[UPDATE] AITAH for asking my girlfriend that if she wants me to help her sisters, she has to work or cut back on the days they come home?

The once-cozy apartment now feels like a pressure cooker ready to burst, filled with the clamor of uninvited guests and the sting of betrayal. For a 29-year-old man, what started as a generous offer to shelter his girlfriend’s struggling family has morphed into a nightmare of disrespect, financial strain, and a heart-wrenching ultimatum. For those who want to read the previous part: AITAH for asking my girlfriend that if she wants me to help her sisters, she needs to work or reduce the days they come home?

His decision to secretly sell belongings and plan an escape to his mother’s or stepbrother’s home speaks volumes about the breaking point he’s reached. The air crackles with tension as he navigates a girlfriend’s demands, her family’s chaos, and his own father’s shifting stance. Readers can’t help but feel the weight of his choice: when love turns toxic, how do you choose between loyalty and survival?

‘[UPDATE] AITAH for asking my girlfriend that if she wants me to help her sisters, she has to work or cut back on the days they come home?’

Basically, I showed everyone that I hadn't even finished the first week of the month and I was already in negative numbers, her mother explained to me that the.same thing was happening with her sister, where her daughters go to sleep,

and they don't even have a mattress or room for themselves, they were saving up to buy them, that's why they ate and lived during the day at my house, I didn't think it was fair and we argued. Everything got worse when my ex gave me an ultimatum, either we did things the way we were doing them,

or we broke up, I was expecting that low blow, so I started to sell some things to pay the month's rent and the fine for leaving early, and I will wait until this weekend to move in with my mother or stepbrother, all this under secrecy, the situation is on fire and I don't want to add gasoline to the problem..

About my father, my stepmother put him in his place and apologized to me, which is rare for him. That's all, honestly I would have liked a nicer update, but no, feeling like a stranger in your own home is the worst.

This update paints a grim picture of a relationship buckling under impossible expectations. The man’s decision to leave reflects a desperate bid for self-preservation after his girlfriend’s ultimatum and her family’s relentless demands. While he seeks freedom from financial and emotional burdens, his girlfriend’s refusal to contribute and her sisters’ disrespect highlight a stark imbalance. Her mother’s explanation about their dire situation adds context but doesn’t justify the chaos in his home.

This scenario underscores broader issues of toxic relationships and boundary-setting. A 2024 report by the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) notes that 75% of individuals in high-stress relationships experience declining mental health, often due to unmet expectations. Here, the man’s secrecy, while drastic, signals his need to escape a toxic dynamic.

Dr. Harriet Lerner, author of The Dance of Anger (available at HarperCollins), writes, “Clarity and courage in setting boundaries are essential for healthy relationships.” The man’s covert exit plan, though ethically gray, aligns with this principle, prioritizing his well-being over enabling dysfunction. His girlfriend’s ultimatum, meanwhile, reveals a refusal to share responsibility, undermining partnership.

To navigate this, he should communicate his departure clearly to avoid legal or financial fallout, as Reddit suggests contacting the landlord. Seeking support from resources like Mental Health America (MHA) can help him rebuild emotionally. Readers are encouraged to reflect on where boundaries should lie in such high-stakes situations, fostering a dialogue on self-care versus obligation.

ADVERTISEMENT

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

The Reddit squad rolled in with a fiery mix of cheers and tough talk for this embattled boyfriend. From urging him to protect his finances to roasting his girlfriend’s audacity, the comments are a spicy blend of support and shade. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the crowd:

Chaoticgood790 − i would not be leaving if your name is on the lease. talk to the landlord bc none of these people are on the lease. you may also be on the hook for this if you dont talk to the landlord NOW

ADVERTISEMENT

tillwehavefaces − Are you on the lease or mortgage? What's your housing situation here?

Curtis_Cross_Country − Still NTA. Even when you love someone, you still have to do the best thing for you. You tried to help, but if it's going to bring you down, you are under no obligation to to stay in that situation. Putting yourself in debt and risking your own future is definitely not worth it. The secrecy might be a little underhanded,

ADVERTISEMENT

but I'm sensing some toxicity in this whole deal (mentioning the disrespect and broken posessions in the previous post), so I completely understand just wanting to avoid the confrontation until everything is over.. Good luck with everything, and thanks for the update. Sorry that things aren't turning out more positively.

Big_Murrz − Dude you have to talk to your landlord to get these people kicked out but it might become more of a headache at the end of the day. Try and get out as fast as possible. This is toxic behavior on your girlfriend’s part and the fact that she doesn’t have a job is wild. What about the mother? Why doesn’t she have a job? How old are the sisters? Can’t they get a part time job?

ADVERTISEMENT

DrSocialDeterminants − Good on you for leaving. Your partner is totally unreasonable. Don't get shackled

Special_Lychee_6847 − She really didn't think things through, with that ultimatum, did she?. NTA, obviously.. This is not your family.. These 5 (!!) Extra mouths to feed are not your responsibility. If your girlfriend had taken any steps in starting to share the financial load, perhaps it would've been 'tough, but doable',

but expecting a twenty-something to just randomly become the single provider for a 7 person household, without ANY open and honest discussion beforehand is just wild.. Glad you're getting out.. Take some time to rebuild your finances. And be glad to be rid of the dead weight.

ADVERTISEMENT

Big_lt − Bro kick her and her family out. Why are you selling s**t for her family? You have a mother who should either be getting SS or working (or living off a retirement fund). You're in your 30s I assume the sister are adults why are they not working? Why is GF (who doesn't work) tell you how to handle your finances why the f**k are you her ATM. My god dude, grow a pair and kick out these moochers

Fit-Ad-9682 − Dump the leeches and run NTA

Initial_Dish6682 − Who tf is your girlfriend to give ultimums when she refuses to work?tf

ADVERTISEMENT

sisu-sedulous − I like your stepmom 

These Redditors rallied behind the man’s escape plan, slamming his girlfriend’s ultimatum and her family’s freeloading. Some flagged the lease issue as a potential trap, while others praised his stepmother’s rare defense. But do these hot takes capture the full complexity of his choice, or are they just fanning the flames of drama?

This update lays bare the raw cost of unchecked obligation—a home lost, possessions sold, and a relationship on the brink. The man’s quiet exit plan, born of desperation, highlights the courage it takes to prioritize oneself when love becomes a burden. His story sparks a broader question about where duty ends and self-preservation begins. Have you ever faced an ultimatum that forced you to choose between love and your own well-being? Share your thoughts below.

ADVERTISEMENT
Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *