[UPDATE] AITA for choosing my daughter over my wife?

In a home shadowed by tension, a father watches his wife shower love on their son while casting cold neglect on their young daughter, her jealousy twisting family bonds into knots. Forced to hide gifts and lock doors to shield his daughter’s spirit, he finally snaps when his wife trashes her belongings and demands they leave. Packing up his kids, he seeks refuge with his parents, unraveling a painful truth too long ignored.

This isn’t just about a family fracture—it’s a wake-up call for a dad stepping into his role as protector. Reddit’s outcry in his first post fueled his resolve, and now his update charts a bold escape. Like a storm clearing to reveal a new dawn, the story probes the courage to break free from abuse, asking how you’d choose between love and loyalty when a child’s heart is at stake.

For those who want to read the previous part: AITA for finally choosing my daughter over my wife?

‘[UPDATE] AITA for choosing my daughter over my wife?’

Thank u everyone for every comments,u opended my eyes. So for everyone asking my daughter is with me at my parents house. And I'll pick up my son from school today and he's gonna stay with me. My lawyer got all papers prepared. And I'm ready to take all of this to court.

I got in contact with police and they will come and take my wife out of the house tomorrow. My neighbour called police on her for destroying my property and my car. She will probably spend some time in jail. My lewyer got all the evidence. And it's going to court.

It took few days for police to process all the stuff, but now they know about that she's not supposed to come close to them. I know a lot people asked how I couldn't see it before or why I didn't left. I joined army when I was 21 and I was there until 28. I didn't spend a lot of time at home. I didn't have a choice to put my kids somewhere else.

And when I left army and I came home I had to deal with with mental issues I had.It's all good now, but she liked to use it against me most of the time. I didn't have a job before, house is mine just because my parents left it for me.

(My parents are not my biological parents, they adopted me when I was 15, before that I was in foster home because of my father abuse), but I think about them as my real parents. They love my kids, and kids love them. I have to be careful because she accused me of cheating, she hurted herself before, when I tried to leave.

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I know most people don't understand it, but please try to imagine how it was. I love my kids with my whole heart and I'll do my best to make they're lives normal again. They will always remember this, but I hope they will forgive me one day.

The father’s decision to leave his abusive wife marks a pivotal shift, prioritizing his daughter’s safety and emotional well-being over a marriage warped by jealousy. His wife’s neglect and hostility toward their daughter, coupled with property destruction, reveal a dangerous dynamic that also likely affected their son, despite her favoritism. The father’s military-induced absences and mental health struggles delayed his response, but his current legal and protective actions show accountability.

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A 2023 study in Child Abuse & Neglect found that 65% of children in homes with parental favoritism experience emotional abuse, increasing risks of anxiety and low self-esteem (Elsevier, 2023). Dr. Karyl McBride, a family trauma expert, notes, “Parental jealousy toward a child often stems from unresolved insecurities, but it’s the parent’s duty to seek help, not the child’s to endure” (WillIEverBeGoodEnough.com). The wife’s self-harm and accusations of cheating underscore her manipulative control.

Reddit’s support for the father’s exit is well-placed, though timeline doubts reflect scrutiny of rapid escalation. Therapy for the children is critical to heal their trauma, and his guilt acknowledges past enabling.

He should secure a restraining order and notify the school to block the wife’s access (DomesticShelters.org). Enrolling the kids in play therapy can address their emotional wounds, while he seeks counseling for his own trauma. Documenting all evidence strengthens his custody case.

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Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit’s piling on a mountain of support for this dad’s drastic stand, with cheers for his kid-saving courage and jabs at his wife’s unhinged envy—dig into these raw reactions!

jacksonlove3 − I’m glad to read this update today! You’re doing the absolute right and best thing for your children and for yourself, even your wife. She needs consequences and she needs serious help! My opinion on yesterdays post was probably harsh and I apologize after reading what’s posted here.

It clarifies a lot of why your wife’s behavior went on for so long. Get yourself and the kids into therapy as soon as possible. I’m glad you’re doing what you need to do for all of you, and I wish you and the kids all the best!! Please keep updated!!

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Thick_Memory_6063 − Good to hear. If she’s not supposed to be near the kids make sure the school knows so she doesn’t try and pick them up before you. Hard road ahead but you are doing the right thing. With the military thing I’m with you there, I also married young to someone I thought I knew.

z-eldapin − My neighbour called police on her for destroying my property and my car.. Wait, I missed this. What did she do to your property and your car?

Fine_Cheek_4106 − They will always remember this, but I hope they will forgive me one day. You have definitely taken the right steps in being more immediate about this, and getting authority involved too in moving your ex out.

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Your last bit of that sentence speaks a lot when compared on what some of your comments were from last time; in those you seemed to deliberately avoid answering/owning about being any kind of culpable and abetting for your role in your daughter's state. Good for you - (honestly, not condescending)

Hoping that a (IIRC) 5 year old (who are very perceptive about actions as well as words) will forgive you for the way your actions told her that her happiness had to be a secret or else your wife would get mad at YOU instead, is a very big first step into admitting you now know what you enabled - and tells drom the outside how much you really do love her.

There's an odd but apt saying - 'Children are like wet cement, even the littlest things will leave an imprint.' You have the rest of her very impressionable childhood to undo this damage (with therapeutic help) and I wish you the very best in that. You just gave her and you the best shot to forgiveness.

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Please remember to try and take care of yourself too, this has to be incredibly hard for you, and you would just be being cruel to yourself to n**lect your own mentality in this too.  Your children matter, but so do you.. All the courage to you in this!

lestanin − Stay strong, we all support your decisions and hope for the best for you three. I'm so relieved you got both children and that woman is already in custody. There's no shame in the past and not having done enough, all that's important now is keeping those kiddos safe and happy. Let the healing begin:)

Technical_Pumpkin_65 − That’s a good news ,we don’t blame you and we are happy that you stand up for your daughter but also your son! Do your best to take them away from her and start as soon as possible therapy.

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You all need support after all the damages that woman have done,it will take time to undo all she put in their head but I’m sure with time and patience you gonna be ok .. I wish you well

[Reddit User] − I hope everything goes well and thank you for the update. And good luck to your family.

SassyMarmot99 − Wait am i missing something? Starting to think this is fake...I smell a karma farmer. It took few days for police to process all the stuff Erm, didn't you just post your original less then 24 hours ago? How have days passed with this issue already?. Am I the only one here confused?. Edit:typos

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Tootie0 − You're moving in the right direction. I'm proud of you. This s**t is hard. Keep striving to make sure your kids are well.

[Reddit User] − I’m so glad to be reading this! I’m glad that you and the kids are out of there and away from her abuse because believe it or not, she has been abusing your son to not just your daughter

and your son just doesn’t realize it just get them into therapy!  And get into therapy to for yourself! But I am glad to see that she is going to be getting consequences and if you can continue to keep us updated when you’re ready.

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These are Reddit’s fiercest gems, but do they polish the full shine of guilt, grit, and healing?

This saga of a father’s flight from a jealous wife’s shadow is a stark reminder that love for your kids can demand tearing down a broken home. Reddit’s rallying cry fueled his escape, and now his legal fight promises a safer dawn for his children. It’s a lesson in choosing heart over habit when abuse festers. How would you rebuild a family after uncovering a parent’s betrayal of their own child? Drop your thoughts below—let’s pave a path for this dad’s new chapter!

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