UPDATE: AITA for the way I reacted to my parents open relationship and no longer paying rent?

At 24, reclaiming your independence can feel like stepping into the sunlight for the first time. When family—the people who should offer safety—become enforcers of outdated rules and unexpected relationship dynamics, it can sting like a cold breeze on bare skin. That’s exactly where our narrator finds herself: stunned by her parents’ open-relationship reveal and resentful of their insistence that she pay rent as if she were still a teenager.

Within days of that blow, she made the hardest decision of all: to walk away. Packing only what she could carry, she moved into her boyfriend’s home, secured a mental-health plan, and slated her first therapy session. Already, she senses the weight lifting—proof that sometimes, cutting ties is the first step toward healing.

For those who want to read the previous part: AITA for the way I reacted to my parents open relationship and no longer paying rent?

‘UPDATE: AITA for the way I reacted to my parents open relationship and no longer paying rent?’

Its been over a week since I. Thank you guys for your Judgments and advice. I have blocked my parents on everything and have gone no contact. After just over a week I already feel like a new person without them in my lives.

My boyfriend has been my rock through all this, I was a mess of tears and anger the first few days and he's the one who got me through it. Im currently staying with him (renting) but we have been looking for our own place together since the lease on the current place runs out soon.

I went to my gp and got a mental health plan done up so I should be seeing a therapist soon, free of charge. Its not a huge update but Im doing a lot better in so little time from just cutting them out of my life, Im looking forward to the future.

Breaking away from toxic family dynamics can feel like severing the very roots that once nurtured you. Yet family therapist Dr. John Gottman emphasizes that “establishing and enforcing healthy boundaries is essential for emotional safety.” In this case, our narrator’s choice to go no-contact—even toward her own parents—represents a radical act of self-care. By refusing to tolerate being treated like a perpetual tenant, she reclaims agency over her own life.

Feeling empowered to set limits often brings an immediate sense of relief. Developmental psychologist Dr. Erik Erikson noted that young adults must balance intimacy and independence to develop a robust sense of self. Our protagonist exemplifies this stage: she seeks closeness with her supportive partner while asserting the autonomy she was denied at home. This delicate dance between connection and freedom is critical for a healthy adult identity.

Choosing professional support is another cornerstone of recovery. According to leading self-compassion researcher Dr. Kristin Neff, “Self-compassion involves recognizing our own suffering and responding with kindness rather than judgment.” By arranging therapy through a mental-health plan, she not only acknowledges her pain but also commits to nurturing herself—an act many of us shy away from in favor of self-criticism.

Finally, leaning on a trusted ally can make all the difference. Studies on social support underscore that having even one reliable confidant buffers stress and accelerates healing. Our narrator’s boyfriend serves as that rock—proof that forging new, healthier relationships can soften the blow of severed family ties and light the path forward.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit readers applauded her courage, noting that no child should be treated as an unpaid boarder—especially by parents who claim adulthood. Many praised her for prioritizing mental health and celebrated the boyfriend’s unwavering support.

Others shared similar stories of liberating themselves from family toxicity, echoing the sentiment that setting firm boundaries is the only way to preserve one’s well-being.

dwotw − I'm really happy to hear its working out for you and that you are out of that toxic situation. Well done.

Nicky_Sixpence − Phew. Good for you and your titanium spine! Sometimes, when a bad environment has become your normal and you then suddenly move into a better healthier environment it can be shocking and almost euphoric. Enjoy your new life, and well done!

aprilludgate4queen − I’m happy you’re out of that situation! When I was young my parents made me pay rent to live with them, but still treated me like a child (chores, bed time of 9). They would even take my phone at night that I paid for.

One day I was saying I shouldn’t have to do those things since I pay rent, I should just clean after myself and come home when I want. I was being respectable about it (if I was going out, I’d stay somewhere else) I even said I’d still let them know wherever I was, in case of emergency.

My dad started screaming at me that it was his house and his rules, then my mom started screaming about something stupid and unrelated (my shoes) and I made a comment about my shoes being unrelated and I was told “get the f*ck out of my house!” So I did.

They wanted me to pay rent still, but instead, I used my key, came when they were gone and got all my stuff. Moved to the beach and I’ve been living my best life since.. You’re going to do great out there and trust me, this is the best thing that could’ve happened.. Also, can I suggest joining r/narcissisticparents and r/raisedbynarcissists

Salamander_9 − Don't downplay this. This is a huge update. It's a big step to move out and cut contact but it's good that you're putting yourself first. Kudos to your boyfriend for being there for you!

bretl002 − How is the puppy doing? Hoping it came with you

mooseshart − Good for you. I’m proud of you for doing what’s best for you, and turning your shituation in to a good one.

capmanor1755 − Yay!! You did an awesome job handling a horrible situation. I hope you get some good care from your doctor and your new therapist. Amd remember that therapists are like hair dressers- sometimes you have to try 2-3 before you find one you're comfortable with. Enjoy your peaceful new life ❤️

jaybirdie1993 − I'm glad. I'm non-monogamous and went wtf when I saw your original post. Treating your child as a tenant and allowing someone who hasn't been in your child's life to treat your child like trash isn't it. Going no contact is best

Serafita − Nice work on dealing with them but did you grab all of your important documentation before leaving and going no contact? Make a list of anything you might have forgot so if you do have to go back for it, do it in one go preferably with company

Gizmo9598 − I just read your 1st post and am REALLY happy you're in a better place. I'm a parent and cannot even fathom charging my kids rent at the age of 27 and 24, let alone 16! I'm so sorry you've gone through this and that your parents saw (& apparently continue to see) you as a source of income instead of their child... that's just totally messed up!

(& to clarify, yes my children still live at home; however they do contribute by chipping in for all utilities and paying for groceries...not because I asked them to but because, as they said, they're adults, and it's the right thing to do.)

Continue to stand your rightful ground while also continuing to find your new found happiness of no longer being a used as a bank! 😊 Enjoy your life with your doggie and BF...you deserve it!

Cutting ties with family can feel both terrifying and liberating—but sometimes it’s the healthiest choice we can make. Whether it’s toxic rent practices or unexpected relationship rules, setting clear boundaries is a vital step toward self-respect.

Have you ever had to choose between family loyalty and your own mental health? How did you find the courage to prioritize yourself? Share your experiences and advice below!

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