[UPDATE] I [19F] am being excluded from our gaming group. I decide to find a new group. Boyfriend [20M] is the one upset?
Picture a quiet summer evening, the hum of a gaming PC filling a cozy bedroom as a 19-year-old woman clicks through online forums, her face lit with cautious hope. She’s been pushed out of her gaming group, sidelined by a toxic player and, shockingly, unsupported by her boyfriend. Her story of exclusion struck a chord with many, sparking heated discussions online. For those who want to read the previous part: (I [19F] am being excluded from our gaming group. I decide to find a new group. Boyfriend [20M] is the one upset?). Now, she’s back with an update—new groups, an apology, and a fresh perspective.
This tale isn’t just about gaming; it’s about resilience, communication, and rebuilding trust. After joining a new crew and confronting her boyfriend’s missteps, she’s navigating a delicate balance between independence and love. Her journey invites readers to reflect: How do you rebuild after betrayal? And when does an apology truly mend a fracture?
‘[UPDATE] I [19F] am being excluded from our gaming group. I decide to find a new group. Boyfriend [20M] is the one upset?’
![Some people have also asked me questions about how we can play so often, how long I've been with my boyfriend, etc., so I'll just give a brief background (skip to the next line if you don’t want to read it). First off, most of us are college students [18/20], either working part time or staying at home with our parents.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/158498ct-02.png)
![As of right now, most of us are on summer break. We only have two older members in the group, which are R [25/M] and another guy [23/M]. The rest of us are or fall under 20. R is actually married and his wife makes good bank, so he has a ton of free time. Second, about my boyfriend. Surprisingly we met through the gaming group, as he was the one who advertised it, which was how I found and joined the group.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/158498ct-03.png)
![I did not know much of R, other than that he was my boyfriend's friend, until he joined the group. So, after I posted my original post, I signed up for 2 different groups. The first one was an all-women’s group [16-20F]. They responded to me pretty quickly. They were very nice and polite, but explained that they only play once/twice a week. Unfortunately, that didn't cut it for me.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/158498ct-05.png)
![The second group responded to me the next day, and I learned that they were more active but that they're also an all-men’s group [17-19M]. However, they were open to having me there. At first, I felt pretty sketched, but the oldest and most popular guy [19/M] there took me aside and explained to me that he does not tolerate any type of harassment and that he will definitely kick out any of the other guys if they were bothering me.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/158498ct-06.png)
Group dynamics can turn a fun hobby into a social tightrope. This young woman’s exclusion from her gaming group, driven by R’s toxic behavior, exposed cracks in her relationship and her circle. Her boyfriend’s initial failure to defend her, followed by his fear-driven reaction to her joining a new group, points to a common relationship hurdle: balancing individual needs with partnership.
Social exclusion isn’t trivial. A 2022 study from the Journal of Social Psychology found that being ostracized can lower self-esteem and increase anxiety (tandfonline.com). Her silence about R’s misogyny, to avoid conflict, mirrors a broader issue—many young women suppress discomfort to keep the peace in male-dominated spaces like gaming.
Dr. Harriet Lerner, a psychologist and author, emphasizes, “Apologies require accountability and change, not just words” ( psychologytoday ). Her boyfriend’s apology and decision to remove R show growth, but his choice to maintain limited contact with R raises questions about boundaries. This situation highlights the need for clear communication in relationships, especially in young love.
She’s made a smart move by sticking with her new, respectful group. To strengthen her relationship, she could set explicit boundaries about R’s influence and continue voicing her needs.
Here’s what the community had to contribute:
Reddit’s reactions are as lively as a boss battle! From cheers for her new group to side-eyes at her boyfriend’s lingering tie to R, the community weighed in with gusto:
![[Reddit User] − I told him I don't think I'll ever come back to the old group and that I will definitely be sticking with my new group from now on. I think this is a good choice, OP. And, aside from your boyfriend's initial reaction, you both handled this pretty well. Good luck with your new group and with your boyfriend :)](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/158498cmt-01.png)
![[Reddit User] − OP, I hope you are reconsidering your relationship with your 'best friend,' who had you kicked from the group.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/158498cmt-04.png)
![[Reddit User] − Ok so the ending is kinda happy but there is some stuff buried here that should be making you uneasy. Your boyfriend says that he was upset at you doing something on your own because he was worried you'd leave him. This is a huge flag to be aware of.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/158498cmt-12.png)
These takes are spicy, but do they miss the nuances of her evolving relationship?
This gamer’s update is a testament to standing firm and seeking spaces where you’re valued. Her boyfriend’s apology and actions show promise, but the shadow of R lingers, sparking debate. Should she trust his growth, or is his tie to R a red flag? What would you do after an apology that feels sincere but incomplete? Share your thoughts below and let’s unpack this together!
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