UPDATE: AITA For Drawing a Hard Line at My Dad’s Wedding, Rejecting the Unity Ceremony

In a dramatic turn of events, the final update on a turbulent family saga has emerged. With emotions running high and long-held resentments finally coming to a head, a young woman has issued an ultimatum to her father.

She has made it clear that unless he chooses between accepting her absence at his wedding or including her as an active participant in the family unity ceremony, she will no longer be present. This update recounts how a series of events—from a refused babysitting request during an emergency to hurtful texts that sealed her fate—led her to finally pack up and leave her childhood home for good.

Now living with supportive friends while charting a new course for her future, she faces an uncertain path ahead. Nonetheless, her decision stems from a deep need for self-respect and safety. The following account provides a detailed look into the events that forced her to draw a decisive line between toxic family expectations and her own well-being.

For those who want to read the previous part: AITA For Drawing a Hard Line at My Dad’s Wedding, Rejecting the Unity Ceremony?

‘AITA For Drawing a Hard Line at My Dad’s Wedding, Rejecting the Unity Ceremony’

I debated posting my update and I still might chicken out but I'll write it out and see whether I post or not. I know people wanted an update and I was asked to talk more about what my plans were. I shared some details in my original post but things have changed because I moved out. Technically kicked out.

On the day I made my post I had plans to sleep at a friends house. Once I got there my dad sent a text saying his partner was rushed to the hospital again and he needed me to babysit again. I told him no once and that was it. A few hours later my dad asked where the hell I was and why had I said no when this was an emergency.

He sent multiple texts but when he realized I really wouldn't babysit and had stayed

I knew he meant it so when everyone was out I went to the house and grabbed everything I had prepared to leave with when following my plan exactly. That included all the important documents I had, clothes and anything I bought or that was given to me by people who aren't my dad.

It was basically all ready to go anyway and I got in and out without a fight. My friends parents are letting me stay until I can follow through with my original plan which was to get somewhere with a friend locally until we all graduate and then some friends and I will be moving state. We've been working on this for a long time now.

Honestly I have been working my ass off to save money to be able to leave regardless of whether I had help from friends but having them definitely helps. My dad sent more texts since I grabbed all my stuff. He tried to guilt and shame me and talked about how much the kids needed me and I wasn't there.

But he also let out way more of his resentment toward me and it confirmed what I already knew about him. He doesn't regret the way he treated me since I was 11. He meant every word he said. And that he expected me to pay him back for raising me. But I won't. I'm not staying to be treated like s**t.

He still wants me out of his house and he reminded me that I was not welcome back. That he better not come home to find me there ever again. So that's my update. It's been a crazy day/couple of days and I got so many comments on my post. Way more than I expected.

I know a few people tried to convince me that he really did love me and didn't resent me and was trying to make it up to me. But after all this I'm more convinced he resents me and the trying to include me lately was an act to make me someone who could do stuff for him.

I don't believe I ever had the dad I originally thought I had. Because I don't think an actual good and loving dad would shut it all off one day for no good reason.Things have changed a little but I'll keep working toward my plan. I'll also make sure I make it up to my friends parents because I know this was unexpected for them and I'm grateful they let me stay.

Family therapists and child psychologists agree that setting boundaries in toxic relationships is a crucial step toward healing. Experts note that when a parent uses guilt and unresolved resentment as tools to manipulate their child—especially when those feelings stem from longstanding issues—it’s both healthy and necessary for the child to reclaim their autonomy. “Recognizing your worth and establishing clear boundaries is vital for your emotional well-being,” explains a seasoned family counselor.

Additionally, legal experts remind young individuals that if abuse or neglect is evident, there are resources available—including documenting communication for future recourse. In situations like this, where a parent’s behavior has been consistently harmful, stepping away can be both a form of self-care and a means to break the cycle of dysfunction.

Professional guidance often emphasizes that children, regardless of age, are not obligated to “pay back” for parental responsibilities when those responsibilities are executed in a toxic environment.

Social psychologists also highlight the importance of emotional independence. By choosing to remove herself from this harmful dynamic, the daughter is taking a stand for her mental and emotional health. This decisive action is seen not as rebellion, but as an essential step toward establishing a safe and supportive environment for her future.

Finally, experts suggest that while the pain of severing long-standing family ties is significant, the process of moving on and forming “found families” can lead to a healthier, happier life. Therapy, counseling, and a strong support network can help mend the wounds caused by years of emotional manipulation, paving the way for more fulfilling relationships in the future.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Online responses to the update have been overwhelmingly supportive. Commenters have praised her for having the courage to stand up against a lifetime of toxic expectations. Many agree that no loving parent would ever treat their child as a transactional caregiver, and that her actions are a natural response to deep-seated neglect.

Some users have even recommended legal and counseling resources for further support and have shared personal stories of escaping similar harmful situations. The consensus is clear: setting boundaries is not just justified—it’s necessary for survival and future happiness.

[Reddit User] − NTAH You need a lawyer. You're still 17 so he owes you child support. You have all the evidence to go to the police if necessary. Talk to your friend's parents and ask them, your dad must pay, if he wants or not.

Fanoflif21 − His new family are in for one helluva shock when he latest facade drops and they realise who they are stuck with.. You've handled all this with maturity beyond your years; have a brilliant life!

Substantialgood4102 − I have to wonder if your mom abandoned you or if she actually escaped a very abusive relationship with your dad. Many times abused women have to leave their kids with the abuser because of no other choice. Some people abuse the spouse but not the kids. Do you only have Dad's version of why Mom left? I'm glad you are out and safe. Dad's just mad he lost his babysitter.

FoxySlyOldStoatyFox − Keep these texts. Print them or have them in some other form that won’t disappear when you change phones, etc. Create a full written record of all the st has happened.  This may or may not be necessary for practical reasons, but there will come a time when you need that sustenance emotionally. 

Chiara985 − So he finally found out actions have consequences. For what is worth in proud of you. I wish you all the best in life. 

nandopadilla − Dude I've been in your position. He will never change and he will never feel regret or remorse. Don't hope for anything because it will be b**lshit. S**t, I had my negligent father scream at me that I

Uglym8s − I’m an unwanted child. I started planning my escape at 18 at a similar age too. From someone who understands, believe me when I tell you that I am so proud of you and how you handled all of this. You’ve shown maturity and dignity way beyond your years.

You’re so lucky to have your friends with you and trust me, life will be so much better now that you’re free from all the toxicity. Time to start making a family of people you choose. Exciting stuff. Good luck in life. I’m really rooting for you. Don’t forget to check in every once in a while to let us know how you’re getting on.

Fragrant-Reserve4832 − So how long do we think before he's back begging for a 2nd chance?

Diligent-Sleep8025 − Just a mom/grandma sitting here wanting to give you a hug. You go live your very best life! Have all the adventures and hold on to the friends. Save those messages though because at some point your sperm donor will come calling for you to take care of him (they always do) and you have all the reasons in the world to ignore him.

ciaran668 − Congratulations. It sounds like you've escaped a very toxic situation. I suggest going over to r/raisedbynarcissists. Their sidebar has a bunch of very useful resources, and the people over there offer very good advice. It doesn't matter if your father is ACTUALLY a narcissist.

It's a sub for people who've experienced the types of abuse you're describing, especially the telling you that you need to leave at 18, and then also the raging at you when you don't comply with his orders. I sincerely hope you find people that can become your new

In conclusion, this latest update serves as a stark reminder that loyalty should never come at the expense of one’s well-being. By drawing a clear line between what she is willing to accept and what she isn’t, the young woman is not only standing up for herself but also redefining the relationship dynamic for future interactions.

As she embarks on a new chapter of life away from toxicity, her story raises an important question: How far should one go in holding family members accountable for long-standing abusive behavior? Do you believe that setting such hard boundaries can lead to healing, or do they risk creating irreparable rifts? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below—your insights might just help others navigate similar turbulent waters.

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