Update: AITAH for wanting simple divorce because I am not ready to take my husband’s orphan siblings?

Marriage often brings new family members into the fold—but what happens when those additions feel like a lifetime sentence instead of a blessing? Our OP, a successful 24‑year‑old bridal‑store entrepreneur, thought she was signing up for partnership and shared growth. Instead, she discovered her husband expected her to become the primary caregiver for his orphaned teenage siblings, shouldering their schooling, emotional needs, and household chores almost single‑handedly.

Faced with the prospect of postponing her own motherhood dreams and sacrificing years of her career and personal freedom, she chose to protect her future well‑being. Now, navigating cultural expectations and harsh judgments online, she wonders: is it selfish to divorce rather than accept a role she never signed up for?

For those who want to read the previous part: AITAH for wanting simple divorce because I am not ready to take my husband’s orphan siblings?

‘Update: AITAH for wanting simple divorce because I am not ready to take my husband’s orphan siblings?’

Boundaries are the foundation of healthy relationships. As Dr. Brené Brown notes, “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.” By acknowledging she isn’t ready to parent her husband’s siblings, the OP took a courageous stand for her own emotional health rather than quietly resigning herself to decades of unshared labor.

Unequal division of household and caregiving duties ranks high among predictors of marital distress. Relationship researcher Dr. John Gottman observes, “How couples handle everyday conflict over chores is a stronger predictor of divorce than infidelity.” Expecting one partner to absorb full responsibility for parenting and domestic work breeds resentment and undermines long‑term satisfaction.

Caregiver burden can have serious mental health consequences: studies in the Journal of Marriage and Family show that individuals who shoulder disproportionate family care report significantly higher stress and depressive symptoms. For a young entrepreneur eager to plan her own life path, embracing a full‑time caretaker role for pre‑teens could have jeopardized both her business success and her emotional resilience.

Before remarrying—whether to a new partner or in a future blended family—experts recommend openly negotiating roles and expectations. Financial advisor and psychologist Dr. Sheryl Ziegler advises, “Discussing household responsibilities and caregiving plans before tying the knot prevents painful surprises later.” Prenuptial agreements or clear written agreements can ensure that both partners share duties fairly and honor each other’s life goals.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Readers overwhelmingly sided with the OP’s decision to preserve her own future rather than become a “slave mother” to her husband’s siblings. Many praised her for recognizing red flags early, noting that a partner willing to remarry for someone “less educated” to fill that role revealed selfish motives.

While some offered sympathy for cultural pressures, the consensus was that no one should be forced into unpaid caregiving as the cost of marriage.

This story highlights the clash between personal aspirations and imposed family obligations. Have you ever faced a spouse’s expectation to take on unpaid caregiving beyond your comfort zone? How did you negotiate or exit that arrangement? Share your experiences and strategies below—your insight could help others navigate their own boundary battles.