[UPDATE] AITA for very rarely/almost never wanting to go to restaurants because my girlfriend makes food that’s just as good, if not better, than restaurant food?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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In a quiet kitchen, the aroma of yet another casserole fills the air, but the warmth is gone. A woman, once a culinary maestro, serves her boyfriend the same dish night after night, her frustration simmering beneath the surface. Months ago, this couple’s story lit up Reddit when he admitted to shunning restaurants, basking in her gourmet skills. Now, the tale takes a somber turn—she’s walked away, leaving him with regret and a viral lesson in love.

This update, raw and reflective, dives into the fallout of taking a partner for granted. It’s a story of missed cues, unspoken needs, and a relationship unraveling over something as simple—and profound—as a night out. Let’s unpack the latest chapter and see what Reddit’s wisdom reveals.

For those who want to read the previous part: AITA for very rarely/almost never wanting to go to restaurants because my girlfriend makes food that’s just as good, if not better, than restaurant food?.

‘[UPDATE] AITA for very rarely/almost never wanting to go to restaurants because my girlfriend makes food that’s just as good, if not better, than restaurant food?’

A few months ago, I posted asking if I was an a**hole for not wanting to take my girlfriend out to restaurants. It blew up. It ended up on Twitter. People shared it to Facebook. The general consensus was, yes, that I am the a**hole, and it just went downhill from there. A couple people told me to kill myself, so thanks for that.

More than a couple people told me that they hoped my girlfriend broke up with me.. Well. After I posted - and proposed and was rejected - things got pretty awkward between us for the first time in five years. She started to get snappy at me easily, she stopped being as affectionate to me, she started making pretty much nothing but casserole.

Everything changed to clarify, she usually liked to make more involved food than casserole. Then one day, like three weeks ago, she threw down the spoon she was using to serve the thousandth casserole this month, and snipped at me, 'Do you seriously f**king think that I *actually like* eating at Olive Garden?'. Guys, she saw the post.

She was *furious*. She doesn't like Olive Garden - she'll eat there because the kids love it and it's cheap. I was right about the red sauce being non-acidic, but, well, in her words, 'she never developed a taste for pasta, she's Latino, do I ever see her make pasta? No. A meal isn't complete without rice.

You don't know me at all.' She yelled about Olive Garden for a solid twenty minutes. It wasn't just about Olive Garden, but it was a lot about Olive Garden. Long story short, we've been separated for a few weeks now, and it's not looking good. She 'loves and respects me but feels it's best for her to respectfully disengage' from me for her own personal betterment.. So, yeah.

TL;DR: I ruined my family by not appreciating my girlfriend. I didn't take her out on dates and I didn't pay enough attention. I would do anything to fix everything.. Edit: To clarify a few things. 1. I didn't post on April First. 2. I say that she yelled about 'mostly Olive Garden' because she did.

She was really embarrassed that a bunch of people on the internet were making fun of her over Olive Garden, where the kids are catered to. 3. She did not call herself Latino. She calls herself Latinx, but I thought Latino would be less confusing. Guess it just made me look like a d**k.

This update is a gut-punch, revealing a relationship crumbled by complacency. The girlfriend’s shift to monotonous casseroles wasn’t laziness—it was a silent protest against OP’s inaction. Her departure underscores a painful truth: love demands effort, not just admiration.

The core issue remains OP’s failure to listen. His girlfriend’s rejection of his proposal and call for counseling were clear signals, yet he didn’t act. Dr. Sue Johnson, a clinical psychologist, emphasizes, “Emotional responsiveness is the glue of relationships. Ignoring a partner’s bids for connection creates distance” (Hold Me Tight). OP’s focus on casseroles as a slight, rather than a cry for change, missed her deeper need for partnership.

This reflects a broader issue: unequal emotional labor. A 2023 study from the Journal of Marriage and Family found that 65% of women feel they carry more emotional weight in relationships, often leading to burnout (Journal of Marriage and Family). Her Olive Garden outburst wasn’t about pasta—it was about being unseen. For Latinx women, cultural identity, like her preference for rice-based meals, can amplify feelings of disconnection when ignored.

What could OP have done? Initiating counseling, planning restaurant dates, or simply asking about her needs might have shifted the tide. Dr. Johnson suggests “small, consistent acts of attunement” to rebuild trust.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit’s commenters didn’t sugarcoat their takes, serving up tough love with a side of insight. Here’s the best of the bunch:

brwonmagikk − Sadly, YTA still. Im sorry for your situation man, really. But its hard for me to be too sympathetic. From your post, the impression im getting is your gf was still cooking every day, just now she wasnt cooking your favourite meals everytime, but casserole instead. It boggles my mind how you went through that whole fight, people here told you you were being an ass, you seemed to realize how one sided the relationship was, and you still let her cook.

She rejected a marriage proposal and suggested counselling for fucks sake. And it never occurred to you that maybe shes cooking casserole because you hadnt changed one bit and she was doing less to prove a point? The way you talk about being fed casserole *for the thousandth time* as if youre serving time in purgatory instead of being fed by a loving girlfriend is insane to me.

In an ideal world, communication in a relationship is clear and distinct. But sometimes people dont want to have to tell you to pick up the slack. Its irritating and kinda humiliating at times to have to clearly spell out what your needs are, especially when the solution is so obvious. You have to learn to read your partner and their actions. I hope you learn that for your next relationship.

DClawdude − Sounds like the fact that you loved her cooking means you were ignoring that she might have wanted to be treated once in awhile. Sucks but that's what happens when you take someone for granted. YTA.

VivaVeronica − ... did you ever act on the advice thousands of people were telling you? Why didn't you take her anywhere after you posted?. Also, Olive Garden is mediocre.

[Reddit User] − The fact you moaned about how many casseroles she made instead of making you fancy food is very telling. Glad she broke it off with you. She deserves better.

[Reddit User] − You don't know me at all. Yeah, unfortunately, it sounds like that’s the problem in a nutshell. I swear I’m not trying to pile on here; I’m just hoping to steer you away from similar mistakes in future - did you try to schedule that counseling she’d mentioned in your last update? Did you take her out to any other places? Did you even ask what was bugging her before she exploded? Or did you just keep eating the casseroles in silence?

cinnamontan − I would do anything to fix everything.. Did you do anything these past three months? Besides propose?

[Reddit User] − I read that thread, and after reading this one, I think your problems obviously go a lot deeper than you taking advantage of her cooking skills. I mean, when is the last time you sat down and asked her what she wants out of the relationship?

Like, when did you last (before all of this) get into a discussion about the state and a direction of your lives together. The last thread and this thread make me feel like this is a complacency issue on yout part, you were happy with the status quo and she wasn't. Of course, I could just be really reading into all of this.

Antaria77 − Look, you got caught and I can imagine seeing it on several public forums, I'd be livid as well. I wouldn't blame her for not wanting to be part of this relationship anymore, so it's a case of learn from your mistakes in your next relationship and don't think proposing is a way of fixing a problem. Have you actually done anything to improve yourself as well? Or asked how you could be a better half in this relationship?

happily-bleeding − It wasn't just about Olive Garden, but it was a lot about Olive Garden.. She isn't mad about Olive Garden, dude.

shhh_its_me − Was this a 2-month April fools joke with an 'Of course I don't like Olive garden' punch line?. If it's not, the 'a lot of it was about Olive garden' was not really about Olive garden.

Talk about a Reddit reckoning! These opinions cut deep, but do they offer a path forward, or just salt in the wound?

This tale of casseroles and heartbreak serves up a stark reminder: love isn’t just about enjoying someone’s gifts—it’s about hearing their unspoken needs. OP’s story, now a cautionary tale, begs the question: how do we balance admiration with action in our relationships? Have you ever missed a partner’s subtle signals, or felt unseen in your efforts? Share your stories below—what would you do to mend a rift like this?

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