[UPDATE] Me [33 M] with my wife [32 F] 11 years, I’m falling for my coworker [32 F]?

In a moment of clarity, a husband stepped back from the edge of temptation, choosing the warmth of his family over a fleeting crush. After wrestling with feelings for a co-worker, he faced his truth and opened his heart to his wife, sparking a new chapter for their marriage.

This Reddit user’s update, a follow-up to his earlier confession, radiates resolve and redemption. His journey from infatuation to recommitment pulls us into a story of love reclaimed, where honesty and choice rewrite a family’s future.

For those who want to read the previous part: Original Post.

[UPDATE] Me [33 M] with my wife [32 F] 11 years, I’m falling for my coworker [32 F]?’

About 3 day's after my post I read all the comments and realized everyone was right. And I want to be 100% faithful to my wife and this woman is NOT worth losing my family. Some posters said something may be missing from my marriage. and I thought about it and realized me and my wife don't spend that much time together.

So I talked to my wife about it I told her how I felt and what was on my mind and we had a heart to heart. We cried a little and I don't want to lose her we made a schedule and are going to work out date nights for us to spend more time together.. As for Talia. Me and her met up and I told her the honest truth I'm married and I don't want to do something I'll regret forever.

I told her my feelings were getting a little to inappropriate and that maybe we should not talk outside of work. She agreed and told me she started feeling the same and that we should limit contact. She said it's for the best and that I'm a good man because most men would have just let it continue but I didn't.. So we ended our friendship.

In the mean time I'm going to focus on my family and my wife and distract myself from thinking of Talia. Looking back it wouldn't have been worth it because my wife has been with me through everything. When I lost my job when my parents died when I needed surgery. She's had my children and sacrifices for them and takes care of them without asking for anything in return.

And I'm happy with her and I couldn't replicate all those memories with any woman. She's the only one for me and I realized and appreciate all the things she does for me and our family.. That's the update and hopefully I'll never have to return to this sub-reddit again. **tl;dr**: got my head out of my ass and realized how important my wife and family are to me. I ended my friendship with Talia and am going to focus on my wife and family now.

Temptation can flicker even in the strongest marriages, but it’s the choice to act—or not—that shapes a life. This husband’s decision to end his friendship with Talia and reinvest in his marriage reflects a rare self-awareness. Dr. John Gottman, a leading relationship researcher, states, “Commitment means making a choice to give up other choices” (The Gottman Institute). His candid talks with both his wife and Talia, though debated, cleared the air for healing.

The husband’s realization that he and his wife had drifted apart mirrors a common marital drift: 43% of couples report reduced quality time post-children (Pew Research). His crush on Talia, fueled by shared interests, was a wake-up call, not a destiny. By scheduling date nights, he’s rebuilding connection, a strategy Gottman endorses to foster intimacy.

Yet, confessing mutual feelings to Talia sparked Reddit debate, risking emotional escalation. Gottman’s research suggests boundaries, not confessions, better protect marriages. Therapy could help the couple sustain their renewed bond, while readers might try weekly check-ins with partners to stay aligned.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

The Reddit crew cheered with a mix of praise and side-eye, serving wisdom with a twist of sass. Here’s their take:

[Reddit User] − GOOD! Glad to hear, you did the right thing. The key to avoiding an affair is to cut it off when you first begin to feel things that are inappropriate, and to focus on your own marriage. I wish you all the best :)

ReallySeriouslyNow − I'm glad you are making efforts with your wife and fixing your marriage.. That being said, your conversation with Talia where you two confessed your feelings was *highly* inappropriate and unnecessary.

[Reddit User] − This post makes me happy. It reminds me of what someone told me years ago. 'There will be plenty of chances to cheat, but if you really are in love with someone, you won't throw away what you have had for years for something so small.'

[Reddit User] − I am pretty sure I commented in your OG thread that I felt like something was missing from your marriage. It sounds like you have taken some important steps toward reversing this potential problem by being honest and taking a bit of action.

ImSoSassay − So did you tell your wife you met up with Talia and confessed feelings for each other?

CuriousNow9 − Excellent choice. I'm sure its one that you wont regret.. Good for you.

awaythrow9118172 − Great to hear. So many people don't realize that feeling like this for other people are normal and will develop even in spite of great relationships. Part of being committed and dedicated is to squash these things before they get out of hand. It's going to happen, it's OK, it doesn't mean you aren't with your 'soulmate'.

Everyone has doubts, and human nature seems to want us to get out and not be tied down to one person. But commitment and dedication to someone we love and made a promise to is worth more then any fantasy you can dream of with that charismatic cutie at the office, even if they are wonderful.. Good for you. I'm happy for you and your family.

[Reddit User] − Good for you!

Spoonbills − Well done, OP. Invest in the life you have.

SerTapsaHenrick − It's unbelievable that in the original thread everyone is like 'don't tell anyone, just cut contact and distance yourself' and now that OP says he told BOTH his wife and the crush, every single being in this thread is going 'good for you, that's the right choice'. Do people even read these things?

These Redditors applaud but question—does their feedback hit the mark? Commitment is a daily choice, but can online cheers guide a marriage’s course?

This husband’s turnaround is a testament to love’s resilience, proving a stumble isn’t a fall. By choosing his wife over a crush, he’s rewriting his family’s story with intention. His tale nudges us to reflect on our own commitments. What would you do to protect your closest bonds from temptation? Share your thoughts—let’s unpack this triumph together.

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