[UPDATE] My (22f) Aunt (50f) might be getting baited by a guy she ‘met’ on instagram and I don’t know how to talk to her about it.

Jonathan Hours
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In a modest home where faded paintbrushes rest, a 50-year-old artist’s heart soared through Instagram’s vibrant pixels. Guided by her niece, she rediscovered her creative spark, sharing art with the world. But a charming stranger named Andy, with his chiseled jaw and Marine tales, painted a romance too vivid to resist. When the niece uncovered Andy’s true identity—a catfish stealing a model’s photos—the truth clashed with her aunt’s hopes, leaving the family grappling with a stubborn dream.

For those who want to read the previous part: Niece Fears Aunt’s Instagram ‘Fiancé’ Is a Catfish, Struggles to Warn Her.

This update isn’t just about a scam; it’s about the tug-of-war between love and reality. Readers might feel the niece’s ache, watching her aunt cling to a mirage. As the family navigates this digital deception, the story asks: how do you free someone enchanted by a lie?

‘[UPDATE] My (22f) Aunt (50f) might be getting baited by a guy she ‘met’ on instagram and I don’t know how to talk to her about it.’

After making the original post, I couldn't get the situation off my mind - it was driving me nuts and really just stressing me out. I talked it over with my mom, and asked my aunt to send me some pics of 'Andy'. She asked why, and I told her that I wanted to compare them to the painting of him she'd started. So I acquired the pictures, then did a reverse image search as many of you suggested.

Thank goodness she sent me more than one picture of the guy, because only the last one got a hit, but from there, it was smooth sailing. Turns out the REAL guy is a poplar instagram model. He's got info about him being a Marine, and having a dog with the same name as Andy's dog right in his bio. This dude was so lazy he just lifted the real man's basic info.

The DOG even has an instagram, and I found more photos Andy sent to her. And to make my life even easier, the real guy has a series of videos up in his Highlights section labeled 'SCAMMERS'. I watched them and basically it was him addressing what to do if someone is being catfished with his pics. I was super nervous, but confident I had what I needed.

So from there, I slept on it, and then asked my aunt if I could come visit. My mom helped me stay calm beforehand, and the worst part leading up to it was standing in their house saying hello and just waiting to drop the bomb. I started off with saying 'there's actually a reason i'm here. I have something to tell you, and you won't like it.'

I explained my motives for getting Andy's pics, the reverse image search, and finding the real guy. I pulled up his profile, and the dog's, and let her scroll through it while answering questions she and my grandma had. She tried to call Andy, text him, and just...it was weird guys. She used the phrase 'I'll go p**cho on his ass' in several variants.

She never struck me as that type of person, but she was just blowing him up, and of course, when she FINALLY got ahold of him, and asked him to explain what I'd found. ugh, his voice. She had him on speakerphone.. 'Baby, what you saying?' (this was basically his answer to everything she said.). 'Baby, we don't need this. You just gotta trust.'

I wanted to grab the phone and tell him to cut his crap, but didn't. I stayed a couple more hours, answering questions, trying to console her. Apparently they'd actually been talking for like...two years? I'm torn on whether or not to believe that, bc as much as I love my aunt, i know from experience she can bend the truth to fit delusions sometimes. Anyways.

My grandma, who was there the whole time, was being her usual brusque self, so I pulled her aside and tried to explain that this wasn't the time for tough love, but for the band-aid-and-kisses type of motherly support. She agreed, and thanked me, saying that she's been seeing my aunt 'change', but she didn't say how.

After we went back into the main room, she was trying to be a little more sensitive, but it doesn't come naturally to her.. From there, I needed to go to work and take care of something before the work day ended. Since then, unfortunately, it seems that despite my warnings that she would not get anything that could be guaranteed as the truth out of Andy,

she insisted on 'demanding explanations' and now he's got her convinced that everything they had was real, and that a friend had dared him into the deception. So now, according to her, 'they are talking, and there's a lot of trust to rebuild.' I'm saddened by the turn of events, but I did my job, and she's an adult who has to make her own choices.

I'm trying to let go of the outcome, which obviously wasn't he one I hoped for, and to not feel hurt. I know she's going through a lot emotionally, and that it was silly to hope my intervention would change things. Hopefully, she'll see the truth of it sooner rather than later, and I can have played a part in that.

The niece’s discovery of Andy’s deception—using a model’s photos to scam her aunt—exposes a painful truth about romance scams: they thrive on emotional vulnerability. The aunt’s refusal to accept the evidence, despite clear proof, reflects the psychological grip of such schemes. Her loneliness and lack of romantic experience make her susceptible, while Andy’s “dare” excuse manipulates her desire for connection. The niece’s careful approach was brave, but the aunt’s persistence shows how deeply scams can entrench.

Romance scams are a global issue, with the FBI reporting over $1 billion in losses in 2023, often targeting isolated individuals like the aunt (soucre). The aunt’s financial contributions via gift cards raise red flags, as these are untraceable and favored by scammers. Her shared accounts with her grandmother, as noted by Reddit, could also be at risk, warranting family vigilance.

Dr. Monica Whitty, a cyberpsychology expert, explains, “Victims often experience cognitive dissonance, rejecting evidence to preserve the emotional high of the scam”. The niece’s collaborative approach—showing Instagram profiles and videos—was strategic, but the aunt’s denial suggests deeper emotional needs. The niece could suggest a family meeting with a counselor to discuss the scam gently, emphasizing love over judgment. Monitoring her aunt’s finances discreetly, perhaps with her grandmother’s help, could prevent further losses.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit’s insights are as sharp as a freshly mixed palette! From praising the niece’s courage to warning about financial risks, the community offers a blend of support and caution. Dive into their thoughts below—do they light the way, or just add hues to the confusion?

altered-ever − Good on you for telling her, which had to be a hard experience. What she does now or continues to do is up to her.

drleospacemandds − Ultimately, you're right. You can only arm her with information what she chooses to do and who she chooses to believe is on her. I do wonder about finances. Does your grandmother have shared accounts with your aunt that this 'Andy' could access through your Aunt? I

ANAL or within the finance world but It might be worth talking to some family members about ensuring she doesn't have access to grandma's finances etc. It's horrible enough whats going on I'd hate to see anyone caught up in this mess.

Best of luck and for what it's worth i think you did a great (and brave!) Thing in getting to the bottom of this scam and giving her information, hopefully she can see the light and find peace and break away from this scammer.

planet_rose − It is very difficult to convince someone that they are completely wrong in this situation. I lost my father to a Nigerian dating scam - he met her on Facebook and had never heard of dating scams. He actually went to Nigeria and married her. Because there was a real person in Lagos who matched the photo, it was impossible to convince him that it was still a scam.

Last I heard, he was paying her living expenses to move to “a nicer part of Lagos” with the date of her moving to join him in the US always pushed out farther. She primed him to expect resistance from me by feeding him a star-crossed lovers story, so when I expressed skepticism upon hearing that he was

1) going to Nigeria on Tuesday in 3 days, and 2) involved with a Nigerian woman who he only knew through a random friend request, who is younger than I am and a truly wild background story (she used to be Jewish, but not anymore?! And she runs a nonprofit called Girls Nonprofit, and she has a masters degree from University....) it fed the romantic story she had built for him.

The really sad thing is that I would have been thrilled to hear he was in an actual relationship, had encouraged him to sign up on dating websites for years, and don’t really care about age discrepancies over the age of 40. I couldn’t deal with the lying and him sneaking off to Lagos after telling me he wouldn’t go, posting wedding pictures on Facebook. I never thought he was this sort of person.

latenerd − Your aunt is lucky to have you for a niece. Unlucky that her judgment is so terrible, but.... you've done all you can do. Let's hope you helped her avoid the worst.

TheRealJuicyA − This is exactly what I expected when reading the original post, I just can't believe your Aunt let the guy con her into continuing this 'relationship'.

Gagirl4604 − Yes, as a woman in that exact age bracket, we are catfish catnip, so to speak. I got the 'hot guy with cute dog' catfish, the Army general catfish, the overseas deployed military catfish, the undercover cop/private detective catfish... All of them. I feel for your aunt. The need for companionship is great and loneliness is terrible. At the end of the day, we have to use our common sense. The most basic lesson...if it seems to good to be true, it is.

Drizzy_THAkid − As someone who works in credit card fraud. If she’s buying gift cards to send this person and giving them money she will be responsible for this money. Few, if any card companies, will take charges authorized by the cardholder as fraudulent charges, regardless whether or not they are scam victims.

As s**tty as it is to put this in front of someone and have them throw it in your face, I think you should try again. If only because you know this will eventually blow up in her face, and not only will she be stuck with a broken heart, but a mountain of debt as well. I realize at a certain point there’s just no talking to some people, and I hope you haven’t reached that point for her sake.

bobitabobita − It is not really much that you can do. You did your part, you exposed him, and from here it is up to your aunt to handle things. If you can, watch out if he asks her to send money. I am not sure, but maybe you can contact police and prevent her from becoming a link in possible illegal activities (money laundering for example).

I read your first post and hoped this will turn out fine. Somehow, I was expecting this to happen. There are a lot of videos on youtube of women who got catfished and then scammed, I hope your aunt won't be one of them, but this is the reason I am telling you to be careful with her sending/receiving money. I wish you all the best.

DCwonder − You are a great person and a great niece for this.

Aksweetie4u − Report his profile on Instagram, it’ll be shut down fairly quick. And/or send the fake profile to the real Andy and he can report it.. I get them ALL the time. Usually it’s a widowed military guy with a kid. It seems that once they think they have their hooks in you, they’ll bombard you with 20 other similar profiles after you report/block them,

all with same or very similar stories. Most of them are dumb enough when using military pictures to leave the real person’s name tag in the picture- another way to either 1. Verify it isn’t actually the guy (if the names don’t match) 2. Find the real person’s profile.. Maybe you can catfish the cat fisher?

These takes are raw and vivid, but do they guide the niece through this emotional maze? One thing’s clear: scams paint over vulnerable hearts with cruel precision.

This tale is a stark reminder that digital dreams can mask harsh realities. The niece’s evidence illuminated Andy’s lies, yet her aunt’s heart remains tethered to his false promises. While the niece steps back, her love and vigilance keep hope alive that truth will prevail. Have you faced a loved one’s denial in a scam? How did you balance respect with protection? Share your stories below—let’s keep shining light on these shadows!

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