UPDATE: AITA is told my husband to stop supporting his adult daughter?

A family’s financial tug-of-war takes a sharp turn when a couple slams the brakes on supporting an adult daughter’s freewheeling lifestyle. What started as a debate over private school fees for younger stepkids now reveals a deeper rift—this time, over a 27-year-old’s expectation of endless handouts. Her tears and accusations of selfishness hit hard, but the couple’s discovery of her lies about rent and cosmetic splurges paints a different picture.

Caught between empathy and tough love, this woman navigates her husband’s guilt and a stepdaughter’s entitlement, all while juggling their own family’s needs. As secrets unravel, the stakes climb higher than a weekend party tab. Readers, get ready—can she hold firm, or is this family bond too tangled to salvage?

For those who want to read the previous part: Original post

‘UPDATE: AITA is told my husband to stop supporting his adult daughter?’

Hello everyone! Ive shown this to my husband to open up his mind a little and he apologized. He said he needed time to think for days and came up with a solution. He’s cutting his daughter off. She just called to remind him about the weekly allowance and when he said we can’t afford right now she just started crying hysterically and told us how selfish we are.

All this while knowing how we are now behind rent. To those asking, yes she knows about the accident. She even knows now we are behind rent but still blames us as to why she wont be getting support anymore. My husband used to say i have a patience of a saint and i just cracked now because it’s too much.

We need to care for our own son too BUT since he’s still being supportive and everything is being taken care of in regards of our kid i didn’t feel the need to include him in the equation. He’s a good dad and that will never change.

I messaged his ex to know how much she’s charging her for rent so we could do half she was surprised because she’s not charging her anything and is frustrated because all she does is party every weekend. Apparently it’s not dental implants he paid for, it’s veneers and just cosmetic.. Thank you reddit! My husband and I are going to counseling but he apologized and that’s a big step.

Family ties can knot tightly around money, and this couple’s clash with an adult daughter proves it. Initially tangled in a school fee dispute, their focus now shifts to her husband’s 27-year-old daughter, whose tears over a cut allowance mask a deeper issue: entitlement. Her rent-free life, partying, and cosmetic veneers—misrepresented as dental needs—suggest she’s leaned too long on parental support, even amid their financial strain, like unpaid rent post-accident.

The husband’s apology and decision to stop funding her mark progress, but her hysterics reveal a refusal to grow up. The wife’s patience, once saintly, cracked under lies—like claiming rent to her dad while freeloading with her mom. This isn’t just family drama; it’s enablement unraveling. A 2022 Pew Research study notes 59% of parents financially support adult children, often delaying their own stability, as seen here.

Dr. Jeffrey Bernstein, a psychologist, says, “Enabling adult children prevents accountability and growth” (Psychology Today, 2021). Bernstein’s point fits—the daughter’s reliance on “allowances” stunts her independence, while her parents’ mixed signals (free rent from her mom, cash from dad) fuel it. The wife’s outreach to the ex-wife was smart, exposing the daughter’s manipulation. Counseling, now planned, could help the couple align, but the daughter needs her own wake-up call.

Broadly, this reflects a societal shift—young adults staying dependent longer amid economic pressures. Yet, her partying suggests choice, not necessity. For solutions, the couple should set clear boundaries: no more cash without a job or repayment plan. A family meeting with the ex-wife could unify expectations, ensuring the daughter’s child isn’t neglected. The wife might gently guide her stepdaughter toward resources like job programs, preserving goodwill. Readers, how do you cut financial cords without slicing family ties?

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit dove into this saga like it’s a family reunion gone wild! Most hailed the couple’s stand, branding the daughter a master manipulator who partied on their dime while crying victim. Commenters sniffed out possible drug use, urging the parents to shut the cash flow and let her face reality. Some empathized with the husband’s guilt but cheered his apology, while others slammed the ex-wife for enabling her. These spicy takes beg the question: do they light the path to resolution, or just roast the drama?

Kitastrophe8503 − So she's not paying rent, needs hundreds of dollars on a consistent basis, parties all the time and recently needed veneers.... Could she... Be on drugs?

mdthomas − she just started crying hysterically and told us how selfish we are. She's a grown woman. She made a choice to have a child. She needs to figure out how to make the money she needs to support herself and her child.. Still NTA

Azzbolemighty − Fair play. She might be in a huff with you now and that might last. But this is an important lesson for her. Her parents won't be around forever and the girl needs to get a grip and learn to support herself. You both made the right call

Petefriend86 − NTA. The daughter isn't being charged anything for rent, so she's playing life on easy mode. Reading that $700 a week from the previous post had me awestruck.

Stormiealways − She just called to remind him about the weekly allowance. She actually called it an allowance? She's an adult. She doesn't get an allowance. She isn't spending this money on bills. The sheer audacity at calling to

messaged his ex to know how much she’s charging her for rent so we could do half she was surprised because she’s not charging her anything and is frustrated because all she does is party every weekend. So who has her child?. Apparently it’s not dental implants he paid for, it’s veneers and just cosmetic..

She's taken you and your husband for fools. when he said we can’t afford right now she just started crying hysterically and told us how selfish we are.. Ummm WTAF! Awww can she not afford to party this weekend now?. NTA but his daughter sure as hell is

Lunar-Eclipse0204 − Yeah the truth always comes out, I would talk to your husband and the ex work out a plan to talk to their daughter together to start working on a payment plan for her to pay you back since she asked for money under false pretenses. Implants at 27 it does happen (i need them at 36 but it's too much) but she lied about that.

livelovehikeaz − Do not give her any money. Whether she is using drugs or not, she's using you. Don't enable a capable 27 year old woman. Let her struggle, but as long as she's living rent free, it sounds like she's going to milk this situation for all it's worth.

Her mother needs to stop supporting her as well. She should be paying rent and contributing to the household. What does she do all day if she's not working or in school? BTW, if she's in school, she can take out loans and pay for it herself. Do not give her a dime.

HellaShelle − Yikes! You guys (the parental figures) are definitely going to need to increase your direct communications in the future to make sure she’s not playing you all or playing you against each other until she becomes independent. 

Fuzzy_Biscotti_7959 − I'm surprised his daughter didn't mention her child in the lies even once. It's all about her. I suppose grandma takes care of EVERYTHING the child needs, so why bother

Potential-Power7485 − It wasn't' Help, it was enablement.

This tale of wallets and white lies leaves us pondering: where’s the line between helping family and enabling chaos? By halting funds to an adult daughter, this couple faces her wrath but gains clarity on her deceit. Their story challenges us to weigh love against accountability. What would you do—keep the purse strings loose or pull them tight? Drop your thoughts—how do you balance family duty with tough love?

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