UPDATE: AITAH for telling my fiancé to relay to his family that our wedding is not up for changes/discussion?

In the final stretch before their wedding, tensions have reached a boiling point. With just two weeks remaining before the big day, the couple’s already stressful planning process has been further complicated by continued interference from the fiancé’s family.

After setting clear boundaries earlier in the process, the bride-to-be has now implemented a firm directive—ensuring that no more wedding changes will be entertained. This update provides fresh details on how the situation has evolved and examines the new challenges that have emerged as family dynamics clash with the couple’s final preparations.

For those who want to read the previous part: AITAH for telling my fiancé to relay to his family that our wedding is not up for changes/discussion?

‘UPDATE: AITAH for telling my fiancé to relay to his family that our wedding is not up for changes/discussion?’

This update may be earlier than expected, but I also wasn’t expecting to get a call from his grandma today either. So 2 days ago my fiancé asked me on behalf of his mother if 2 extended family could be added to the guest list and as we are 2 weeks away from our wedding, I told him that just can’t happen this close to the wedding and he also didn’t even originally invite them.

(I could also tell he was being pressured to bring it up) but anyways I told him no and told him to tell his family to give me space about wedding stuff because we’re in the final stretch and changes are no longer negotiable (they never were negotiable but you know what I mean)

Anywho I get off work today and only 2 weekends (including this one) stand between me and the wedding and I just want to settle into the bliss. But then I get a call from an unsaved number but I thought it was my doctors office so I picked up….. to a very disgruntled grandma (MIL’s mother) grilling me about the guest list.

Asking me what was going on why some people were invited and not others and what can I do to change it and I explained that I took the guest list from my fiancé and anyone who wasn’t immediate family I didn’t recognize or ask questions because it’s my fiancés list of people he wanted to invite.

Which she angrily said I should’ve asked her for who should be invited, not my fiancé.. To which I then realized I never gave her my number so how on earth did she get it?????? Anyways after I somehow got off the phone with her I told my fiancé everything….. and he immediately called her and told her to back off and to spread the word that the wedding is ours

And it’s in 2 weeks and it’s not up for discussion and if they have issues to call him not me. (🥳💃🤸‍♀️). His grandma even sent her apologies. However….. now I’m a tiny bit worried how the wedding will unfold but for now maybe I’ll have some peace and quiet until the big day. (If not I’ll start cussing people out myself)

Experts in family dynamics and event planning agree that the final weeks leading up to a wedding should be a time of celebration, not conflict. Relationship counselors advise that couples must establish firm boundaries to protect their shared vision, especially when external pressures threaten to overshadow personal plans. Clear communication is essential, and it is recommended that any adjustments or special requests be finalized well in advance. This ensures that emotional stress is kept at bay while allowing the couple to focus on what truly matters.

From the perspective of professional wedding planners, last-minute changes often disrupt the delicate balance of coordinated details. They stress that once vendors have been booked and final guest lists established, no further alterations should be allowed. This not only prevents logistical nightmares but also preserves the couple’s mental well-being during an already high-pressure time. As one planner notes, “Final cutoffs are in place for a reason—to maintain the integrity of the day and avoid chaos.”

Family therapists add that conflicts like these can signify deeper issues in extended family relationships, particularly when one group oversteps established boundaries. They encourage the couple to rely on assertive, respectful communication strategies. By delegating responsibility for family interactions (as seen when the fiancé took charge of relaying the final message), the couple reinforces their partnership and mutual respect. This approach is crucial for defusing potential future conflicts during the celebration.

Ultimately, these experts stress that prioritizing the couple’s happiness and well-being must come first. When a family member persistently challenges the established plan, it becomes necessary to draw a hard line. By doing so, the couple not only safeguards their special day but also sets the tone for how future family interactions will be managed. As one family counselor summarized, “A wedding is a commitment not just to each other, but to creating a space where only positive support is welcome.”

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Across social media, responses have been largely supportive of the couple’s decision. Commenters agree that with a wedding just two weeks away, there’s no room for meddling or last-minute changes.

Many applaud the decisive action of asking the fiancé’s family to back off, with humorous suggestions to enforce a strict “no white” dress code for uninvited guests or to hire security if necessary. There is also acknowledgment that while family input might be well-intentioned, it can quickly escalate into disruptive and exhausting behavior, especially when it infringes on the couple’s special day.

LongjumpingTitle1304 − nta. it's your wedding. if his family wants input, they can plan their own event

Any-Expression2246 − There's no doubt you're going to have people not on your list strolling up like it's a public event at this point.

TheEvilSatanist − #HIRE SECURITY!!! Just in case anyone from his fam decides to try to wear white or bring an uninvited guest. And some people may get b**t hurt, LET THEM! Get your security peeps to deal with them. So many weddings have been ruined by family drama, don't let this happen on your special day. Trust me, the peace of mind it will give you is priceless.

GroovyYaYa − Does fiance have a cousin or an aunt or uncle related to grandma that can manage her or at least keep an eye on her during the wedding? She apologized, so hopefully she'll still be in the

You also fill your wedding party in on the situation and deputize them to handle things without involving you or your groom - by either distracting her, listening to her rant (so she isn't spouting off to a guest who has no idea what is going on, or going and getting that aforementioned cousin or aunt/uncle. Worst case, grab your groom's parents.

If you are genuinely worried she's invited people you give the master list of guests to the wedding planner or the person in charge of the venue. Let them know of your concerns. When they cannot find their name on the seating chart, again you have told wedding party and a few key people of the situation - and they will get the wedding planner/venue coordinator.

That person can then say

lapsteelguitar − I can safely assume that you've planning this for a while. Sometime ago would have been a good time for granny to ask about all this, NOT 2 weeks before

WhereWeretheAdults − Do you know what a flying monkey is? Those are the people someone marshals to send out to do their bidding. That is usually in bringing pressure on a person from another source to get them to cave in and accept what that person wants.

You ask how g'ma got your number? Does future MIL have it? That would be my guess. And she actually had the audacity to say this,

mustang19671967 − The wedding will Be fine , it’s the BS after , if you want kids and then names religons is it his side or yours for god parents , why does your mom get to see kids first . I’m sorry to say this but maybe they will b**t out

MommaNix19 − You are not the a**hole and your fiance 100% needs to be featured on the green flag guy videos that you see on YouTube. How awesome is it that he's standing up for you already! Marriage is a partnership.

Even when things get tough you should know that your life partner has your back. So awesome you guys are starting out on such a great foot! And congratulations and good luck with the wedding

mare__bare − NTA Have a discussion with your fiancé about his family's possible behavior at the wedding. He is in charge of his family - not you. Have a game plan for him to handle their b**lshit, because there WILL BE b**lshit!. 1. Uninvited guests. 2. Late arrivals. 3. Those wearing white. 4. Snide comments. 5. Unruly/drunk guests.

6. People getting engaged/announcing pregnancies. 7. Anything else his family might do to wreak havoc If he has trusted family members who can help him, he needs to bring them in on the game plan, too. Yes, it's his day, too, but his monkeys = his circus.

Jealous_Art_3922 − I wonder how did she get your phone number?! I sure hope it wasn't your fiancé!

In conclusion, setting strict boundaries in the face of relentless family interference appears to be the only viable option as the wedding day nears. This updated episode highlights not only the challenges of managing extended family relationships during major life events but also the importance of having a strong, unified stance between partners.

As the couple moves closer to their big day with a promise of peace and quiet, one must ask: Is it ever acceptable for family traditions to overshadow personal decisions on such an important day? How can couples balance respect for family with the need for autonomy? Share your thoughts and experiences below to help others navigate similar turbulent waters.

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