UPDATE: Am I wrong for throwing out my pregnant girlfriend who won’t pay rent?

A man’s hope for a fresh start with his pregnant girlfriend crumbled under the weight of her lies, loans, and refusal to change. After evicting her for dodging rent and enabling her family’s financial drain, he offered an ultimatum: transparency or nothing. Her defiance—new loans, hidden bank statements, and deflected blame—sealed their split. Now, with a baby on the way, he’s eyeing a paternity test and a clean break.

This updated tale of trust shattered and ties severed burns with hard choices. Was his final stand justified, or did the pregnancy demand more patience?

For those who want to read the previous part: Original Post.

‘UPDATE: Am I wrong for throwing out my pregnant girlfriend who won’t pay rent?’

I sat her down and gave her an ultimatum early last week. I explained to her that we are a family, and became a family when she decided to have a baby with me. I told her if we’re going to stay together she’s going to have to be a lot more open, contribute and no more taking on debt she can’t afford which brings it to my door when she can’t pay.

I also told her I want to see her bank statements because I suspect she has a gambling problem and is in some serious debt. She agreed to all of this and committed to showing me the bank statements when I ask and says going forward she’ll pay towards bills. I believe she’s turned a corner and start getting along with her better and she moves back in.

As I was sat next to her phone last night when she went to grab a drink her phone lit up with a text message. It read “loan accepted by X lender, click here to accept.” I immediately called her out and she starts crying telling me she has no money left again for the month and she’s had to resort to payday loans for some money.

I tell her she should’ve have come to me and tell her I explicitly said no more loans. She also tells me she won’t be able to afford to pay towards bills again. She works full time and brings home around £1400-£1200 a month dependant on hours but a lot of the time she phones sick so gets sick pay which is a lot less.

I ask to see her bank statements and she refuses telling me I’m being controlling by asking when she’s told me and I don’t need to see them. That’s the last straw for me. I’m almost certain she’s been giving it away at this point again or gambling. I give her a scenario: “Your baby is starving and needs food and there’s non in the house, what are you going to do.”

She replies “you’ll have to pay.” That’s fine I’ll happily support my son I tell her because the mother is clearly a deadbeat. So I ask to see her Facebook Messenger to see if her family have been hitting her up for free money again and conveniently all of the family members that borrow from her have the chats cleared (she says she deletes them to be tidy, yet mines still there).

I told her this isn’t going to work and she tells me I’m a controlling freak basically and she agrees and I’ve not heard from her since. Moral of the story is she’s too damaged from her upbringing I’m guessing and some people you just can’t change. She still messages me asking how I am but I’m just ignoring her except from anything baby related.

I need to move on. I know a lot of people questioned whether she’s pregnant, how stupid I was to get her pregnant (I agree) and if it’s mine. I’ve been to every scan so I know she’s pregnant, as for if it’s mine I’ve never suspected cheating but she’s a serial liar so I will be forcing a DNA test through the courts.

I posted on a couple of different subs to make sure I wasn’t getting biased opinions. The above story is 100% true (I wish it wasn’t believe me) but my focus is now getting as far away as possible from her for my own sake.

The OP’s dropped an update on the saga—curious? Click here to check it out!

The man’s breakup with his pregnant girlfriend marks the end of a trust eroded by her financial irresponsibility and dishonesty. Her initial eviction followed months of unpaid rent, stealing, and gambling, but his ultimatum—demanding transparency and contribution—was a fair chance at redemption. Her new loan, refusal to share bank statements, and blaming him as “controlling” confirm a pattern of avoidance, likely tied to her family’s manipulation and possible gambling addiction. His focus on paternity testing and co-parenting reflects a pragmatic shift, though evicting a pregnant partner stirs ethical debate.

Financial betrayal fractures partnerships. A 2024 study in Journal of Consumer Affairs found that secretive spending, like her gambling and family handouts, predicts relationship failure more than income gaps. Her inability to prioritize their household, even with a child imminent, justifies the man’s exit.

Financial therapist Dr. Megan McCoy advises, “Couples must align on money values to co-parent effectively.” The man could offer support for the child’s needs (post-paternity test) while maintaining distance, possibly urging her toward debt counseling or addiction treatment. Custody discussions should prioritize the child’s stability, potentially limiting her access if her habits persist. Readers, would you have given her another chance?

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit swung hard, mixing sympathy with sharp critiques of both parties. Here’s their take:

Duckr74 − OP you gonna fight for full custody?

Trixie-applecreek − You can get a DNA test pre-birth. Why wait? Ask Her for one now. Her response may tell you something.

Fun-Yellow-6576 − FFS, NTA for kicking her out but she’ll bleed you dry for child support. Maybe you can get her to give up her rights to the baby and let you raise it.

SnooWords4839 − Get the DNA test and sent her to her parents.. You do not need to support her, only your child, after it is proved to be yours.

SuburbaniteMermaid − Please be more discerning about where you place your d**k in the future.

[Reddit User] − I do t think you're wrong, it's a difficult situation. It really sounds like she's not making any effort to fix the financial situation, which is only going to get worse once the baby comes. I’ve asked her to explain where her money has exactly gone but she tells me I’m controlling and it’s non of my business

When you live together and one partner is carrying the majority of the financial burden, it's absolutely NOT controlling to ask where so.eones money has gone if they can't pay their fair share of the communal expenses.

mare__bare − Get her to discuss her financial f**k ups in text (without her realizing she's being set up).. You'll need them just in case you fight for custody and child support!

Jokester_316 − I don't think you are wrong. She's not financially responsible. Many people are poor, but they prioritize their necessities. She was using you as a safety net. Her money was her money. Your money was for the both of you (at least in her mind).

All those debts would have become your responsibility if you ended up marrying her. It would have been one thing if she worked with you to pay off her debts. She couldn't do that because she won't tell her family no when they beg for money. Bad dynamic for sure.

Neena6298 − If you had let her stay with you, I promise you that she would have never worked for the rest of your relationship. She would end up giving her family the money you gave her to buy groceries. And if she has a gambling addiction then will drain you dry.

WornBlueCarpet − Get a paternity test before you sign anything. With how chaotic her life is, you should make sure the child is actually yours. These responses are raw, but do they overplay the man’s role in the pregnancy? Reddit’s split on custody and DNA tests, but is the breakup undisputed?

These responses are raw, but do they overplay the man’s role in the pregnancy? Reddit’s split on custody and DNA tests, but is the breakup undisputed?

This financial and emotional wreck of a relationship leaves a man untangling lies while bracing for fatherhood. His ex’s refusal to change—favoring loans and family over their future—forced a painful but necessary split. With a paternity test looming, will he find peace as a solo parent, or will her chaos linger? It’s a story that crackles with tough love and tougher choices. What would you do when trust and a baby are at odds? Share your thoughts—let’s dive into this mess!

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