UPDATE: AITAH for tricking my SIL into stealing our baby name?

Family feuds and in-law dramas are rarely black and white. In this update, we delve into a story that blends humor with real tension, as one woman reveals the unexpected consequences of tricking her sister-in-law (SIL) into “stealing” their baby name. What started as a cunning little setup to get back at years of one-sided beef has unraveled into a full-blown family showdown.

The OP’s tale provides a glimpse into how differing life paths and personal insecurities can clash—especially when it comes to something as personal as naming a baby. Her update sets the stage for deeper exploration into the consequences of playing games in family relationships, inviting readers to consider whether a moment of sweet revenge is worth the ripple effects it creates.

For those who want to read the previous part: AITAH for tricking my SIL into stealing our baby name?

‘UPDATE: AITAH for tricking my SIL into stealing our baby name?’

I’ve gotten some messages asking for an update but nothing major has really happened. Jess didn’t break in to my house to push me down the steps and steal my kid lol. I did get some additional info tho that I can pass along. Before I get to that, I want to give a little context about my relationship with Jess to explain why I did what I did. Feel free to skip past it.

To put it plainly, Jess and I have been in a one-sided beef since the day Kevin and I started dating. I give her zero thought if I don’t have to and yet, I live rent free in her mind. Based on snide comments she’s made over the years, the reason why is jealousy. Kevin and I dated for only a year before we got engaged.

We then were married within 6 months of that engagement. We had an actual wedding with a ceremony and reception, went on a honeymoon, bought a house in the burbs and got pregnant in rapid succession. Both of us have good careers and are financially stable. MIL, FIL and GMIL all adore me (there is a churchy reason behind this that I will spare you on.)

Jess and Terrence did not have a similar path. They had been on and off since they were 19/20 with Terrence never really wanting to commit. During one of their breaks, Terrence got a FWB pregnant and now has an 11yo son. This has always been a sore subject with Jess due to her fertility struggles (fibroids).

When they finally got back together, she pressed him for marriage until he relented and gave her a shut-up ring. They went to the courthouse on a random Tuesday then had dinner at Red Lobster afterwards and went back to work the next day. Not trying to be shady, just relaying the facts.

They now live in a 2br apartment in a HCOL city while working hourly jobs. They aren’t minimum wage or anything, but constantly need OT to make ends meet. This has led her to resent me over the years. She thinks everything has come easily to me and has let that fester. There was a time a few years ago at a gathering where she got drunk and got into an argument with Terrence.

I think her attitude that night stemmed from seeing me with my infant daughter. To hurt him, she blurted out that she married the wrong brother. Everyone was shocked. I wasn’t. She just said the quiet part out loud and revealed what I already knew. So I poked her a little and said “really which one?

That’s kinda gross since both were minors when you met them.” Context: Kevin and Terrence also have a younger brother Tim (28). Boy did she fly off the handle after that lol. To this day she claims to have no memory of that night. Anyway, now I know there is a new reason why she resents me..

The update: Like I said, nothing has really happened since I last posted. I haven’t seen or heard from Jess since that day in the hospital. Terrence also hasn't communicated much with Kevin other than sports talk. However, my MIL has been with them almost every day.

She came over yesterday to go over some last-minute things for our baby shower that we are having the Saturday after Halloween. I am not due till late January, but with the holidays and twins tending to arrive early, we just wanted to get it out of the way. Anyway, after finalizing some things, I asked MIL how Terrence and Jess were doing.

She sighed and leaned back in her chair and said “girl, it’s a mess.” She goes on a long word vomit that I will have to summarize. Basically, they’ve been at it since before the baby was born. When they were discussing names, Jess’ list only consisted of girl names.

When Terrence asked what if it’s a boy, Jess was adamant that it wouldn’t be, but if it was, they would just use Terrence Jr. This caused an argument because Terrence’s 11yo is not named after him and it would be petty to name the second son a Jr. Unbeknownst to me, Jess was having severe anxiety over not the name, but the gender of their baby.

So much so that she refused to find out early because she was afraid of disappointment and she wanted to enjoy her pregnancy believing she was having a girl. She really wanted a girl. I mean REALLY wanted a girl. This goes back to MIL imo. MIL is the only girl of 4 brothers. She had 3 boys. 2 of her 3 boys (Tim has a 6yo) have boys.

Then my daughter came along. MIL actually broke down in tears at our gender reveal. Since the day she was born, MIL has become a little obsessed with her lol. Not in a JNMIL way. She knows and respects boundaries, but the whole family is aware that my daughter is MIL’s favorite person in the world.

I think Jess thought that by having a girl, she would get that same attention and affection from MIL as she has never been Jess’ biggest fan. When that didn’t happen, something “short circuited in her head.” MIL’s words, not mine. Before we arrived at the hospital that day, they were still fighting over a name.

So I guess when I showed up she just blurted it out. While I still think it was to hurt me, it seems like it was also because she didn’t allow herself to think of anything else because she didn’t want a boy. I said in the first post how I noticed her expression, however I completely failed to notice Terrence's.

He was pissed. Jess had never mentioned that name to him prior and he had no clue where it even came from. He also hated it. He refused to sign off on that and they left the hospital without a name. In our state, you only have 7 days from birth to register a name.

She eventually told Terrence to pick the name himself and that she didn’t care anymore. So he did. He swapped out Sebastian for Jordan but kept Ali. (Yes, after Michael and Muhammed lol) According to MIL, since they've been home, Jess has shut down emotionally.

She's been doing all the motherly things, but there's a disconnect there. MIL said she finally broke down to her a few nights ago that she'll likely never have a daughter due to her age and what it took to get pregnant in the first place. I think that will bring them closer together since MIL never got the daughter she wanted either.

I also felt bad hearing that because regardless of how I feel about her as a person, I do have a heart and would never want to punch down on her if she's in the throws of PPD. Jess still hasn’t admitted to snooping. So I haven’t admitted to setting her up. A few comments said I should never confess, but I think I will at some point.

Mainly because I don’t care lol. I am more than willing to burn a bridge while I am still standing on it. But now simply isn't the time. So that’s it. That’s the lackluster update. Jess is invited to my baby shower so I might be back in a couple weeks depending on how that shakes out.

Navigating the tangled web of in-law relationships can be particularly challenging when underlying issues such as jealousy and resentment are involved. In complex family dynamics, even small triggers—like a disputed baby name—can set off a cascade of emotional responses. Relationship counselors often stress that unresolved resentments need careful, transparent communication to prevent further escalation.

Dr. Emily Hart, a family therapist known for her work with blended families, points out, “When family members engage in covert games or passive-aggressive tactics, the underlying emotional wounds rarely heal; they only widen the gap between people.” Her insights emphasize that while a clever prank might offer momentary satisfaction, it often deepens the divisions in an already fractured relationship.

Moreover, experts caution that actions taken in the heat of the moment can have long-lasting repercussions on all parties involved. In this situation, the OP’s trick may have provided temporary amusement, but it also reopened old wounds and introduced new layers of mistrust. The dynamics of jealousy—rooted in very personal issues of identity, self-worth, and past disappointments—can quickly spiral out of control when not addressed through open dialogue or professional guidance.

Finally, many specialists recommend that in situations like these, family members consider mediation or therapy sessions designed to handle high-emotion disputes. Such forums allow for airing grievances in a controlled environment, helping everyone involved understand the true roots of their dissatisfaction. While a prank may seem like a harmless way to get back at an adversary, it rarely serves as a lasting solution to the deep-seated issues at play.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Redditors have weighed in on the saga with a mix of amusement, sympathy, and firm judgment. Many believe the OP’s actions, while humorous and even cathartic, underscore longstanding family tensions that warrant a more thoughtful resolution.

Some commenters point out that the SIL’s behavior is a predictable outcome of years of unresolved jealousy and financial or emotional hardship. Others caution that stirring up old drama—even with a clever prank—can backfire and damage family relationships beyond repair. The consensus, however, leans toward understanding the OP’s frustration and validating her right to strike back, even if it means walking a fine line between humor and hurt.

SavvyMaverick − Well damn! That's not where I saw this going. Might not have been crazy as you say, but definitely quite the revelation. I feel for Jess to a point but the minute she made that comment about my husband, all gloves would have been off. Your restraint is commendable lol.

I hope she gets counseling so that that little boy doesn't have to grow up knowing his mother didn't want him. PS. Absolutely don't listen to the person who said to go out of your way to be nice to her. This site is full of willing doormats and I'm actually quite sick of it 🙄

IcyWheel − There is no reason to ever tell anyone else about the name game. What would be the point, there's enough bad blood between the two of you and exposing it would not bring anything positive to anyone's life. It would be petty, the temporary high would be beneath you.

Martha90815 − That was NOT lackluster! The Villain Origin Story for Jess was actually quite relevant and her ongoing jealousy toward your good fortune is rather sad. So for her to initiate, as you said, a 1 sided beef, is beyond wild. Stealing a baby name to make you angry? Nice try honey. I don't blame you for telling her about the set up- she's trifling. Still NTA.

RedneckDebutante − This story needs to die with you. She knows her husband doesn't particularly want her, she's struggled financially and medically, her in-laws dislike her. And now she didn't get the girl she wanted and knows she can't have another. Her life sounds crappy enough already. You don't have to be friends, but you don't need to kick a dead horse either.

meadow_chef − I hope those close to Jess are monitoring her for PPD. She seems to be wound pretty tight and the circumstances seem rife for her to spiral pretty quickly.

Miserable_Credit_402 − So if you can't decide on a name in 7 days, does the state randomly assign a name on the 8th day?

Material_Cellist4133 − I actually feel bad for your SIL. I know she has her faults and she is projecting her hate onto you unfairly. But it seems like she just wants to feel wanted, which is sad.

I wouldn’t admit to it, even though in the last post I said you totally should to be petty. Her life just seems sad. I bet she didn’t see herself with a man who didn’t want to be with her and her feeling so unwanted at this stage in life.

[Reddit User] − Honestly, so much nonsense would be avoided if women respected themselves enough not to settle for ain't s**t men.. I do have a little sympathy for your SIL, though. Fingers crossed the better relationship with MIL happens.

Crafty_Special_7052 − Wow Jess needs therapy. Also with knowing that Terrence basically only married Jess to shut her up well I can’t really seeing that marriage lasting. She should have just moved on and found someone else instead of pressuring Terrence to move their relationship to the next level

Calm_Cicada_8805 − Is it a faux pas to give a non-first born a

In wrapping up this update, the story leaves us with a vivid reminder: family dynamics are rarely straightforward, and the actions we take in moments of tension can resonate far beyond the immediate aftermath. The OP’s recounting of tricking her SIL into a baby name feud is both a tale of clever retaliation and a cautionary note about the lasting impact of old wounds. As she plans to attend her baby shower amidst the fallout, it’s clear that while some bridges may be burned, the complexities of family love and rivalry remain ever-present.

What do you think? Can a well-timed prank ever truly resolve deep-seated family resentments, or does it simply lay the groundwork for future conflicts? Share your thoughts and experiences—let’s discuss whether humor is a remedy or just a temporary bandage over old hurts.

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