[UPDATE] Brother (15m) made fake instagram of me (25m) to make JW parents think I’m not gay?

A 25-year-old man, long estranged from his Jehovah’s Witness family for being gay, faced a shocking twist when his 15-year-old brother crafted a fake Instagram account to depict him as a devout, straight son. The teen’s plan? To escape their oppressive home under the guise of visiting a “reconverted” brother. Now, with the account deleted and truths laid bare, the man steps up as a lifeline for his brother’s potential freedom.

This update isn’t just about a social media scheme gone awry; it’s a raw look at a teen’s desperate bid to break free from a controlling faith and a sibling’s resolve to support him.  How does one balance love and boundaries in such a tangled mess? Let’s dive in.

For those who want to read the previous part: Original Story.

‘[UPDATE] Brother (15m) made fake instagram of me (25m) to make JW parents think I’m not gay?’

Thank you all for your illuminating comments. I'm honestly o**rwhelmed at the response & apologize for not replying much, it was so much. But I'd like to specifically thank U MY MAN  for his comment, which suggested that this was not him trying to rope me back in, but him trying to escape the cult. You were exactly right.

Today we talked for the first time since our conversation. He took down the insta after our conversation (which I hadn't noticed at the time of writing the post, haha), and I gently asked why, exactly, he did this. He's fifteen, so he didn't quite have the language to say 'I'm being abused and need to leave the JW.'

What he said, instead, was that mom and dad are 'crazy' and he's become disillusioned with the cult (he even used the word 'cult'). He still believes in God and wants to explore different sects of Judeo-Christianity. My hometown is a small place in the midwest, and everyone knows who the JW are...they're, like, 'those people'.

So he couldn't covertly go to another service without someone recognizing him and it getting back to my parents. His motive was pretty much what U MY MAN said. He said he wants to visit, hang out, and explore the religions around Chicago, but the only way my parents would allow him to leave town is if they knew EXACTLY where he was, who he was with the whole time, etc.

So in his head, propping me up as converted was the only way to make it happen. I told him I was completely uncomfortable with that, and that my relationship with my parents is over. He apologized, and pretty much already knew the logistical problems. I think this was a very maturing ordeal for him. I established myself as a lifeline.

I told him that if it ever gets too much, I will pay for his train ticket and he can stay with me for as long as he likes, even moving in for the remainder of high school. (And I mean it: I have enough space, and my aunt will help with childcare/extra expenses). He seemed apprehensive, but the thought's out there, and he now seems comfortable enough to vent about the church/my parents/my crazy ass sister directly.

As for my parents, I just told him to cold turkey stop talking about me. If they ask (and this was suggested by Julie, my 'bride-to-be'), he will tell them that I might have refound Christianity but I have no intentions to return to the Watch Tower, and that he stopped talking to me. Leaving JW for any reason is grounds for excommunication.

And I put my actual insta on private, in case they go looking. They might think I'm not gay, might now have the sliver of hope that I'll return to them, but that's honestly not my f**king problem. And for the guys who suggested this was a honeypot...no.

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No fifteen year old can act this well. He's so, so full of love and kindness, and as fucked up as his plan was, it was at the end of the day because he is panicking in a toxic enviorment. Thank you all, again. My brother is back in my life, and I now have the means to help him. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

The saga of a teen’s fake Instagram account takes a hopeful turn, revealing a 15-year-old’s desperate plan to escape a stifling Jehovah’s Witness household. The 25-year-old man, shunned for being gay, now faces a new role: a lifeline for his brother, who deleted the deceptive account and confessed his disillusionment with their family’s faith. The parents’ strict control pushes the teen to lie, while the man’s firm boundary—no contact with them—offers a safe haven for his brother’s rebellion.

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This scenario reflects the broader struggle of youth in high-control religions. A 2024 report by the American Psychological Association notes that 25% of teens in such groups experience significant psychological distress due to family expectations (soucre). The brother’s actions—lying to secure a visit—stem from a need for safety and freedom, not deceit. His shift from defending the faith to calling it a “cult” signals a critical awakening.

Dr. Janja Lalich, a sociologist and cult expert, states, “Young people in restrictive groups often use covert strategies to test boundaries or seek escape, especially when they lack external support” (soucre). Lalich’s insight illuminates the teen’s ploy: a risky but understandable move to reach his brother, the only safe figure he knows. The man’s response—offering a home while setting clear boundaries—strikes a delicate balance, honoring his truth while supporting his brother’s journey.

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The man should maintain open, discreet communication, perhaps using encrypted apps to avoid parental scrutiny. Reinforcing his offer—train tickets, a room, and aunt’s support—gives the teen a tangible exit plan. He could gently guide his brother to explore faiths safely, perhaps online, until he’s independent. Advising the teen to deflect parental questions with vague answers, as planned, minimizes conflict. This approach fosters trust without dragging the man back into a toxic past.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit’s chorus of voices brings heartfelt support and sharp insights to this evolving tale. Here’s what they shared:

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MyDemonsSuckAss − Bro is a bro 👌. Good luck man. Keep your head up.

rainfal − I really admire you for helping him escape. Seriously, you practically saved him.

TinaTetrodo6 − I’m a mom of a teenager, going to be a senior. There is a friend of hers we’ve known since they were both in kindergarten and I saw this ordeal coming at him and his parents years in advance. Over the years, I made sure he knew we were a resource for him if he ever found himself needing one. (These conversations were always in the context of my cousin - whose parents cut off all contact with him when he came out at 16).

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Right about the time this sweet boy turned 16 himself, he figures out he’s probably gay. He had no choice but to hide it from his parents, but they knew something was up. Eventually, his father started threatening to kill him if he kept “acting like a girl.” CPS removed him from his home and placed him with us for about half a year while his whole family attended mandatory counseling.

I found out last week that he was going to kill himself in the weeks before CPS intervened. He already had letters written to his siblings, to his friends and to me. While writing to me, he remembered that there was a trustworthy adult that knew all about him, affirmed his humanity and orientation, and firmly believed that God loves him exactly how “He/She” made him. And he decided to seek help instead.

OP, I’m not telling you this to brag or get confirmation from anonymous reddit peeps on what an awesome person I am (I am well aware of this already, thank you). I’m telling you this because YOU might be this person for your little brother. Even if your little bro isn’t gay - all of the adults he’s respected and trusted his whole life believe some seriously crazy s**t that makes NO sense to him.

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This can be extremely isolating and it makes you feel alone even when you’re surrounded by people who love you (who wouldn’t love you anymore if they knew what you were REALLY like, right?). He hasn’t figured out yet that he’s not the one that’s crazy. He’s fifteen and doesn’t know s**t about s**t. He just wants a relationship with his brother without the risk of being abandoned.

Just think about how much less painful and terrifying your escape (abandonment, IMO) would have been if you knew you had a sane big brother out there supporting you, and that knew EXACTLY what you were going through. I want to hug you both. Thank you for sharing this with us. And you hang in there. Your brother needs you.

CcHhUuMm − I was raised a JW too! The ‘truth’ was some absolute b**lshit I hate my parents for FORCING me to be one as a child.

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IreneAnne16 − My friend was raised JW and escaped as soon as possible. It was a super toxic environment and he's a straight cis dude. I can't imagine how hard it must have been for you. I'm glad you escaped and I'm especially glad you get to have your little brother in your life. You are awesome

rnev64 − Thank you all, again. My brother is back in my life, and I now have the means to help him. Thank you, thank you, thank you.. reddit folk - well done.

[Reddit User] − Only an ex-JW can understand just how hard-core the shunning is in that religion. It is the most evil farce that the governing body ever pulled off (even worse than the blood transfusion nonsense)- and they did it in the 40’s! They literally brainwash people to believe it is a black and white- LIFE or DEATH issue.

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You can’t see how insane it is until your out for many many years. The parents will never come around unless OP plays the sheep and puts up with months of b**lshit and acting contrite - while he is treated like a pariah and receives countless lectures about how he is wrong (to be gay) and attends (JW) meetings every week. Then and only then he will be “reinstated” and receive his family’s conditional “love”.

Op, your brother knows this and I truly believes he means well. He is just a little immature and not thinking things through. Remind him what is at stake for him living in a JW household (especially if he baptized). You both are going to have to be discreet in your communication until he can be on his own- and tell him to take the fake social account down - you don’t need JW drama in your life.. Source: I’m an ex JW for MANY MANY years.

tuberippin − I try not to hold prejudice against any religious groups, but I have a hard time getting past how disturbing Jehovah's Witnesses are as a group/belief system.. Glad you got out, hope your brother does soon as well.

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zeagulll − speaking as a kid looking for an escape anywhere, he definitely sees you as one. but that doesn't mean he's using you, it means he trusts you.

[Reddit User] − This whole story hit me so hard. I was raised JW and my older gay brother took his life at 25. (F**k the cult) A few months later I was disfellowshipped for insubordination when I eloped with a boy from college.

My little bro was 5 at the time when i was excommunicated. Its been 15 years now. Hes 20 now and i wish every day he would contact me. Stories like this give ex jws so much hope to be reunited with our siblings. I truly hope it all works well for you and your brother and thanks for sharing. Seriously made my day. Hugs.

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These reactions brim with empathy, but do they capture the full weight of a teen’s escape from a controlling faith? There’s a spark of hope in these comments that’s hard to ignore.

This update hums with quiet triumph—a brother’s love cutting through years of pain and dogma. The man’s choice to be a beacon for his brother, without bending to a toxic past, feels like a small victory. Family ties can be messy, but they can also be lifelines. What would you do to help a sibling trapped in a world you left behind? Share your thoughts below.

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