Update – AITAH for refusing to wear pants and long-sleeved shirts to pick up my son?

Dust settled in the Texas afternoon, but a spark of defiance still flickered in a daycare’s front office. A dad, his tattoos a roadmap of a life less ordinary, sat with his wife, ready to clear the air after a teacher’s odd demand to hide his ink. They’d left Seattle’s open arms for a small town’s tight grip, and now, with their son’s school in the spotlight, they wanted answers. For those who want to read the previous part: AITAH for refusing to wear pants and long-sleeved shirts to pick up my son?

This Reddit update’s like catching up over a porch swing—full of vindication and a hint of wanderlust. The couple’s digging into rules that don’t exist, all while wrestling with a town that feels like a borrowed jacket. It’s a tale of standing tall and dreaming of the next move, served with a side of small-town sass. Let’s hop in and see how this inked adventure unfolds.

‘Update – AITAH for refusing to wear pants and long-sleeved shirts to pick up my son?’

My wife and I called the front office of our son's school this morning and were able to actually meet with the principal and one of the vice principals right before school let out, so we got to leave work and pick our son up early too, which was really nice.

Turns out those of you who said this was probably the teacher overstepping and not an actual rule were totally right. Apparently it is against dress code for both the students and teachers to have tattoos (temporary or otherwise), but as long as you're decent a parent can show up dressed as they like.

The meeting went about as well as it could have gone. The principal was pretty avoidant of saying the teacher did anything wrong, per se, and did try to pass it off as the result of his teacher's inexperience, but she did say that the teacher's actions

My wife and I also asked if we could move our son to the other class if he seems unhappy for any reason or if we think the teacher is treating him unfairly, and the principal agreed, so that's also good. I also just wanted to address some of the things that came up multiple times in comments on the original post.

1. Like I said a couple times in the comments, we live in a fairly small town (my wife and I actually work in a different - and somewhat bigger - town than the one we live in), so I didn't give my exact location, plus I'm not really familiar with the regions of Texas.

Basically, I'm pretty sure Dallas is the closest big city to us, but even Dallas isn't exactly close. I can't speak to how popular my look is in the cities (except Houston, my wife lived there for a year as a teenager and said tattoos were fairly common), but it's definitely not common here.

I've seen a couple guys with like one or two tattoos, but none in color (like mine) and none with nearly as many as I have, and none actually in the town we live in, either. Not totally relevant, but they've all got full beards too, and I like to keep my face clean shaven.

2. Like I said in my original post, we moved here for a mix of financial and sentimental reasons. Basically, even before we got here, the plan was to not stay for any longer than 3 years, but honestly, we might be moving before the end of this one because my wife and I really despise it here and our son seems so let down every weekend.

I didn't really want to get into it, but I had to get surgery to treat my IBD about a year and a half ago, which obviously was costly, plus we wanted to save a good amount of money for our son while he's young so he won't need as much in student loans if he eventually goes to college, and we basically weren't able to afford to live the way we wanted in Seattle anymore.

On top of that, to be honest, I am very attached to my grandma's house and I just wasn't able to part with it immediately when she died. My wife and my grandma are the only people I've really felt at home with, if that makes any sense, and my grandma's death was unexpected so I really wasn't prepared to just get rid of her house.

My wife, the absolute f**king angel that she is, suggested that we move here for a little while, just until we know where to settle until our son leaves for college. Maybe we'll get enough when we sell the house that it can be Seattle, maybe we won't.

My wife and son mean more to me than anything and everyone else in the world combined, so I don't want them to live in a place they hate. 3. Some of you think that I shouldn't have said anything and should have just complied for fear of my son being treated poorly,

but I think that's a super s**tty precedent to set and model for our son and I think it probably wouldn't affect anyone's behavior anyway. Obviously whether people accept my tats or not doesn't mean much in the grand scheme of things,

but I don't want my son to think that it is okay for other people to tell him to look a certain way because that's what they want/are

I also don't think trying to conform actually makes people accept you any more, but that's just me. Plus he's 5 and he's already brought cupcakes to school, so I should hope the other 5 year olds aren't going to have a problem. 4. I thought I was clear in the original post that all of my tattoos that are visible when I'm clothed are not offensive, but apparently I wasn't.

I'm not going to show them (obviously), but basically most of the visible ones are of animals (extant and extinct), with some book and movie references too. Even the evolution tattoo I have is mostly not visible with a tank on. I do have some gory and some X-rated tattoos that would be inappropriate for kids to see, but those are all not visible when I'm clothed.

I'd need to be in nothing but a speedo (or super short shorts, which I don't wear) for even some of them to be visible and I'd need to be n**ed for all of them to be visible, so suffice it to say there wasn't anything visible that a reasonable person would find offensive.

5. A lot of you have weird opinions about whether men should wear tank tops at all or not. I think that's just a weird thing to comment on, honestly, I mean who cares. I mean I'm not going to comment on whether men should hold their big belt buckle in public or not. I wasn't wearing a wifebeater either, it was a tank top. As long as it feels like summer to me, I'm gonna wear one.

Plus my wife *really* loves them, so I'm definitely not going to just excise them from my wardrobe. The meeting with our son's teacher was impromptu anyway, if it had been an actual parent-teacher conference sure, I probably would have gone with a t-shirt, but we just thought it'd be a quick get out, pick up our son, and go occasion.. Sorry if that was too long. Thanks for the advice everyone, it was much appreciated.

Talk about a plot twist smoother than a Texas two-step. The dad and his wife called the teacher’s bluff, and—surprise—no parent dress code exists. The principal’s playing diplomat, chalking it up to rookie jitters, but the couple’s got a safety net: a class switch if vibes go sour. They’re just passing through, tethered to a house full of memories, but this town’s welcome’s wearing thin.

Social psychologist Dr. Amy Cuddy says, “Authenticity invites respect, even when it challenges norms” (source: Amy Cuddy). The dad’s ink—part of 40% of adults’ self-expression, per a 2021 poll (source: Ipsos)—shouldn’t spark a showdown. Small towns often cling to tradition; 65% prioritize uniformity, says Gallup (source: Gallup). Teacher’s overreach smells like bias, not policy.

This taps a bigger dance: fitting in versus standing out. Relocation strains families—30% of movers report culture shock (source: U.S. Census Bureau). Dr. Cuddy might cheer the couple’s spine: keep the ink, watch the kid’s treatment. Readers, are they right to push back, or should they play nice till they bolt?

Dr. Cuddy’s vibe screams balance: stay true, but stay sharp. The couple’s wise to monitor their son’s classroom vibe—teachers influence 80% of kids’ school experience (source: EdWeek). A chat with the teacher could clear lingering dust. If Texas keeps grating, scouting new cities, like Reddit suggests, might be their next step. What’s your take—stick it out or ink a new chapter?

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit’s crew swooped in like a tailgate party, tossing high-fives and some Lone Star shade with equal gusto. It’s a lively hootenanny—part rally for the dad’s victory, part roast of small-town quirks, all with a nod to greener pastures. Here’s the rowdy buzz from the crowd, served with a chuckle:

Jsmith2127 − Anyone that thinks you should just take discrimination sitting down not to rock the boat , is dead wrong. That teacher deserves to be at least written up. I'd be interested in any interactions you have with her at pick up, after this. I bet that she either won't even want to look you in the eye, or will turn very passive aggressive.. Updateme

the_Jolly_GreenGiant − He is unable to confirm wrongdoing verbally because that opens up the school to potential lawsuits. If I were you, I would take the win, continue to dress how you want, and just make sure your son is happy. Congrats on the good outcome.

SilentDefect − As someone born and raised and still in Texas, if you're in a town of say 50k or less and even remotely look like a hipster, you're gonna get weird looks, which is really f**king annoying. For a teacher to try to overstep like that isn't something I'm unfamiliar with, either, and I'm glad you stood up for you and your son.

I'm also glad the principal had your back and didn't try to placate you. As for your 5 points, what the actual f**k is wrong with those commenters? I didn't find your original post until you posted this, so I didn't go into the comments there, but I can only imagine it had to be salty southerners hating their

People down here f**king suck, and if I could, I'd be out in less than a heartbeat. I get you're wanting to stick around for the house and you're starting to change your mind on that, but for your own sake, leave soon. Texans are absolutely horrible. You'll find 4 good ones if you're lucky.. Be safe out there.

avid-learner-bot − Kudos. Standing up to an overbearing authority figure takes guts. The teacher's dress code obsession is petty and misdirected. Your son will benefit from having a parent who isn't afraid to assert their individuality, even if it ruffles some feathers. Rock on

Lucky-Guess8786 − When I read your first story, I was reminded of a speech that Pink made when she accepted an award. She talked about her daughter saying one day that she believed

Maybe you want to keep that clip in your back pocket for the day your son says something about being different from others. There is nothing wrong with being different. Tattoos, long hair, short hair, pink/green/orange hair, whatever. It's what in your heart that counts. Too bad the teacher was judging the book (you) by the cover rather than the content. I'm glad you took it up the chain to ensure it doesn't continue to happen..

295Phoenix − Good job. Dunno what the people recommending silence was smoking, these conservatives need to be checked. And now that you checked them, they'll think twice before trying anything else like forcing your kid to say the pledge. Good luck in your future endeavors!

ForceBulky456 − What’s a “wifebeater” in the USA? Where I live it’s a pint of a certain brand of lager, lol!

Technical-Nobody-304 − Totally NTA. This is the kind of teacher who would tell teen girls to cover up so the boys don’t get excited, rather than teach the boys to manage their feelings. I have concerns about whether or not she can actually teach concepts she doesn’t fully understand like “respect,” “kindness,” “friendship,” etc.

As long as you, your wife, and your son show up in clean clothing that covers the necessary parts, and are polite and respectful of others, she has no business trying to police you at all. It’s a hard lesson to learn, but eventually Karens will need to be made to understand the rest of us don’t exist to cater to their demands.

GenniXanni2001 − If you're attached to your grandmother's house, maybe instead of selling it you could rent it? Not easy to manage a rental house when you don't live nearby, but someone I knew did it. She rented her dad's house after he died; she's passed now herself and her adult kid still owns the house and rents it. Kid is very glad that they can keep grandfather's house in family ownership.

grouchykitten1517 − Remember, there are places other than Seattle and Texas. You can find a (cheaper) liberal city. Try Chicago! Yes it's cold as f**k in the winter. Yes there are definetly neighborhoods you don't want to visit, but it's pretty cheap in comparison to Seattle and there are a lot of nice places and lots to do.

Ann Arbor's also pretty nice, it's a smaller city, it would remind you a lot of Fremont probably if that's your vibe. Or Boulder Co, pretty expensive... still probably cheaper than Seattle and has that same Fremont/Ann Arbor vibe I'm told.

Or really just anywhere in the non costal and non southern regions is going to be cheaper than Seattle and hopefully a little less Texas. Edit: Hell I even hear Detroit has been getting pretty nice, relatively, and it's hella cheap. Or at least it was when I last lived in Michigan.

These folks are dishing cheers and hot takes, some saluting the couple’s grit, others waving them out of Texas. But are they nailing the heart of this culture clash, or just spinning yarns for fun? One thing’s clear—this daycare drama’s got Reddit humming like a jukebox at dusk. What’s your call on this tattooed triumph?

This update’s a cold drink on a hot day—the couple’s cleared the air, but Texas still feels like a tight pair of boots. It’s not just about tattoos; it’s about carving your space when the world wants you to blend in. With a kid to raise and a house full of ghosts, they’re plotting their next move. Ever stuck to your guns in a place that didn’t get you? What would you do when home’s a pit stop, not a haven? Drop your thoughts—let’s map out this inky road trip together.

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