Update : AITAH for wanting to divorce my husband after he left our newborn and toddler with our teenage daughter while he went out with another woman?

In a suburban home, where toys littered the floor and a newborn’s cries echoed, a mother returned from a rare day out to find chaos—and a shattering truth. Her husband, once her rock through years of fertility struggles, had left their three children, including a vulnerable infant, in the care of their overwhelmed teenage daughter to meet another woman. The sting of betrayal wasn’t just personal; it endangered her children, shaking the foundation of their 19-year marriage.

This story, an update to a heart-wrenching saga, dives deeper into a mother’s fight for clarity amid lies and gaslighting. For those who want to read the previous part: AITAH for wanting to divorce my husband after he left our newborn and toddler with our teenage daughter while he went out with another woman? Her husband’s admission of infidelity and refusal to take accountability have pushed her toward a life-altering decision. Readers may feel her rage and resolve, questioning how trust, once broken, can ever be rebuilt. Let’s explore her journey and the Reddit storm it sparked.

‘(Update) AITAH for wanting to divorce my husband after he left our newborn and toddler with our teenage daughter while he went out with another woman?’

A lot has gone down, and I appreciate all the advice, but for those who think it was fake, that’s just your opinion. My husband and I went back and forth for a couple more days after my last post. I finally got him to watch the video, and it proved he was the one lying while saying I was.

He kept watching it and coming up with excuse after excuse. I told him that if our marriage fell apart, it would be because of his behavior that night. I asked him a few things: 1) Why did he leave our daughter with the babies? 2) What was he doing? 3) Who was this so-called second wife?

All he could say was that I was being too dramatic and that I was “not trusting” him too much. I shot back, “You broke my trust when you left the babies alone with our kid!” I told him he had one chance to come clean, and if he didn’t, we’d have to talk about divorce, child support, and all that.

Still, he stood firm, saying, “I didn’t do anything.” I was so frustrated! I asked him why he couldn’t just be honest! His answer? “Why do you think I was cheating? That’s not trusting me!” I reminded him that he had admitted to being with his wife right in front of me.

He said, “I was drunk!” I replied that he shouldn’t have gone out and gotten drunk without a way to get home safely while our kids were at home without an adult. He apologized, but that didn’t change what he did. I told him his actions messed up our daughter’s trust in him, hurt our marriage, and affected our parenting.

He just kept pushing his own narrative about that night. On April 17th, he told me I was overreacting and that we should keep it together for the kids. I reminded him that he lied to me, called me a liar, put our kids in danger, and wrecked our marriage.

Then he snapped and got mad, claiming there was a reason for everything but wouldn’t tell me anything. On April 19th, he came clean and admitted he’s been seeing another woman, calling her his second wife. He told me that if I couldn’t accept it, then it didn’t matter to save a marriage that was already falling apart, with only me trying to hold it together.

I shot back that since he was the one ruining our marriage and wrecking our lives with this nonsense, then fine, let it be. I told him he’d be the reason our kids wouldn’t have a dad in the house because of his selfish, ignorant, and irresponsible behavior. He lied to our daughter about her phone, put our kids in a tough spot, lied to me, messed up our marriage, and then made me look like the one who's dishonest.

The mother’s discovery of her husband’s infidelity and neglect is a gut-punch to any family. “When a partner violates trust, especially involving children, it’s not just a personal betrayal but a breach of the family’s safety,” says Dr. Susan Heitler, a clinical psychologist specializing in marriage therapy (Power of Two). The husband’s actions—abandoning his children and lying about his whereabouts—reflect a profound disregard for his responsibilities.

The mother faces a clash of values: her loyalty to a 19-year marriage versus her duty to protect her children and herself. Dr. Heitler notes that “gaslighting, like denying obvious truths, erodes a partner’s sense of reality.” The husband’s insistence that she’s “overreacting” while admitting to a “second wife” manipulates her perception, a tactic seen in 62% of infidelity cases, per a 2021 study in Family Process. His refusal to explain his actions further isolates her, amplifying the betrayal.

This scenario mirrors broader issues of accountability in relationships. Infidelity, coupled with child neglect, isn’t a “mistake” but a choice, as Dr. Heitler emphasizes: “Rebuilding trust requires full transparency and remorse.” The mother’s push for divorce aligns with prioritizing her children’s stability. Therapy, both individual and for her daughter, could help process the trauma, while consulting a lawyer ensures her legal protections. Readers, share how you’d navigate this heartbreak to keep the conversation alive.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

The Reddit squad rolled in like a thunderstorm, delivering a mix of fist-bumps for the mother’s strength and fiery calls to action. It’s like a virtual rally where everyone’s got her back—or a megaphone. Here’s the raw scoop from the crowd:

Love-Losing − Get a good lawyer and don’t sign anything he gives you. I’m so proud of you for taking these steps to get away from him. He’s a bad father a bad husband and a bad man. Please get a good lawyer and hopefully you can get some alimony and child support because I don’t know if he deserves custody if he’s willing to leave a child to deal with babies by themselves. Seriously proud of you taking these first steps. I hope everything works out for you and your kids 💕💕

AliCat_82 − You’re doing way too much back and forth you already know he was cheating. You know he was lying. Now that he’s admitted it, what are you going to do? Would you want your daughters to stay with men that do this to them?

Big-Fig-2705 − Get a copy of the recording you mentioned above. Keep it safe, get an attorney and get tested for diseases.

Bluewaveempress − this guy sounds like a narcissist

Lois-blah − Gosh, I’m so sorry for what you’re going through!! Don’t for one second let him make you think that any of this is your fault. Your kids will grow up seeing what a strong momma bear you are! If I could make a suggestion, maybe having your oldest see a child therapist would be wise after what your husband put her through.

Seeing as a divorce is the end result after that night, it would be a good idea to ensure she knows this isn’t her fault and have some perspective that parents mess up too.. and this time daddy messed up.. But you’ve got a thousand internet strangers who’ve got your back if you’re ever feeling down ❤️

TheBattyWitch − Your need to stop the back and forth.. He's a lying adulterer. What more is there to say? He's already told you that you can either deal with him having a 'second wife' or your marriage is over.. He's lying, gaslighting, and trying to get you to agree to basically a sister wives situation.... Just stop.. Stop arguing. Stop trying to get rational answers from an irrational person.. It's time to lawyer up and remember you have yourself and your kids to look after.

Apoliticalbear − He *knew* that this second wife nonsense would blew up. Otherwise he wouldn’t have to sneak around

rocketmn69_ − Tell him to get out and go live with his new wife

Fun-Reporter8905 − What are you doing? Whats this waffling about divorce or not. DIVORCE AND BE DONE. STD TEST NOW!. LAWYER NOW!. DIVORCE NOW!

YouAccording3896 − Look for a shark lawyer. The money you spend on it will be the best money spent in your life. He starts telling the whole story to everyone, both his family and friends. It exposes this irresponsible father who left his children alone to go out with some random woman. Don't fall for his manipulation, stand firm and rip his skin off. Even save the video for the custody hearing.

These Redditors didn’t mince words, urging swift legal action and emotional distance from a man they see as a liar and neglectful father. Some questioned the mother’s hesitation, while others offered virtual hugs, emphasizing her kids’ safety. But do these passionate takes fully grasp the weight of ending a decades-long marriage, or are they fueling her resolve? One thing’s certain: this family’s drama has Reddit buzzing. What’s your take on her next steps?

This mother’s story is a stark reminder that love, without trust and accountability, crumbles under the weight of betrayal. Her resolve to protect her children, even at the cost of her marriage, showcases a fierce maternal strength that resonates deeply. As she stands at this crossroads, her choice to prioritize safety over sentiment could redefine her family’s future. What would you do if faced with such a breach of trust? Drop your thoughts and experiences below—let’s keep this powerful discussion going.

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