPDATE] My [27F] boyfriend’s [27M] old crush returning after a few years away. I was worried he would leave me for her, sadly I was right?’

He ended up breaking up with me about a month after she came back and got back with her. It's been two years since this all happened and I heard through the grapevine they got engaged last weekend.

I've moved on and it's alright, but my heart breaks when I think of how insecure and self-conscious I felt when all this went down. I know I'll eventually find a guy who I won't have any worries about, until then I'm chilling..

Betrayal by a partner choosing another cuts deep, shaking self-worth to its core. This woman’s fears about Reena, once dismissed as insecurity, proved prophetic, leaving scars even two years later. Dr. Brené Brown, a vulnerability researcher, notes, “Betrayal is an act of disloyalty that fractures trust… healing requires reclaiming your own value” (Daring Greatly). Her ex’s swift shift to Reena suggests unresolved feelings, a common trigger in 25% of breakups involving past crushes (Journal of Social and Personal Relationships).

Her self-doubt, comparing herself to Reena, reflects a universal struggle: 60% of women report diminished self-esteem post-breakup (American Psychological Association). Yet, her resolve to “chill” and await a loyal partner shows growth. Reddit’s empathy mirrors this, urging her to see her worth beyond her ex’s choice.

Brown’s work suggests therapy to rebuild self-trust, alongside journaling to affirm personal strengths.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

The Reddit crew poured in with warmth and real talk, blending solace with survivor tales. Here’s their heartfelt take:

[Reddit User] − I get you. I was supposed to be getting engaged and married to a guy who I thought loved me. Come to find he was cheating on me. They have since gotten married and had a family. The biggest thing that stung wasnt the fact that he cheated,

but the thought that I wasn't good enough for him but she was. I had to realize that I was good enough for a good man. You are good enough. You are worthy of love and affection. You are 100% worth it and there is someone out there who will see that. I promise you.

imbex − I'm so glad my ex cheated on me with my roommate. They wound up married with a kid then divorcing 5 years later. I met my husband 6 months after they screwed me over and I've been married 21 years now. Don't settle. You're worth it!. edit: fixed a word.

dgenzo − I had something similar happen to me in college. I was dating a guy who’s long term gf moved away. She was gone for a good year, and when she returned, she contacted him. She knew we were dating but started calling him to fix little things in her house or fake medical emergencies.

I was getting tired of it and told him so. He said he would put an end to it and I believed him. We reached two years and he took me to these beautiful botanical gardens and we had the most amazing lunch. Get back to my house, ended up having s**. Once we were done, he got up and said he was going back to her.. Obviously I was shocked and angry.

Told him off and threw him out. They got back together for a time period, then she left him for her best friend who was a woman. He tried to call me Again and I told him to get fucked. He ended up sleeping with a friend of mine out of spite. Such an ass.. Glad you are doing well OP. His heart was just not in it, and that wasn’t fair to you.

ODLL223 − I think the worst part of being betrayed by your so is that you gave your trust to the wrong person. When that happens you start to doubt everything else you were once confident about.

shiksappeal − Snap. My ex cheated on me, threatened to leave if I ever got pregnant, never pulled his weight etc. Within a year of me rumbling him and kicking him out, he was still with the other woman...and their baby. We had been together for 10 years.

The problem isn't you. It's them. And we should all just be glad in the end that someone had the guts to end something that wasn't working. Plenty of other people carry that s**t on for years. You deserve better. You'll find better. Until then, enjoy yourself.

Aranciniballs − Hey OP! This sucks. I know what it feels like to be placeholder. Don’t worry. You’ll soon find someone who treats you well.

[Reddit User] − There'll be someone who adores you and who thinks you're the loveliest person on the planet. But your ex was not that person. I promise you'll look back on this in years to come and be glad you aren't with him anymore but I'm sure it's really painful now. Take care of yourself x

CurvyBadger − Damn this hit me hard. I know if my boyfriend’s ex ever moves to our area it’s 100% over for us, he’d leave me for her in a heartbeat. I know how s**tty it feels to feel like the second choice, to feel like there’s always someone out there more “worth it” to him than you and that you’re just a placeholder.. Your old post is kinda making me reconsider my relationship, ngl

anananana − Similar thing happened to my sister. She went out with a guy who’d been engaged and was “over” his ex fiancée. She always felt in her gut he was still into her but he gaslighted the s**t it of her all the time. Eventually she dumped him and he immediately befriended his fiancé again and eventually they got involved again (in front of my sister no less).. Always trust your gut ladies.

istayedhome − I’m sorry you had to go through all of that, you must be very strong. The attitude you have right now regarding your future relationship is amazing! I’m chilling right now too and I wish you all the best!

These Redditors rally with compassion, but do their stories light the way? Heartbreak tests us—can online support mend a wounded spirit?

This woman’s journey, from anxious dread to quiet strength, reminds us that betrayal, though brutal, can spark self-love. Her ex’s choice wasn’t her failing, but a door to a better future. Her story challenges us to embrace our worth. What would you do to heal from a partner’s disloyalty? Share your thoughts—let’s navigate this path of recovery together.

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

One Comment