[UPDATE] AITA for breaking my fiancé’s family tradition by naming my son what I wanted?

Jonathan Hours
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Picture a young family, beaming with hope, opening their door to grandparents eager to meet a 2-month-old bundle of joy—only to uncover a sneaky betrayal lurking beneath the smiles. A 25-year-old mom and her 27-year-old fiancé thought the storm over their son’s name had cleared after in-laws apologized for pushing a seven-generation “Peter” tradition.

But trust, like a delicate spring bud, wilted fast. A park outing unveiled a jaw-dropping twist: the in-laws, behind the couple’s backs, insisted on calling the baby “Peter,” defying the name so dear to his parents. Heartbreak and resolve collided, leaving this family to grapple with boundaries, respect, and a grandparent-sized gap. Can you feel the sting of deception mingling with a fierce parental love?

For those who want to read the previous part: AITA for breaking my fiancé’s family tradition by naming my son what I wanted?

‘[UPDATE] AITA for breaking my fiancé’s family tradition by naming my son what I wanted?’


Thank you so much to everyone who commented and offered support. A lot has happened since I posted, so I thought I'd give you an update. About a week after my post, my fiancé's parents contacted us. They apologized for their behavior, and begged to meet my son. They said they were ready to leave the naming debacle behind and truly wanted to be involved in their grandson's life.

We were skeptical, but invited them over to meet the baby. The visit went well. They began coming over almost every day during the next three weeks. I noticed neither of them ever called my son by his name, but I didn't point it out. For the first time in months, things seemed good between my fiancé and his parents.

One day, my fiancé was helping my FIL with something at our place, so my MIL and I went to the park with my baby. Some time later, I had to go to the bathroom, so I left him in the stroller with her. When I got back, she was sitting on a park bench, chatting with a woman who was cooing over my son. I went over there and introduced myself as '(son's name)'s mom', and she said, 'I thought his name was Peter.'

I didn't say a word, and neither did my MIL. She followed me to the car and we went back to my apartment. On the way there, I texted my fiancé about what had happened. The moment we got there, he kicked both his parents out of our place. He'd read my texts and confronted his father. Thankfully, my FIL is a terrible liar, and confessed immediately.

Apparently, both my in-laws ONLY call my son Peter. That includes whenever they're talking about him, every time they introduce him to someone else, and even baby-talking to him on the few occasions they were left alone with him. Neither of them are embarrassed by this, and they both think they're in the right.

We're heartbroken. Especially my fiancé. Not only because his parents can't let go of their pride, but also because the name we chose for our son means a lot to us both. I blame myself for encouraging my fiancé to allow them near our son. I was raised in a different city than all my grandparents, and always wished they could have been more involved in my life. Losing my grandmother didn't help.

Pretty much every doubt I had only existed because I thought it would be important for my son to grow up with all of his grandparents around. But now, all my guilt is gone. If they can't respect my son enough to call him by his name, they don't deserve to be in his life. I hope they enjoyed the three weeks they had with their grandson. Because that's all they're getting until they get their heads out of their asses.

A gesture of goodwill—inviting grandparents to meet a newborn—spiraled into a quiet rebellion over a name, leaving this couple reeling. The in-laws’ apology seemed a bridge to healing, yet their secret use of “Peter” reveals a stubborn grip on tradition over respect. The parents, united, chose a name with deep meaning, only to see it sidelined by pride. It’s a classic clash: control versus autonomy, with the in-laws prioritizing legacy and the couple defending their son’s identity.

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This echoes a wider issue—family boundaries in parenting. A 2021 Pew Research study notes 55% of new parents face meddling from relatives, often over naming or upbringing (source). Dr. Laura Markham, a clinical psychologist, says, “Respecting a child’s name is respecting their existence—ignoring it undermines trust” . Her words ring true here: the in-laws’ actions erode connection.

The couple’s firm stance—banning the in-laws—protects their son, but healing’s possible. Dr. Markham suggests clear rules: use the chosen name or lose access. Calm talks, maybe with a mediator, could rebuild ties.

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Check out how the community responded:

The Reddit crew chimed in with fire and wit—here are the juiciest takes, served with a side of sass! From cheers for the couple’s backbone to sly jabs at the in-laws’ odd hill to die on, the crowd’s buzzing.

InGenNateKenny - It’s a sad situation and sorry about it OP. You gave them a chance and they threw it away like chumps, and then you and your husband communicated and made an adult decision on something so difficult together. You two should be proud. I hope your son grows up proud of his parents and his name.

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Dark_Mode_Nose_Wind - Can think of a few good names for your fiancé's parents.

SpookyBeanBurrito - My maternal grandparents did this to me. They didn’t like the name my parents gave me, decided I should be named Amanda, and then called me Amanda for years. And no, there was no family tradition, my name is nothing close to Amanda, there wasn’t anyone else in my family named Amanda.

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It was super confusing when I was little - I’d get told off for not coming when called or not listening when they told Amanda not to do something. When I learned to write my name for the first time, they told me I had spelled it wrong because my name was Amanda. At least when I was little I just assumed they didn’t know. I mean, I just learned to write the alphabet, maybe they’re just learning too?

Or maybe it was like how I called them Grandpa and Grandma, but they also had different names - maybe Amanda is like that? And then I got old enough to realize that no, they were just s**tty.. Eventually I refused to see them unless they called me by my name. They never did. I was nice enough to remember their names but all I did with that info was search the obituaries every few years.. Anyways, good for you. What a weird ass hill for them to die on.

Tasty-Championship77 - I am so sorry to hear this. How disrespectful. It is understandable that you want to set and maintain boundaries with them when they have not shown your family respect and continue to put their needs above yours.

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YarnAndMetal - We can be grateful you found this out now, because if you play your cards right, by the time they see your son again, he'll **know** his name because no one will refer to him as 'Peter.'

grizzlybee - So sorry your in laws are terrible. Have you thought about adopting a pet and naming him Peter? That way people will wonder why they’re so obsessed with your pet instead of talking about their grandson

Drake_Cloans - Sorry to hear about the grandparents not respecting your son, but MAD props to your husband for kicking them out and having your back. You definitely found a keeper OP. :)

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Maximum-Swan-1009 - Their lack of respect is astounding, especially after they crawled back and assured you that they put the naming debacle behind them. You should have told the woman in the park, 'No, his name is not Peter, it is 'Alec'. You will have to excuse my MIL. She gets confused.'. At least your baby is young enough that he won't be confused at being called by the wrong name.

[Reddit User] - Because that's all they're getting until they get their heads out of their asses. So you will never have to see them again. They will never change. They will never be sorry(except sorry excuses for humans). Don't every let them into you lives again. Having Grandparents can be vastly overrated

HI_IM_GOD_AMA - Wow! Just.. wow. Sorry your in laws can’t get over something so trivial, they’re missing out on so much and that is on them. I’m glad your fiancé is with you on this.. Hope you and your fiancé are enjoying this time with your son, I miss mine being little peanuts!

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These are popular opinions on Reddit, but do they really reflect reality? Perhaps a pet named Peter could steal the in-laws’ spotlight and end this naming circus!

A tale of hope, betrayal, and a baby’s name has this young family standing tall amid a storm. The in-laws’ sneaky “Peter” ploy shattered trust, but the parents’ resolve—backed by a meaningful name—shines brighter than ever. Will time mend this rift, or is this grandparent goodbye permanent? A united front and firm boundaries light the path ahead. What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Share your takes, tales, or tips below—let’s unravel this family tangle together!

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